T Nation

Abortion, legal issues

First of all, please don’t come at me with your moral issues. I don’t need them. Heres the deal, my girlfriend got pregnant in November, she flew down to visit while I was working away. Well, on January 3rd she went to the clinic to have an abortion performed (or so we thought) while I was still away. I didn’t see her again until January 21st. A month or so later shes pregnant again. So at the earliest date she could be pregnant from was Jan.21st. Now, today June 20 a different doc(planned parenting) does an ultra sound and says shes over 24 weeks pregnant and can’t do this procedure. You still following?? Is there anyway this could be possible or maybe the Dr. is wrong. The new Dr. is checking into records to look over the procedure. What the legal ramifications for the first Dr. if the procedure wasn’t performed correctly or not at all? Are there any states that perform late term abortions? I know theres always adoption, but I don’t know if I could live with the guilt. This would be my first and I don’t think I can give it away. The reason we can’t keep it is she already has two kids from another relationship and we CAN’T afford it right now (dead beat dad). Believe me, I would if I could. Anyways, thanks guys I really needed to vent. Gotta go, I got a headache. BTW PLEASE only respond if you have something helpful to say.

She’s pregnant for six months and doesn’t know it? That seems very odd, especially for a woman who has given birth twice before. Are you positive that you are being told the whole truth here?

You don’t have a problem KILLING your kid, but giving him/her to a loving home would cause you guilt. Just go hang yourself before you do the world any more damage.

Your GF isn’t telling you something. Sounds like the best thing to do at this point is to look into adoption. Hey, I’m as ProChoice as the next person, but at 24-weeks, that’s REALLY late.

Hmmmm… 24 weeks puts it at the END of November. What was the estimate of the age at the first abortion procedure (they do this as part of the procedure)? Of course there’s error in the estimate (it IS an estimate, after all). But maybe there’s another sperm donar in the mix? As for late term abortion – that’s going to be pretty hard on the woman. The chances of complications go up geometrically. On another note – if people waited until they could AFFORD to have children, then the earths population would be WELL under what it is now. Sack up, keep YOUR child.

Dude, I have nothing useful to say. But I wish you the best luck. This is going to be very stressful (like you didn’t know). If the first doctor actually CLAIMED to have do the deed (ie. your g/f is not lying like some may think), then you have a helluva lawsuit. And I’d say sue the bastard.

Cripes. This is a lot. Good luck.

Fetuses have been known to survive abortions. If it can be proven that the doctor knowingly didn’t perform the abortion, most likely he’d get into a little trouble, but not much. You face serious malpractice problems only when you cause trauma to the patient (in general), and it would be difficult to show that your girlfriend suffered trauma. It doesn’t make sense that the abortion hasn’t been performed though… if it hadn’t been, she’d be almost 9 months along. January to June is also 6 months, so everything adds up. You might want to try depo or the pill or something, in the future.

brider, maybe I’m not up on my pregnancy math here, but how does 24 weeks (6 months) put her getting pregnant at the end of November?
24 weeks from the 2nd of December would be the second to last week of May this year.

Your a murderer and an asshole. Try taking some responsibility in your life and raise a kid decent instead of killing them because you are to big a pussy to handle responsibilty. BTW…ever heard of rubbers? I have no sympathy for you. Write again when you have found your balls.

Good call. My bad. Still, the 24 weeks puts it right at first of January. Math just doesn’t add up on this one.

Have you considered an open adoption…

I would think the Dr. who performed the abortion the first time is liable if he screwed up. If that is true, we are talking MAJOR damages. You could easily find out about that by asking her for the paperwork from the Dr and going to a lawyer who specializes in malpractice… there are a million in the phone book.

I believe New York does 'partial birth' abotions in the second tri-mester, but you're cutting it close. NO abortion is legal if the child could live on it's own, and medicine is getting much better about keeping premies alive so that cut off date is slowly creeping back.

That said.... mistakes happen ONCE, not twice. Something else is going on here. What is your birth control method and why has it failed twice? One or both of you is being VERY irresponsible here.

If you truly can't afford the child, adoption is probably your best option. There are literally hundreds of couples in any given city waiting to get 'unwanted' children. Some agencies will allow visitation with the birth parents, some will not. Stop thinking for yourself and think for you child. (If this was your best friend, what would you tell him/her to do? Try to step back from your own emotions to help make a decision. Counseling may be a good idea.)

