T Nation

Accused of Sexism

At work yesterday, a co-worker told me she didn’t like that I dismissed her suggestion on a project I’m working on. I told her to go whine to Oprah.

Today, I get called into the manager’s office and sitting in there is the equal opportunity representative. My co-worker has filed a complaint that I am sexist.

I told them that my reply to her may have not been the most tactful response, however, when swamped with work, who is pc 100% of the time. Sexist though?

Did you ask them why whining to oprah is a female-only thing? Did you say you were just busting her balls the same way you would your male co-workers, thereby treating her equally?

[quote]travis7 wrote:
At work yesterday, a co-worker told me she didn’t like that I dismissed her suggestion on a project I’m working on. I told her to go whine to Oprah.

Today, I get called into the manager’s office and sitting in there is the equal opportunity representative. My co-worker has filed a complaint that I am sexist.

I told them that my reply to her may have not been the most tactful response, however, when swamped with work, who is pc 100% of the time. Sexist though?[/quote]

It could have been worse.
I told a male manager once he was a retail whore…

I would counter them in that they imply that Oprah must be a female oriented show, thus themselves being sexist!

Then suggest they go tell it to Judge Joe Brown.

[quote]travis7 wrote:
At work yesterday, a co-worker told me she didn’t like that I dismissed her suggestion on a project I’m working on. I told her to go whine to Oprah.

Today, I get called into the manager’s office and sitting in there is the equal opportunity representative. My co-worker has filed a complaint that I am sexist.

I told them that my reply to her may have not been the most tactful response, however, when swamped with work, who is pc 100% of the time. Sexist though?[/quote]

Counter with the fact that she is being sexist, implying that only women go to Oprah, and that your comments must be sexist because only a man could act that way, and that she is implying that only women could make a stupid project proposal that deserves being made fun of.

But anyway, yeah you were not being very tactful, and it doesn’t help business much, if her idea was shite it would be better off going through it etc… and helping her out.

But business tends to be back-stabbing etc… it is more likely that someone would take her idea and credit for it, if it was good. If bad she can’t complain they made fun of it/her.

The bitch is on the rag. Don’t repeat that to your boss.

[quote]travis7 wrote:
At work yesterday, a co-worker told me she didn’t like that I dismissed her suggestion on a project I’m working on. I told her to go whine to Oprah.

Today, I get called into the manager’s office and sitting in there is the equal opportunity representative. My co-worker has filed a complaint that I am sexist.

I told them that my reply to her may have not been the most tactful response, however, when swamped with work, who is pc 100% of the time. Sexist though?[/quote]

should have slapped the bitch across the office, not allowing her back till she had baked you a pie.

[quote]allNatural wrote:
Did you ask them why whining to oprah is a female-only thing? Did you say you were just busting her balls the same way you would your male co-workers, thereby treating her equally?[/quote]

This was my first thought, too.

But aside from this incident, are you usually a sexist pig? Pig being the key word. Everyone’s sexist to some degree, but do you treat your female co-workers as inferior creatures?

[quote]S-Lifter wrote:
The bitch is on the rag. Don’t repeat that to your boss.[/quote]

LOL!

We are here at this site because we enjoy being physically & mentally men. A sad note is that we have allowed things like this to get out of hand. In our state if a female accuses a male of any type of sexual harrassment, and a zero tolerence policy is in effect, and investigation is had(this means a report is made) and man is fired. Further if the man files for unemployment, it is denied by the State.

I just finished working a situation where an ugly girl made an accusation against a man. None of the man’s co workers could believe he would do this with a good looker, let alone an ugly.
The conclusion is that the girl was having a bad day, the gentleman(and he is one) was trying to cheer her up. The man denies saying anything against the girl.

The Man is screwed, out of work, with a public record (with the state) of fired for Sexual Harrassment. His choice is to take out a mortgage to hire a lawyer. The lawyers say if he were female, pregnant, and not caucisan, they would have a winner. He does not “qualify” for a winner.

There needs to be a group, or attorney interest in standing up for men when silly girl attacks are made. Men, especially real testrone loaded men want to sluff this off, as not worth fighting for. Later they complain…
…we always get screwed… Defending your self in these cases gets very expensive, win-able but very expensive.

[quote]travis7 wrote:
At work yesterday, a co-worker told me she didn’t like that I dismissed her suggestion on a project I’m working on. I told her to go whine to Oprah.

