Advice About Ex....This Is Different

Have you tried hitting her?

[quote]Phoenix44e wrote:

[quote]roybot wrote:

[quote]Phoenix44e wrote:

[quote]roybot wrote:

[quote]Phoenix44e wrote:

[quote]roybot wrote:

[quote]Phoenix44e wrote:
So my buddy calls me the other day telling me that his wife wants to call my ex and tell her that she’s being cheated on.
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what?[/quote]

Why are they phoning you with the dirt? Based on your OP, it would be better coming from a female friend than from you, anyway.
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yeah so I kinda just summarized that for op lengthiness. My buddies wife and my ex are not friends. They might have met like 5 times over our relationship. So they’re def not friends, and I do not believe it would be a good thing for my ex to find out from her.
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Why not?[/quote]

I don’t think they really liked eachother. It was one of those “well, our bfs are friends so lets just be considerate to eachother”
So because of that I don’t think my ex would appreciate it coming from her when she knows that it could just as easily came from me…

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Didn’t you try that?

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When I started finding this information out about this guy I presented my concerns with my ex. But was quickly accused of trying to break up her relationship, bad mouth him, and one accusation even went as far to say I was doing this to get back with her. (really gotta love crazy single women who give advice to other girls…HAHAH) [/quote]


He’s clearly rocking her world or she wouldn’t put up with it. While I’m sure she appreciates your endless devotion, she much prefers taking his cock from ass to mouth while he calls her names, pisses on her face, and chokes her until she passes out in ecstasy. Sorry bro. The love of your life is a cum dumpster, and deserves whatever she gets.

Move on. Women are a dime a dozen, and unless she’s mother of your children the men your ex hangs out with should not concern you in the least. Free yourself. She is not your problem.

Mind your own business. She is your EX. Her life decisions are no longer your concern. Let it go. There is nothing to be gained by sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.

[quote]Phoenix44e wrote:

[quote]RampantBadger wrote:
Unless your currently dating an equally hot/hotter girl and she knows about it, whatever you say is going to look lke sour grapes[/quote]

SO I need to date a girl who she deems good looking to get her respect again? Is that why she asks me if I’m seeing anyone?
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Pretty much

[quote]jjackkrash wrote:
Orion isn’t always right. But he is this time. Its not your problem and its not your business. Move on.

If you feel the need to help someone, go give some unsolicited squatting/depth advice the 1/4 squatters at your gym. [/quote]

Orion isn’t always right, but when he is, he’s only sort of right but this time he’s actually right. Stay thirsty.

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]jjackkrash wrote:
Orion isn’t always right. But he is this time. Its not your problem and its not your business. Move on.

If you feel the need to help someone, go give some unsolicited squatting/depth advice the 1/4 squatters at your gym. [/quote]

Orion isn’t always right, but when he is, he’s only sort of right but this time he’s actually right. Stay thirsty.
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I agree that this is one of those rare occasions when orion is fully correct.

She has made herself clear about not wanting your involvement in her life. Move on.

EmilyQ and DebraD- If you were in her spot, are you telling me that you’d rather not know that there’s a good chance your current boyfriend is cheating on you, just because you’d have to find out from your ex?

[quote]Phoenix44e wrote:
EmilyQ and DebraD- If you were in her spot, are you telling me that you’d rather not know that there’s a good chance your current boyfriend is cheating on you, just because you’d have to find out from your ex?[/quote]

That’s impossible to answer, but I do know that when someone asks you to please butt out of their lives, that is exactly what you should do. Period.

Also, as an adult, gossip and drama are things you should get into the habit of avoiding. Conversations about what’s on “your ex’s boyfriend’s Facebook page” should be beneath you.

[quote]Phoenix44e wrote:
EmilyQ and DebraD- If you were in her spot, are you telling me that you’d rather not know that there’s a good chance your current boyfriend is cheating on you, just because you’d have to find out from your ex?[/quote]

Because My ex telling me would never lead to me knowing because, especially if I dumped him, he can’t be trusted. Telling anyone their significant other is cheating is full of risk because most people who don’t know already don’t want to know and will opt to shoot the messenger. It’s a pretty natural response and if someone’s bff would have trouble getting her to believe it, an ex who has ulterior motives (which you do) cannot be trusted for a second.

There’s also a rub in telling someone who dumped you that they moved on to a lemon. I’m sure that motivates you but it puts her in a shitty spot if she were to accept your gracious heroic help.

Ask yourself why you really want her to know this from you.

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Phoenix44e wrote:
EmilyQ and DebraD- If you were in her spot, are you telling me that you’d rather not know that there’s a good chance your current boyfriend is cheating on you, just because you’d have to find out from your ex?[/quote]

That’s impossible to answer, but I do know that when someone asks you to please butt out of their lives, that is exactly what you should do. Period.

