My first post on here and hoping someone can give me some guidance/ can say something which can sort my head out.
Basically I am at a cross roads about starting a cycle. I used to be 10% bf and happy. But then in a matter of months my life fell apart at home, with my girl, with my career.....basically everything went to hell. Then I spiralled into a severe depression, attempted suicide and spiralled out of control. This was about 12 months ago now it all fell apart and 9 months since I was in that dark place.
I still suffer with depression and my doctors have refused to test me for low test even though Iv had all the symptoms for most of my life. Anti-depressents dont work. My best friend has got hold of gear for me and has said to try a test cycle at 500mg to try and turn my life around.
My question is this - is it worth a try? Does test affect mood that much? I'm now at 20% body fat but looking for a way to turn my life around. I used to be a gym rat and I want to be that guy again....but I'm scared I wont have the time - not actual time but that my depression will win and this time I wont survive it.
I know the risk of sides is much higher if I used test at this bf. But can test elevate mood that much and if I had diet and committment to workouts on lockdown can it help me begin to become myself again and recomp my physique?