T Nation

Advice for a friend

Guys, I need some advice as to how to handle a friend of mine. She and I both go to college and this is her second semester and I think the problem of not going to class may have gotten her. I’m usually not one to pry but mutual friends have told me that she never shows up for any of her classes(including test days) and this worries me. Our friends may be exagerating and she may have only missed a week but I’m still concerned. We do have one class together and she hasn’t shown up for that one in a month, but its one of those classes that the teacher doesn’t care if you go to class. I did the same thing 2 years ago so I kinda know how you act when it happens. I asked her about it in a subtle manner and she said everything is fine. I’m just not sure whether or not to believe her. I guess the reason I’m so concerned about it is because this happened to my brother 2 straight semesters and he got really depressed after the second time and starting drinking way too much and too often and had a serious accident because of it. If you guys think I’m overreacting please let me know but if you believe there is legitimate concern and have some advice please let me know also. Take care guys.

depression can be the cause of this, even if she seems ‘ok’. does she use drugs at all? i’m not asking in relation to a ‘habit’ but some people who are bi-polar or just clinically depressed try to ‘self medicate’ with drugs and it just ends up screwing up the system even more. is she skipping class but attending other activities? that my be a good sign of weither she just doesn’t feel like going to class, or if the problem is deeper.

Thanks for chiming in Michelle. She drinks on the weekends and beyond that I couldn’t tell you anything and yeah she does other activities just not class. One weird thing that she’ll go hang with some of her friends in the quad on the same days she misses class. So she seems normal and upbeat enough but my brother did too for a little while. I guess I am overreacting a little but I can’t help it. Thanks again.

Well she’s obviously not interested in school anymore. Maybe she’s just there for the social life. Not much you can do about it, I don’t think. If she’s depressed maybe she should get help…but maybe she just doesn’t care to go to school…maybe she’s not the responsible college type.

Not to bust your balls, but let me guess - this chick is hot and you want to bang her? And your thinking of being Mr. “Rescue”. Hey its a possibility I’m wrong - in wchich case, much apologies.

I wonder if you’d be so concerned if she all of a sudden gained 50 pounds, shaved her head and got a bad case of herpes? If the answer is yes, then you are a true gentleman - much more than I. If the answer is no, you need to get your own life then stop worrying so damn much.

Matt, sorry to bring you down from your perch but she is most definitely not a girl I’m trying to get with you asshole. You’re right that I wouldn’t be watching just anyone and ensuring their well being, and she is kinda hot, but the fact that she had been dating my brother when he died last year makes her completely off limits to me. I realize that you didn’t know the whole story but damn you pissed me off. Next time you speak, try to realize that not everyone in this world is like you.