T Nation

Again with the pretty boys

I was heading upstairs today to go a break & one of the cashiers stopped me & started telling me about this one girl’s boy/girlfriend who just came back from some job (why? I don’t know). She said all the other cashiers were saying ‘gawsh he’s dreamy etc.’ & then they saw him go up to whatsherface & then they felt soooo bad. Then I saw the guy & he’s yer typical cuntry club wannabe with his skinny legs, permanent 5 o’clock shadow & nice tan & pretty face & a haircut you could set your clock to. & I bet all the girls think he’s also SUCH a nice guy. I don’t know who’s worse, the guys who do & say everything a girl would want to see/hear or the girls who encourage them. I bet his pickup line was “…well we’d have to call the cops because I can’t scare away any bad guys”. Luckily not all the girls are like that. A deli girl saw a pic on my locker of Doug Hepburn about to lock out his 450lbs OH press & she did a major triple-take before saying HOLY SHIT & another said she didn’t know what I meant about the girly-man stuff, her boyfriend is 6’3" & 270. I think those types are really few & far between though. Why do girls go for guys who obviously can’t do anything for themselves & need others to make them feel ok?! I’ll never understand. >:(

Heh heh, I know what you mean, my sister always goes for the faggy fraternity types. I try to hook her up with some of my gym buddies, who may not be loaded but are good guys, and she goes for the limp wristed SOB’s who wear frat shirts and khahi shorts 24/7. I think it takes a truly cool girl to dig the manly man, sweat, stinkiness and all, rather than a little princess that “doesn’t like to sweat.”

Drax, most girls dont distinguish between a guy who benches 300 or 500, because both of them are stronger than they are and thats all they really care about in that department. Seriously, aside from the gym how often do you display acts of great strength in your average day? On the other hand if you take a guy who is moderately fit, comfortable financially, treats her right and fucks her right she will find that more appealing. Because these things involve HER (not like lifting) and he can offer her these things on a daily basis.

PS: To any women reading this: Dont be upset at the previous statement. Its just a generalization and of course does not represent the way you think;)


Instead of wasting time, energy and emotion into being a hater, why don’t you take notes and LEARN THE GAME.

This revulsion towards “pretty boys” is really intriguing to me. My guess is that some posters have such negative reactions because being a “real man” is something that can be learned and developed, whereas being a “pretty boy” is something one is born with and therefore not worthy of admiration. Further, if it’s a quality necessary for acceptance by the opposite sex, it cannot be emulated without surgery. Hmm. I have my own problems with frat boys (people that act in certain ways), but if you’re born with model good looks, well, more power to ya. Just because everyone doesn’t put weight-training at the top of their priority list doesn’t make them less ‘manly’, necessarily. Just something to think about.

The “problem”, if there is one, is that most women could give a fuck about how strong their boyfriend is. Please define “guys who obviously can’t do anything for themselves”…does being big and strong make you intelligent or grant you problem solving abilities? Maybe, Drax, you’re just a prick who won’t give anyone else the time of day if they don’t think strength is the be-all and end-all to life. Maybe, you should stop coming to the forum looking for others to make you feel good when some dude who you think you’re superior to gets the girl, for reasons that would probally explode your stereotypically small brain. Take a fucking week off the iron and learn some people skills bro, and understand that you are not as hot as you think you are.

I am as hot as I think I am. About 20% of that I get in the gym. Honestly I could get away with less time there and do just as well because most women don’t expect you to be a human car jack, just look moderately fit. The other 80% is how you treat people and feel about yourself. Life isn’t a Conan movie. Muscles are not the be all and end all of a good life, they are a small part of it. Contemplate this, Grasshopper…:slight_smile:

Whatever I do, I do for ME & if someone doesn’t like it, that’s their problem. That’s what I mean. I’m sure you guys really impress all the girls with your shapely small-waisted hourglass figures, but I’M IN IT FOR MYSELF. Who gives a fuck if anyone is into it or not.

Excellent posts gentlemen.

My theory is this. Women DO want a strong guy. They have that primal urge to feel protected. But I think lots of them confuse emotional strength and physical strength.

There are very few actual “tough guys” in this world. The Westside guys qualify as being tough guys. Cops, firefighters, they are all tough guys.

The rest of the guys that try to ACT tough are the biggest posers on this planet. They are weak inside, so they have to pound their chest to try and trick the world into thinking they are strong. And many people fall for their act. They are like those little dogs that yap all the time, even the big dogs get scared of them sometimes.

So there are alot of guys out there who aren’t physically strong, guys that would get their asses handed to them by most of the guys on this forum. But they carry a false sense of attitude with them, and I think alot of women confuse this with true confidence. It makes them FEEL protected, because the women feel like when the time comes, these guys will know what to do in order to physically protect them.

A true woman, however, knows the difference.

True strength is shown through kindness.

I do it for me as well. I try to be stronger every time I go to the gym but I don’t expect that to mean a pinch of shit to anyone else. Surprise, surprise, it doesn’t. Of course claiming to do it just for yourself and fuck everyone that doesn’t like it is cool too…as long as you don’t keep posting these whining comments about the girl you can’t get, or the guy the girls like better. That really detracts from the “I don’t care” persona. There’s the way we’d like it to be, and the way it really is. People expect certain social skills in the people they like to associate with. Unfortunately “me have big muscles” doesn’t go very far. “Me have good conversational skills, real self esteem (as opposed to false bravado), and even a smidgen of empathy for others.” goes a bit further. What’s the difference between a guy that expects chicks to fall all over him because of his body only, and the one that thinks they’ll be coming in like bees to honey because he has a fine ride? None. They want more. Sorry.

