T Nation

Addictions in the Past and How to Move Past Them

Where to start… When i was 16 i started smoking pot like most highschool kids.By 17-18 i was using alot of cocaine and mdma which lasted till i was about 21, sometimes i would buy a quarter ounce of blow and get high until it was all gone, id binge for days. I was depressed and consitering suicide. At that point in my life i decided to give it up and get serious about lifting weights, and going to church to help me become the person i believe im ment to be, although still dabbling with it on rare occasions i got to the point where i stayed clean for over a year with a few small fall backs since then. Fast forward to present day and ive been dealing with alot of depression and self conciousness to the point where some days i cant leave the house, this lead me to go back to my old self and this past week ive been doing speed every day just to feel alive and out going. Im currently on cycle as well and i know this is terrible for me and it needs to stop. I was doing so well with diet and training the past few years and have made incredible progress but i feel as if im slipping. Is there anybody who has been in a similar situation that can give me some advice?
Any input is appreciated as i have nobody in my life to talk to who will understand… its embarrassing.

Sorry to hear that. You’re not alone. Take it one day at a time.

There are addiction support groups that would probably be much more reliable than the internet.


Yeah, face to face is best. Whether it’s a therapist or someone in recovery, good things happen in person.

I’ve been sober since Oct. 2002. I’ve used 12 step meetings (AA & NA), and it has helped tremendously. Even with that, when life became exceptionally difficult, I also went to a therapist for a while. A lot of people I know do both.

There are people to talk to, but you have to do your part. At this point that is making initial contact and asking for help, which is probably the hardest part.

Take care. If there are any questions I can help with, feel free to ask.

Thanks for the response. I made some calls and found a councellor and were going to work through it


That is good to hear. Thanks for the follow up.

Not that listening to me is ever a good idea, but I went through a similar thing where I would go out and score whatever I could and then binge for days myself. The key, I’ve found, is to construct a life for yourself that drugs are not part of. I found that if I didn’t have something to look forward to, couldn’t see a future for myself, then I always ended up back on drugs. I hope you do well and I wish you the best of luck.


You only have one body. My moms organs are toast from raging alcoholism but enabled. Life is possible without self destructive behavior. Try it, laugh, smile it’s ok we all get tempted but even though an addiction, it is a disease. Drs, therapists etc can tell you what to do if you’re ready to listen. Just remember no regrets

One rep max was 45 lb bar included 190. I validated myself with some quality time focusing on growth and having fun