T Nation

Again with the pretty boys

My biases against the greek system aren’t based on them being “limp wristed” at all. In fact, I don’t know what I think about frats outside of my own school. I do, however, know that most of the frat boys at my university seem to be more interested in getting ass or getting drunk than school. I know that they give us a bad name with their vandalisms and pranks. I know that sororities at my school “lend” sisters to frat boys during greek week. And I know that they don’t even have the decency to keep from drinking and partying at 3am inside the dorms… directly across the hall from the RA. How it is at other schools, I have no idea. The sense of entitlement, the disregard for authority, and the general recklessness that frat boys at my particular university engage in are all I have to judge. I don’t like it very much.

I am the first to concede, however, that not all of them are that way. I’ve known quite a few great guys that happened to be members of fraternities. It’s usually the freshmen and sophomores that can’t control themselves.

I have to say I’ve never seen such a rebel who didnt care about anyone’s opinion cry like a cunt. In many of your posts you bring up your idols and what you respect about them. Ask yourself this: Would they be online crying about some girl’s preferences of men and how it bothers them? Chances are they wouldnt because they sound like MEN. Dont just try to match their lifts but what they represent. Somewhere along the line you have mistaken the image of a man to be our only trait.

I’m not crying about how I can’t get a girl, or their preferances, I already said I can get some if I feel like it. I asked that cashier who told me about that guy if she’d feel like a female if her guy weighed less than her & she asked me if I’d want a huge muscle girl from some magazine & that made absolutely no sense whatsoever. Those oldtimers said that there are far too many guys who get into lifting to look good or impress a bunch of girls & I guess not much has changed.

Rock on brah.

The original question was: “Why do girls go for guys who obviously can’t do anything for themselves & need others to make them feel ok?! I’ll never understand. >:(” Well, maybe they are just more fun to be around. Maybe big guys intimidate them. There are lots of reasons women “go for” guys besides just looks and strength. Some women don’t give a damn about muscles, they just want the guy to be “nice”. There are so many different qualities to a person and it could be any mix of them that she likes. There’s the answer as best I can lay it out. You may not understand but it’ll at least give you something to think about.

Lets hear somemore about that school where the sororities lend a girl to the frats. where is it, i’ll be a pretty boy if someone lends me a girl.

I’ve always looked like a “pretty boy”. I can’t help it. I used to train solely for looks, bodybuilding type stuff. I got the most attention from girls after I started lifting weights and they saw the difference. I went from a scrawny 6’1 140 lb. pretty boy to a slightly built 175 lb. pretty boy. I played sports so that helped. After the attention from the hotties I always lifted to look good for them. It wasn’t until sophomore year of college (last year) that I started lifting for what I wanted, which was strength. Now I lift for functional strength, Davie’s type stuff, and I’m 225 lbs. and don’t have that pretty boy 32" waist. I’m married so I don’t care about the girls anymore but I have noticed I don’t turn as much heads. To Drax, don’t try to understand women. It’s impossible. Focus on yourself, that’s hard enough for most people. Continue to do what you do. Lift for you. Be strong for you. Good luck in your endeavors.

That was an excellent post, Machine. I agree with all of your points. I think that there is a critical zone in physical development. Too little, and real women don’t want you. Too large, and they think you are a meathead.
Drax, try to relax and realize that we all scratch our heads about women. The key is to be successful in the majority of your endeavors. Learn from the pretty boys. Have you noticed how confident they appear? Try a little swagger here and there. The truth is, you could probably scare them into incontinence without much effort. A little personal story here to make you feel better. One time, I told a pretty boy that if we lived in pre-history, I would rule the roost and he would only be alive if he performed a useful function for the tribe. I told him that I would need to hoard resources. If he didn’t have a unique talent, he would not be allowed access to any food. He didn’t say anything in return. I had a little chuckle, however.
If all comes down to this: kick ass in the gym, at work, and in the classroom. Fill your resume with succcess. If you do this, you will get what you want.

“Whatever I do, I do for ME & if someone doesn’t like it, that’s their problem. That’s what I mean. I’m sure you guys really impress all the girls with your shapely small-waisted hourglass figures, but I’M IN IT FOR MYSELF. Who gives a fuck if anyone is into it or not” drax, then what is the point of this thread??? sad but true, the bigger the muscles, the smaller the brains. not all, I am sure that there are some pretty smart people on this board that are pretty big, but come on, do you realy think that the I.Q. inside a gym is as high as the I.Q. outside the gym?

“You wanna come of like a big friendly teddy bear to the ladies, and a quiet but deadly menace to other guys.” Beautiful, and mostly true. One thing to bear in mind while you beat eachother up over the proper motivation for lifting and who’s being a puss, is what are YOU looking for in a woman? Do you want the chick who is into milquetoaste (whatever his charms may be) or do you want a chick who is into a man with a strong, keen mind, deep ambition, healthy physique (however you define that), who is fiscally responsible, emotionally available and mentally mature? In other words, the total package (and the package is a factor as well)…which in a perfect world would be YOU. If you want a chick who is into the latter versus the former, what the hell are any of you worried about?! It may be kind of corny but if YOU develop ALL ASPECTS of your persona (not just the muscles, wallet, or wit) and you become the man YOU want to be then SHE (whomever she ends up being) will come to you and will APPRECIATE all that you are. Why prance after a chick, spreading your tail feathers to impress her and she isn’t even into what you have to offer? Why bother?

That’s a good point, karma. At the same time, I think many guys approach dating from a position of scarcity; that is, they believe that the number of available women is small and ever-diminishing. Further, they think that certain ‘types’ get more than their fair share of that small number (which isn’t altogether untrue). When viewing initial attraction as an intractable obstacle to romantic involvement, this presents a serious problem: I’m the way I want to be, but not the way that anyone else wants me to be, or alternatively, I cannot be what I would like to be. I develop my strengths, but they are not attractors.

I think that realizing that single women are not scarce, and that there are desireable women (however you define that) that will go for a guy of just about any type (as long as he’s confident) would go a long way towards healing some of the guys that are so miserable about the whole dating game.

Remember, don’t begrudge a guy just because he was born with a pretty face. He might be a hard worker, hard trainer, and as humble as the next guy. I don’t think I’m better than anyone else, and I hope to model for Abercrombie and Fitch or a similar store someday(I’m only 15). I was just born rather good looking. I don’t even comb my hair, if that tells you about how vain I am.