Advice on Wife Texting Her Boss

Not to sound like a lifetime movie, but I’m pretty crazy about her. I’m 49 and it’s not my first rodeo so i will survive either way, but i will miss the shit out of her. i just know it’s not gonna work if i can’t get by this. I know I might have overreacted by kicking her out, but I was tore up over the situation and I got drunker than a man should ever be.

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

I would get phone records, pretty sure text messages can be pulled.

[/quote]

Not without a warrant. We tried with my daughters.

[quote]T-Raven wrote:
I found out my wife has been texting and talking with her boss after hours. It’s been going on for about six weeks and she was hiding it from me. She says nothing hinky went on, that they were just friends and everything was above board. He has an EMT background and she is a nurse, so they had the medical field and those experiences in common.

She doesn’t have a lot of unaccounted for time, but they work twelve hour shifts together behind a security gate and she has a trailer, so who the hell knows. I love her, and i think she loves me, but when this broke i got drunk and told her to leave and we have been separated for a week. I want her, back but I don’t feel like I can trust her. [/quote]
Sorry mate; it’s probably what you think. :frowning:

Since you’re separated, anything could happen right now for all sorts of fucked-up emotional reasons.

But if you’re willing to overlook whatever might have happened over the last week, there’s probably still a chance.

[quote]Testy1 wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

I would get phone records, pretty sure text messages can be pulled.

[/quote]

Not without a warrant. We tried with my daughters.
[/quote]
Thanks, never knew that.

[quote]Testy1 wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

I would get phone records, pretty sure text messages can be pulled.

[/quote]

Not without a warrant. We tried with my daughters.
[/quote]

foam roll and 3some

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]T-Raven wrote:
I found out my wife has been texting and talking with her boss after hours. It’s been going on for about six weeks and she was hiding it from me. She says nothing hinky went on, that they were just friends and everything was above board. He has an EMT background and she is a nurse, so they had the medical field and those experiences in common.

She doesn’t have a lot of unaccounted for time, but they work twelve hour shifts together behind a security gate and she has a trailer, so who the hell knows. I love her, and i think she loves me, but when this broke i got drunk and told her to leave and we have been separated for a week. I want her, back but I don’t feel like I can trust her. [/quote]
Sorry mate; it’s probably what you think. :([/quote]
X2

[quote]bdocksaints75 wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]T-Raven wrote:
I found out my wife has been texting and talking with her boss after hours. It’s been going on for about six weeks and she was hiding it from me. She says nothing hinky went on, that they were just friends and everything was above board. He has an EMT background and she is a nurse, so they had the medical field and those experiences in common.

She doesn’t have a lot of unaccounted for time, but they work twelve hour shifts together behind a security gate and she has a trailer, so who the hell knows. I love her, and i think she loves me, but when this broke i got drunk and told her to leave and we have been separated for a week. I want her, back but I don’t feel like I can trust her. [/quote]
Sorrx2y mate; it’s probably what you think. :([/quote]
[/quote]
LOL

my ex accused me of sending explicit text messages to other females before… I immediately grabbed my phone and put it in her hand and said “look for yourself”

she looked through everything, (which I wasn’t exactly pleased about… wish she would have just trusted me) and I even let her hold my phone for the day and read every text as it came in. needless to say, her fears were alleviated

I feel that this is what anyone would do if they actually had nothing to hide, and really wanted their significant other to trust them…

[quote]bdocksaints75 wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]T-Raven wrote:
I found out my wife has been texting and talking with her boss after hours. It’s been going on for about six weeks and she was hiding it from me. She says nothing hinky went on, that they were just friends and everything was above board. He has an EMT background and she is a nurse, so they had the medical field and those experiences in common.

She doesn’t have a lot of unaccounted for time, but they work twelve hour shifts together behind a security gate and she has a trailer, so who the hell knows. I love her, and i think she loves me, but when this broke i got drunk and told her to leave and we have been separated for a week. I want her, back but I don’t feel like I can trust her. [/quote]
Sorry mate; it’s probably what you think. :([/quote]
X2[/quote]
Aw dude I liked it better before you fixed it lol.

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]Testy1 wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

I would get phone records, pretty sure text messages can be pulled.

[/quote]

Not without a warrant. We tried with my daughters.
[/quote]
Thanks, never knew that.[/quote]

Can if you are the primary bill payer. Parents did it to my sister. My dad could pull the records to any phoneline under his name which was all of them. We were on the bill but his name was the one as the account holder.

[quote]jbpick86 wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]Testy1 wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

I would get phone records, pretty sure text messages can be pulled.

[/quote]

Not without a warrant. We tried with my daughters.
[/quote]
Thanks, never knew that.[/quote]

Can if you are the primary bill payer. Parents did it to my sister. My dad could pull the records to any phoneline under his name which was all of them. We were on the bill but his name was the one as the account holder.[/quote]
Could be a state thing? Different laws for this in different states.

