T Nation

Advice Please


#1

Hi guys,

My first post on here and hoping someone can give me some guidance/ can say something which can sort my head out.

Basically I am at a cross roads about starting a cycle. I used to be 10% bf and happy. But then in a matter of months my life fell apart at home, with my girl, with my career.....basically everything went to hell. Then I spiralled into a severe depression, attempted suicide and spiralled out of control. This was about 12 months ago now it all fell apart and 9 months since I was in that dark place.

I still suffer with depression and my doctors have refused to test me for low test even though Iv had all the symptoms for most of my life. Anti-depressents dont work. My best friend has got hold of gear for me and has said to try a test cycle at 500mg to try and turn my life around.

My question is this - is it worth a try? Does test affect mood that much? I'm now at 20% body fat but looking for a way to turn my life around. I used to be a gym rat and I want to be that guy again....but I'm scared I wont have the time - not actual time but that my depression will win and this time I wont survive it.

I know the risk of sides is much higher if I used test at this bf. But can test elevate mood that much and if I had diet and committment to workouts on lockdown can it help me begin to become myself again and recomp my physique?


#2

Honestly, it can. BUT, you have to come off sometime and you will be right in the same place. I would say go find a better doctor and get some bloodwork done. A cycle may be a lot of fun, but sounds like you have bigger issues at work here. And if you do have hormone issues a cycle could make it worse. I think your friend’s heart is in the right place, but don’t be too eager to jump into the deep end.


#3

You need to fix your depression first.

It MAY make you feel better but as soon as you come off it will hit you hard again. Steroids aren’t the solution to severe depression.

I also suffered from depression and was on lexapro. Have you been medicated for depression?

My advice would be put some hard work in at the gym and turn your life around naturally. Try to get your bf down and get back in shape. It’s amazing what some gym time and results can accomplish when depressed. Also I cannot stress how important it is to stay away from alcohol.

If not on anti depressants see a doc about it and get on them. They -do- help, although let me tell you they are very hard to come off. I was one of the lucky ones that quit cold turkey and haven’t looked back since but no way I would have cycled if I didn’t get it under control first.


#4

[quote]ammo wrote:
I know the risk of sides is much higher if I used test at this bf. But can test elevate mood that much and if I had diet and committment to workouts on lockdown can it help me begin to become myself again and recomp my physique?[/quote]

Well, first of all you clearly don’t have diet and working out on lockdown. And it sounds like you don’t plan on having these in order until you start a cycle. You have no idea how many people say they’re going to do get their shit straight as soon as they start a cycle, and then don’t. Instead they rely on the gear. This can be disasterous.

Here’s the bigger issue though. You don’t know how YOU respond to steroids. Some people feel great on them. Some people feel elevated. Others do not. And almost nobody feels good after the cycle is over. This is NOT the solution you should be seeking at this juncture.

My advice: You were once at 10% bf before in your life, naturally. Get there again naturally, and see how you feel. Don’t consider steroids again until then.

As a side note, consider getting bloodwork done to make sure nothing is awry that could be contributing to your depression. If you do have a medical condition, you may need to address that. If for whatever reason you decide to do a cycle after reading this advice, YOU MUST GET BLOODWORK FIRST.


#5

What anti depressant were you on OP?

I have yet to meet someone who has real depression that anti depressants didn’t work on. Maybe your dosage was off? I had to switch 2 different anti depressants until I found one that worked good and had to run a little higher dosage than usual.

What you need is a psychiatrist not gear.


#6

[quote]nooberific wrote:
I have yet to meet someone who has real depression that anti depressants didn’t work on.[/quote]

then you haven’t met enough people. Anti depressants simply don’t work for everyone. Psychiatry is anything but an exact science, and it’s ridiculous to say “well if anti depressants don’t work, you must not be depressed”. In fact, the better part of researchers in the field believe that anti depressants are not the most effective way to treat depression, and should be more or less a last resort. Most often, anti depressants are prescribed by GP’s rather than specialists.


#7

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

[quote]nooberific wrote:
I have yet to meet someone who has real depression that anti depressants didn’t work on.[/quote]

then you haven’t met enough people. Anti depressants simply don’t work for everyone. Psychiatry is anything but an exact science, and it’s ridiculous to say “well if anti depressants don’t work, you must not be depressed”. In fact, the better part of researchers in the field believe that anti depressants are not the most effective way to treat depression, and should be more or less a last resort. Most often, anti depressants are prescribed by GP’s rather than specialists.[/quote]

I guess it was a silly generalization I made but my whole family has suffered from depression as have several acquaintances and friends and all have been much better on anti depressants.

It’s a little tricky, like I said I had to go through a few and play with dosing but they -do- work.

Also had no idea GP could give out anti depressants. In my country only a psychiatrist can prescribe that type of medication.


#8

[quote]nooberific wrote:

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

[quote]nooberific wrote:
I have yet to meet someone who has real depression that anti depressants didn’t work on.[/quote]

then you haven’t met enough people. Anti depressants simply don’t work for everyone. Psychiatry is anything but an exact science, and it’s ridiculous to say “well if anti depressants don’t work, you must not be depressed”. In fact, the better part of researchers in the field believe that anti depressants are not the most effective way to treat depression, and should be more or less a last resort. Most often, anti depressants are prescribed by GP’s rather than specialists.[/quote]

I guess it was a silly generalization I made but my whole family has suffered from depression as have several acquaintances and friends and all have been much better on anti depressants.

It’s a little tricky, like I said I had to go through a few and play with dosing but they -do- work.

Also had no idea GP could give out anti depressants. In my country only a psychiatrist can prescribe that type of medication.
[/quote]

I always forget not everyone’s American, lol


#9

Hi guys

Thank you for all of the responses. In answer to my diet not being on lockdown - I fully understand your reaction to say that. When I was at 10% bf it was due to training and diet being under control. Obviously with the way I have spiralled its been out of control but as you can tell from the nature of this post Im looking for a way to get my life in order again.

With regards to the medications I was on - I was prescribed Sertraline and then citalopram. Both did not agree with me and made my suicidality worse. Since then Ive been trying 5-htp as an alternative. It definatelyhas had a positive effect but not exactly a turn around.

Once again thanks for the advice. I will definately be looking for a different doctor to check my bloodwork and find out if an abnormality is messing me up.


#10

If you are dead set on gear make sure you get on an AI. I believe I have read that high bf contributes to things such as gyno on cycle and I feel seeing gyno would possibly make your depression even worse.

But my first course of action would be getting proper bloodwork done and maybe consulting another psychiatrist. My psych knows I am on cycle so I have him to back me up if anything goes wrong.