Also, as an adult, gossip and drama are things you should get into the habit of avoiding. Conversations about what’s on “your ex’s boyfriend’s Facebook page” should be beneath you.[/quote]

Thanks for the advice. Usually I don’t partake in FB drama. I just felt like this situation was different. I know she asked me to butt out, but that was before the info came through via fb. She really has no way of seeing these pics so I don’t consider it creating drama. More like passing on important information.

Holy fuck Dude

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]Phoenix44e wrote:
EmilyQ and DebraD- If you were in her spot, are you telling me that you’d rather not know that there’s a good chance your current boyfriend is cheating on you, just because you’d have to find out from your ex?[/quote]

Because My ex telling me would never lead to me knowing because, especially if I dumped him, he can’t be trusted. Telling anyone their significant other is cheating is full of risk because most people who don’t know already don’t want to know and will opt to shoot the messenger. It’s a pretty natural response and if someone’s bff would have trouble getting her to believe it, an ex who has ulterior motives (which you do) cannot be trusted for a second.

There’s also a rub in telling someone who dumped you that they moved on to a lemon. I’m sure that motivates you but it puts her in a shitty spot if she were to accept your gracious heroic help.

Ask yourself why you really want her to know this from you.[/quote]

Thanks for the info. As for your first point, no one that’s friends with her knows. There’s actually only 3 people that could tell her and that would be me, my buddy, and his wife.

It’s not that I want her to know form me, because that’s not the case. There just isn’t anyone else that would be able to tell her other then the people I’ve already listed.

Whats your end game? If it is to get her back it is going to work. If it is to get information to a friend…you are not her friend you are her ex…your are going to look like an ass even if you are right. Your better end game is to be there to pick up the pieces if you really do care for her.

This sounds like a great educational opportunity. Go tell her and report back how it works out for you.

[quote]Phoenix44e wrote:
Thanks for the advice. Usually I don’t partake in FB drama. I just felt like this situation was different. I know she asked me to butt out, but that was before the info came through via fb. She really has no way of seeing these pics so I don’t consider it creating drama. More like passing on important information.
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If you actually read what you just wrote here, you’d realize it makes no sense whatsoever.

She asked you to leave her alone. The fact that her bf may be cheating on her/lying to her doesn’t influence this in any manner whatsoever.

I bet you a million internet dollars that your ex will blame you and hate you for life if anything bad comes out of this.

[quote]JCMPG wrote:
Whats your end game? If it is to get her back it is going to work. If it is to get information to a friend…you are not her friend you are her ex…your are going to look like an ass even if you are right. Your better end game is to be there to pick up the pieces if you really do care for her.[/quote]

End game would have been to tell someone I care about that there’s a chance that her bf is back with his ex, and not telling you.

Not sure if your first point is a general consensus of other posters here, but let me be clear.
I am not looking to “win” my ex back by telling her this info.

[quote]Phoenix44e wrote:
I am not looking to “win” my ex back by telling her this info.[/quote]

But you are. You just don’t know it.

Your OP reeks of it.

So, given that you’ve evidently made up your mind, what was your intention in starting this thread?

[quote]Phoenix44e wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]Phoenix44e wrote:
EmilyQ and DebraD- If you were in her spot, are you telling me that you’d rather not know that there’s a good chance your current boyfriend is cheating on you, just because you’d have to find out from your ex?[/quote]

Because My ex telling me would never lead to me knowing because, especially if I dumped him, he can’t be trusted. Telling anyone their significant other is cheating is full of risk because most people who don’t know already don’t want to know and will opt to shoot the messenger. It’s a pretty natural response and if someone’s bff would have trouble getting her to believe it, an ex who has ulterior motives (which you do) cannot be trusted for a second.

There’s also a rub in telling someone who dumped you that they moved on to a lemon. I’m sure that motivates you but it puts her in a shitty spot if she were to accept your gracious heroic help.

Ask yourself why you really want her to know this from you.[/quote]

Thanks for the info. As for your first point, no one that’s friends with her knows. There’s actually only 3 people that could tell her and that would be me, my buddy, and his wife.
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I don’t know if any of those 3 people should tell her. But the best or least bad out of those 3 to tell her would be the woman (your buddy’s wife). And according to your buddy, his wife wanted to tell her. The worst out of those 3 people to tell her would be you.

If the subject comes up again, maybe you should just tell your buddy that his wife should use her judgement and do what she thinks is best. Women usually understand other women better, anyway.

If the subject of your ex’s bf’s behavior with his ex-wife is not brought up again by your buddy or by his wife or by somebody else: do not be the one to bring it up.


The world is full of opportunities to make a positive difference. (Even just by attending to your mundane daily duties in a conscientious manner.)

This situation is not an opportunity for you to make a positive difference.