[quote]T-Raven wrote:
I found out my wife has been texting and talking with her boss after hours. It’s been going on for about six weeks and she was hiding it from me. She says nothing hinky went on, that they were just friends and everything was above board. He has an EMT background and she is a nurse, so they had the medical field and those experiences in common.

She doesn’t have a lot of unaccounted for time, but they work twelve hour shifts together behind a security gate and she has a trailer, so who the hell knows. I love her, and i think she loves me, but when this broke i got drunk and told her to leave and we have been separated for a week. I want her, back but I don’t feel like I can trust her. [/quote]

Tell her that exactly. That you love her and don’t want to lose her but it really bothers you that she she has an extra curricular relationship with her boss that she tried to hide.

If they’re just friends why not let you know about it? If they’re just friends why hasn’t she invited him over?
Would you want to meet the guy?

My girlfriend is jealous of my female friends, and it caused some strain on our relationship in the early years. But now I just don’t kee too many friends that are female because I know it bothers her. Her love is more important to me than a friendship, and they stressed her out Alot.

You shouldn’t ask her to change. But she will if she really loves you and sees how important it is to you.

What is she getting from that relationship that she isn’t getting from yours?

We have to throw down a “worst case scenario.”

Your wife cheated on you with her boss. It happened. She admits it, feels horrible about it, and tells you how/why it happened, whatever emotional void she needed to fill, etc.

Can you get over this? Can you learn to trust her again? Do you love her enough to move on? If the answer is no, break it off now. If the answer is yes, there is a lot of work to be done for both of you to get back to a good place in your marriage, and she needs to find a new job.

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:
ooooook. having been in EMS, going into nursing and being in the field still with Lifeflight communications and watching everyone cheat on their spouses, or hook up, get divorced, etc…I can’t assume anything (as I don’t know her) but texting is the gateway drug. I text a lot of the guys I work with but I’m also one of the guys, and I am friends with their wives too. No need to text the boss after hours unless it is work-pertinent and impacts her in some way going in to her next shift. If you’re married, I think it’s ok to have friends of the opposite sex if you include your spouse in the friendship. when you’re married, you’re a package. [/quote]
This.

Plus the medical field and NURSES are the worse, in regards to fucking around and divorce.

Just saying.[/quote]

Hotels?

Tons of fuckingaroundery there too.

Btw, the “emotional cheating” that has occurred is what really matters here. Whether or not she actually succumbed to having sex with the guy is a minor point. She knew the road she was going down, whether or not she got to the end of it wouldn’t matter all that much to me. Because honestly, it always starts off as some innocent texting which progresses over the course of months and we all know how it ends up.

[quote]T-Raven wrote:
Not to sound like a lifetime movie, but I’m pretty crazy about her. I’m 49 and it’s not my first rodeo so i will survive either way, but i will miss the shit out of her. i just know it’s not gonna work if i can’t get by this. I know I might have overreacted by kicking her out, but I was tore up over the situation and I got drunker than a man should ever be. [/quote]

First, I think you got the point across pretty clearly that fuckingaroundery shall not be accepted.

Not even the whiff of it.

None of that lovey dovey understanding her motives BS.

Second, you seem to be alive and without brain damage, so you got as drunk as you needed to be.

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:
ooooook. having been in EMS, going into nursing and being in the field still with Lifeflight communications and watching everyone cheat on their spouses, or hook up, get divorced, etc…I can’t assume anything (as I don’t know her) but texting is the gateway drug. I text a lot of the guys I work with but I’m also one of the guys, and I am friends with their wives too. No need to text the boss after hours unless it is work-pertinent and impacts her in some way going in to her next shift. If you’re married, I think it’s ok to have friends of the opposite sex if you include your spouse in the friendship. when you’re married, you’re a package. [/quote]
This.

Plus the medical field and NURSES are the worse, in regards to fucking around and divorce.

Just saying.[/quote]

Hotels?

Tons of fuckingaroundery there too.

[/quote]
Dont know Orion.

I spent from 1992 until 2005 working in hospitals, there is a lot of fucking and cheating going on.

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]bdocksaints75 wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]T-Raven wrote:
I found out my wife has been texting and talking with her boss after hours. It’s been going on for about six weeks and she was hiding it from me. She says nothing hinky went on, that they were just friends and everything was above board. He has an EMT background and she is a nurse, so they had the medical field and those experiences in common.

She doesn’t have a lot of unaccounted for time, but they work twelve hour shifts together behind a security gate and she has a trailer, so who the hell knows. I love her, and i think she loves me, but when this broke i got drunk and told her to leave and we have been separated for a week. I want her, back but I don’t feel like I can trust her. [/quote]
Sorry mate; it’s probably what you think. :([/quote]
X2[/quote]
Aw dude I liked it better before you fixed it lol.[/quote]
It’s tough to post with my phone.