Trust your gut.
There are many shit stains out there who unfortunately happen to be board certified. He is being "flippant" and "evasive" because he either does not know or doesn't really care.
Glad to hear.
This debate (not just for you but for anyone who is on the fence regarding surgery) can be polarizing. Therefore, I want to add a few more thoughts on the subject.
Too often, people find themselves in a revolving door of weight room to surgery to weight room to surgery due to:
a) Incompetent PT. Indeed, I suspect there are many surgeons out there that exploit this in order to create a paper trail of failed PT visits. They can leverage this to justify surgery to the patient and insurance companies.
b) Non-compliant patient. The PT can be very knowledgeable and caring; yet if the patient simply goes through the motions and ignores the advice of the PT, well...of course the success rate diminishes.
c) Neglecting the all-important bridge from rehab (i.e. what you're doing with your PT) to the weight room. This is not usually the patient's fault. In other words, even if you get the green light from the PT, it is EXCEPTIONALLY dangerous to jump right back into what you've been doing prior to the injury. Most PTs I've encountered are relatively competent in terms of rehab. However, they are woefully inadequate in designing a solid stength/conditioning program AFTER the PT sessions have run their course. A first rate PT and a first rate strength/conditioning Coach take similar yet different skill sets.
Obviously, there are injuries traumatic enough where surgery is the only logical option.
However, if someone comes to me and gives a history of injury in one shoulder, has surgery, then later has a similar injury in the other shoulder, I strongly suspect there have been incorrect programming which led to the second surgery.
In other words, after the first surgery, something should have been revised in order to allow the patient to continue in his goals without aggravating the opposing side.
To give an example, I consulted a woman last week that fits this description to a T. She's in her mid 30s, college educated professional. In her early 20s, she made the classic mistake of taking up marathons in order to stay slim. By the time she was in her late 20's, she was diagnosed with degenerative meniscus in her right knee.
What did she do...? She took up half marathons, this time using different models of shoes and various types of braces.
And how is she doing now...? In addition to complaining about being slim but having no muscle tone (shocker, I know), she is having issues with her left knee.
It's easy to be on the outside and see the fallacy of her reasoning. However, when you're the one that's in a world of hurt, it's difficult to be objective. So I advise you to do what's necessary to maintain that objectivity as you navigate through this.
At this point, it appears to me that surgery on your shoulder is still in the elective stage. Therefore, as I stated in an earlier post, explore all viable options. And as I stated in this post, absolutely respect that bridge from the PT visits to what you do in the weight room.
Otherwise, you will be just another card-carrying member of the those who could have addressed a surmountable problem before it became insurmountable.