This has GOT to be a joke post. NO COUPLE would have uncontracepted sex a few weeks after an abortion to get rid of an unwanted pregnancy. James sounds like the town idiot and she must be the town whore, or at least he makes her sound that way. What the world needs is less abortions and more lobotomies for the James’s of the world and involuntary sterilizations for the town whores.

See a lawyer. But first, make sure you’re being told the entire truth by your woman. I’m no expert in medical malpractice, but one would assume there is some test that should be run at the end of an abortion to make certain that it was actually successful, and that any doctor conforming to the normal standard of care would perform such a test.

On a personal note, I would urge you to consider adoption at this point, especially as you can often get adoptive parents to cover medical expenses. Beside, I know in your heart you wouldn’t want a partial-birth abortion performed on your viable or almost-viable child.

I completely agree with Pat on this one!!! Good call!!

First of all, to those who answered with CONSTRUCTIVE critisizm, thank you. To the rest of you, if I’m an idiot then you guys are obviously illiterate or have some type of reading dysfunction. Your opinions on abortion don’t concur with mine (or the laws) so, no I am not a murderer. Anyways, the DR. already has malpractice suites against him for making women sterile and is still under investigation. For all you smart guys,…no she didn’t know that we she went. Secondly, she was down to visit the weekend before Thanksgivng. That was when the orginal conception occured. So, yes that would put us over twenty-four weeks. If she is over 24 weeks indeed we are going to keep the baby. Third, she was on the shot in Nov. however it was only a couple of weeks after the first one. I am told that then would be the best chances for conception. Birth control, no matter how low the percentage there still is a percent. Depo is what 99%. So for all you math wizards out there. That means one out of every one hundred women on Depo can concieve. I have thought of the entrapment issue (her getting me)it is possible and we wil have that talk. One last thing, for the window licking kid who said she was a whore. You don’t know me nor her so your personal attacks were unwarranted. Next time fuck nutz try to come up with something better than she must be the town whore and your the idiot. You’re a real smart one. BTW I have donated sperm once before, how do you think you got here.

James you said in your last post that Because you didn’t “believe” that abortion is wrong its not wrong. I suppose your one of those left-wing pussies, who thinks that nothing is wrong unless you “feel” it is…So I guess if you blow goats, its ok as long as YOU “feel” its alright. UGH!!! I am so sick of people like you!! Abortion is the KILLING of a young unborn person, so yes you are responsable for the killing, which would make you a murderer…I dont give a fat rats ass what the law or your sense of right and wrong is. Put your cock away, and you wont have that problem you irresponsible FUCK!

“I’ve donated sperm before” … heh, I’m stealing that one.

Not traumatic? Becoming a father is one of the most traumatic things that has ever happened to me. If this doctor charged money to do an abortion, he is surely liable for the consequences. Heck, get this guy to pay to raise your kid. Everyone wins. Er, except him. Good luck, guy.

Wow. I can’t believe this thread! A baby at 24 weeks is a viable human being, James. For your mental health and that of your girlfriend, urge her to see the pregnancy to the end and then give the child up for adoption if you both truly do not feel you can raise the child. Preemies are kept alive as early as 20 weeks these days. An abortion now would be murder. A child delivered now would have more health complications. You both need to think about someone other than yourselves at this point. I find it completely astounding that in this age of such varied choice in contraception and such knowledge of the results of carelessness in the bedroom, that people can still get themselves into such predicaments. It is unbelievable.

Actually, I didn’t say that I “feel” anything. What I said was that your opinion differs from mine and the laws (please reread). If you’ve read any of my other posts you would know that I lean more to the right on my politics. I have served my country honorably(Marine) and I work hard for not enough money, but I’m a liberal pussy. Okay, you internet tough guy you. Calling names is a real mature way to make your point. You might get taken a little more seriously if you upped your writing composition. To Pat-You’re right, at this point abortion isn’t really an option any more. I just really wanted to see what everyone elses opinions on a legal case would be. I’m not an idiot, and we are weighing all of our options carefully. We would really like to keep it, but if not we’re just trying to find him/her a good home. One more thing, I’m the asshole, huh. When I’m helping to raise some other assholes kids who doesn’t pay for shit! Yea, I’m immature and irresponsible.