Today, I get called into the manager’s office and sitting in there is the equal opportunity representative. My co-worker has filed a complaint that I am sexist.

I told them that my reply to her may have not been the most tactful response, however, when swamped with work, who is pc 100% of the time. Sexist though?[/quote]

First off, if you are not her boss, or in her chain of command, then there can be no EEO complaint. That EEO rep can go pound sand.

Sexual harassment is another thing. Whether or not your manager thinks your comments were justified or not is regardless. This woman feels you harassed her, the complaint was made and management is required to bring it to your attention.

I have a lot of experience in Labor Management Relations (LMR) so take some advice. You have been put on notice. Take notes of questionable comments this woman makes, whether it’s to you or to another co-worker. Dates and times are the best defense/offense.

With the PC world we live in today, you had better watch your ass.

Next time, try a little tact with your co-worker. I’m going out on a limb here and guess that there is a little more history here between the 2 of you. Maybe I’m wrong, but I bet you’ve been a little surly with her before. Am I right?

Look, we all make mistakes when dealing with people at work (or in general). Don’t play the victim here with the “whoa is me to be a man in this PC world”. Try to see it from her perspective and how you would react given the roles being reversed. Figure out how you could have handled it differently. Learn from the experience and put it behind you. Or don’t, and continue to have difficulties with your co-workers.

I’m not taking sides here, I’m just sharing what I’ve learned in 20 years of working in the real world.

DB

Find Terry Tate and get yourself an office linebacker.

I doubt very much will come of it though. Yes, due to an accusation being made they’ll have to review the situation but I doubt much will come of it other than a wrist slapping for being rude to a co-worker.

[quote]travis7 wrote:
My co-worker has filed a complaint that I am sexist.
[/quote]

What a c*nt.

I really think she’s whining, manipulating and being unfair, but with today’s laws, you may be in for some trouble. Obtain a lawyer to protect your rights.

My opinion. When women use the sexist card, minorities use the race card, etc… in such a hypersensitive manner, it truly is an abuse of the system. This is coming from the daughter of a long-time, hard-ass labor union leader.

Sure, blatant sexual harassment and/or discrimination has no place in the Workplace. If my male boss told me that I would lose my job if I didn’t have sex with him, first I’d knock him out, second I would have him fired.

But if my male boss promoted my male coworker because he had more education and years of experience, I’d shake the guy’s hand…a lot of people would use the minority/race/religion issue in those cases to get the job from a more qualified competitor, which truly undermines your own credibility and reputation as a competent professional. FAIR competition keeps us all on our toes and ensures we are doing the best we can and living to our full potential.

I think that in this case, the sexism plea was taken too far. Sexism is more along the lines of “hey toots, you wanna come tootsie roll in my lap”

what he said does not necessarily have to apply to a woman.

[quote]chinadoll wrote:
travis7 wrote:
My co-worker has filed a complaint that I am sexist.

What a c*nt.

I really think she’s whining, manipulating and being unfair, but with today’s laws, you may be in for some trouble. Obtain a lawyer to protect your rights.

My opinion. When women use the sexist card, minorities use the race card, etc… in such a hypersensitive manner, it truly is an abuse of the system. This is coming from the daughter of a long-time, hard-ass labor union leader.

Sure, blatant sexual harassment and/or discrimination has no place in the Workplace. If my male boss told me that I would lose my job if I didn’t have sex with him, first I’d knock him out, second I would have him fired.

But if my male boss promoted my male coworker because he had more education and years of experience, I’d shake the guy’s hand…a lot of people would use the minority/race/religion issue in those cases to get the job from a more qualified competitor, which truly undermines your own credibility and reputation as a competent professional. FAIR competition keeps us all on our toes and ensures we are doing the best we can and living to our full potential.[/quote]

Unfortunately there are a lot of selfish assholes around so you either have to cover your own ass or get yourself a deck of cards.

I don’t know about sexist, but telling a co-worker-female or male-to go whine to Oprah is a pretty stupid and pointless thing to say. Filing a complaint about it though is a total overeaction.

Tactless - Yes

Sexist - No

File a counter-complaint.

[quote]jsbrook wrote:
Filing a complaint about it though is a total overeaction.
[/quote]

It’s the American way.

just cut her brake lines and be done with it. remember to cut your own brake lines as well, it will make you look innocent. fuck it, cut everybodies brake lines, and be ready for a new position or two to open up. :wink: