Hello dear t-nationers and t-nationettes!
I have come to off topic yet again to humbly seek your advice. And for anyone who warned me about this particular situation in my log , you were right and I was wrong , na na na foo foo.
Ok back story :
I’ve made a lot of friends in my office and it’s my happy place of socializing and escape from my bubble of solitude . I work from home most days, but was there for 5 months during training and occasionally go in during the month for meetings etc.
I made friends with this one fellow who seemed very nice. He liked working out and narcos and we had great conversations. He is married, but that didnt phase me because I’ve been in love with the same person I started a thread about titled “am I a bitch?” Sixish years ago.
This man we will call him bob . He was overly nice to me from the start and complimented me quite frequently. A lot of it seemed like he just had a great respect for me and my workouts , and my work ethic. I’m very ocd about work and I’m doing very well because of it.
Anyway, he and I started chatting more and more . Mostly goofy things sometimes gym talk , sometimes rap talk. I mentioned if I had super powers I’d want them to be lava because I like volcanoes. He got his artist friend to draw me as lava lady which was thoughtful , but almost too thoughtful because why would a married person do that for a single young gal in the office.
He read my mental health blog and it seemed like he created me as this very vulnerable character because of it. I express my anxiety and what not a lot in there , but that’s my therapy . That’s not my 24/7 . Anyway, he always acted like he wanted to rescue me from situations that I didnt need help with or tried to get me into this victim status so he could always be relied upon to save the day.
He worried about everything, just like if I mentioned I was tired. “Why!? Is everything okay?!”
When I started working from home he worried I’d become too isolated and wanted to go for a walk after my in office day so we did. It was fine , but unnecessary if it was for the sake of pity, which I cant really tell at this point .
He seemed to get too emotionally involved in my dating attempts and heartaches to the point where he lost sleep over someone ghosting me because it hurt my feelings .
It all started to weird me out so i stopped communicating with him and i found out his wife was due to give birth any day and he never told me she was pregnant.
When he got back from his two weeks off he was cold and distant and told me he was thinking or re thinking our friendship because I didnt welcome him back to work or message him enough while he was gone …
Now I said I wasn’t going to share personal things with him anymore because he reacted too strongly and we agreed it was for the best .
I reconnected with my ex (whom i mentioned at the beginning of this too long post) who is currently in prison and going to aa meetings and has put me down as a support to stay sober when he gets out.
Some people in the office must have mentioned at lunch i had a boyfriend because of this and he flipped out at me. Passive aggressive messages telling me he Hope’s this ones a keeper and all this weird crap.
Now to today’s stress of it all. He randomly deleted me off facebook and is very cold via work emails and IMs and what not. Not a huge deal, but hes a team lead and i do have to talk to him and see him occasionally in the office and this whole situation makes me quite uncomfortable. My job can be stressful and I dont need any of this weird drama, and I dont really know what to do about it. He seems to go out of his way to send me work emails in a very cold, stern tone just so I can be reminded hes upset with me. Hes like that a lot, passive aggressive and whatnot…
I dont want to hash this out because it’s all just too weird to even understand, but I’m not sure what to do just to make my work environment more enjoyable.
I want to be excited about my office visits again , not terrified .
Thanks for any advice , or at the very least thanks for letting me share.
All my love