Drax, I know exactly what you are talking about. The pretty boys are allways gonna get the attention, just like the pretty girls do even if they are totally prissy and high maintenance or dumb. Don’t sweat it, you don’t want the girls that are into sissies any way, they wouldn’t appreciate you. Besides, most girls look at a pretty boy the same way most guys look at prissy, stuck up, or dumb hot chicks, they just wanna bust a nut on em because the visual is great but they know they will get tired of the personality eventually. Just keep doing what you like to do, and play thier stupid game. Women are almost the only reason men are social at all. So remember when you are in a social setting you will get more attention if you gear your behavior towards what women like, but you can still glare down at the sissy boys when no girls are looking. It’s fun, women wanna play stupid little games, they wanna be impressed, so i give em what they want, but still play it to my agenda. You gotta tone down the aggression a little though bud, women can smell it and it frightens them. You wanna come of like a big friendly teddy bear to the ladies, and a quiet but deadly menace to other guys. Alot of it is body language and posturing, you wouldn’t believe how much people react to that stuff without realizing it. Just act like a man, but make sure you are allways relaxed, women are really sensitive to tension. Avoid being overly nice, but you know whats up. Sorry if you allready knew all this stuff. Wink and smile at every hottie, and laugh and smile alot anytime you are talking to them, they will forget about the sissies when they find a buff dude that isn’t intimidating.

Fuck these assholes, both in the real life and these few on the board who tried to diss you because of what you are trying to achieve. How are your plans for buffdom going? I seem to be stuck at 231 for ages. :frowning:

Axy: No one dissed Drax because of what he is trying to acheive. They dissed him because he is a whiny bitch. He is whining because he can’t get any pussy and he seems to think that benching a certain amount of weight should guarantee him some women. It just doesn’t work that way.

Just because you lift a lot of weight doesn’t mean you are tough. There are pleny of people who are not amazingly strong but could kick your ass. You don’t have to have a big bench to be able to punch hard. You don’t have to have a big military press to be a skilled grappler. T-men don’t whine like little babies when they don’t get their own way. Drax should stop being a whiny bitch.

I don’t know about anyone else but I’m not dissing trying to get as buff as you can. I’m just pointing out that most chicks dig a more well rounded guy over a one trick pony.

all ya’all need to settle down…

buncha sissy lil girls always wanting their mommas… this is all ya’all: mommie please change my diaper! hahaha!

I never said that if you bench XXXlbs you automatically makes you a big stud with the girls. What I don’t get is if a girl who prefers a scrawny wimp who couldn’t lift her off the floor. I know it’s not all physical & maybe the guy has tons of cash or they’re easier to manipulate than guys who can stand up for themselves. I get girls coming up to me in lab classes who want to work w/me or just start talking, etc so I can get all I want if I felt like it. Too bad for them that I’m waiting for this one girl to come back to school in Sept & if anyone thinks that’s funny well you can just taste my butthole.

Drax, by posting this you did exactly what you criticized in the last sentence of your post. you were posting this so that others would make you feel okay. Your goals to be strong are just as vain as his goals to be pretty. You being strong obviously makes you feel good about yourself and that dude looking nice obviously makes him feel good about himself. each to there own.
I bet he’s not on a forum bitching about you.
so then who really is the girly man???

I love how it automatically becomes “maybe he has money or whatever.” Perhaps he’s extremely intelligent, with a rapier wit. Maybe he’s an artist, or a brilliant mathematician. Perhaps he’s got charm and incredible social skill. And though he may be “scrawny,” perhaps he’s got a black belt in a martial art and can kick just about anyone’s ass. If spot judgements of those more successful than you serves as a temporary emolient, so be it; but don’t trick yourself into thinking that it’s anything other than that. It’s just like looking at a rich guy and thinking “his parents must’ve given him that money,” you assuage your own self-doubts and rationalize your self-perceived inadequacies by lashing out at others.

Yeah I’m sure that rich successful lawyer & state champ wrestler Brook Kubik with his 435 bottoms-up bench press on a 3" bar is really jealous of those guys who just want to look good for the ladies. Yeah I’m really jealous of them too, especially when I was one of the top rowers in BC & Canada & I’m going to be a fireman & a famous mathematician. I’m soooo jealous of those guys, with all my spot judgements & self-doubts & all the rest.

Okay, first of all, everyone needs to get off the whole fraternity bashing bit. I’ve met probably 1000 guys in my fraternity and I can tell you that these little limp wristed SOB’s aren’t that common. In fact, I usuall end up lifting with a bunch of the guys.

Why do women love these pretty boys? God only knows. I suppose for the same reason they think boy bands are cool, that Leonardo DiCaprio (before becoming a fat ass) was hot, and why they will chase guys with money. See studies show that women are attracted to guys who will provide stable security (in this world money). Look too big and they probably think you’re not smart, will run around on them, and are a jealous meathead (and for some on this forum, they’re right on). I’ve found that attractiveness is 80% attitude and 20% looks. If you just a dumb caveman, you don’t have the right attitude toward them. Act like you just want to fuck them, they’ll get away. Act like you care and will be there for them, you’re too weak. Ignore them and be a bit of a chase, you’ll get more attention. The fun is in the hunt.

Besides, we’re trying to figure out women, we’d be better off trying to discuss the intricacies of quantum physics. Gang’o’babes, your thought on all of this?