5.0 much appreciated.
Same to you sapasion.
Yeah, it’s me, obviously. I was just kind of picking up on the latest trend here in the forum, just for the hell of it. It’s really no big deal to out me, any idiot who read my thread knows exactly what’s up. Just kind of playing with words I guess you could say.
It’s not a matter of her not appreciating my patriotism, it’s the matter of spending her life with someone whose training and instruction is explicitly to make himself a more deadly weapon. The fact I am willing to kill and be killed for something I hold dear disturbs not only her, but a lot of people. Suffice it to say, she has no knowledge of my previous military service and I intend to keep it that way; she simply has no need to know and it would result in a lot of questions I wouldn’t even answer to people that don’t know me-- one of the most popular of which goes something along the lines of, “so how many people did you kill when you were over there?” Some people just don’t get it, I’m sure Contrl knows what I mean. The way I look at it though, is that I would much rather have a life in which there is something I am willing to kill and be killed for as opposed to leading a life where that does not exist and therefore be nothing but a wretch with little to live for. A lot of people say they would die for something, but simply dying for a cause does little to nothing, if anything it depletes one’s cause’s numbers. On the other hand, many have found it takes much more conviction to a cause to be willing and ready to take another’s life as opposed to laying down one’s own.
All of that is basically what stimulated the hiatus of our romantic relationship. That, in conjunction, with the fact her cousin also served in the same branch I have previously and am re-entering. HE entered under slightly different circumstances-- namely with the judicial pressure related to narcotics charges. Suffice it to say the bastard had substance abuse problems going in (heroin mainly), remained clean while in, saw combat, came out and lived with his parents at 27. Since then he has gotten back on his same old road and been found passed out with a needle in his arm multiple times. And the bastard goes and blames it on his overseas duties. That’s just bullshit and I refuse to accept it, the fucker never has been clean, was forced to be clean for 4 years, and just couldn’t wait to get his fix and somehow manage to blame it on the period of his life when he was actually a contributing member of society as opposed to the puke piece of shit leech he is now. Seeing how he was the only individual that served in my branch she had experience with, I can somewhat understand why she’d get a sour taste in her mouth about it all. What I have reminded her of though is the fact that he is who he is and I am who I am. All the training in the world will never change that, too bad for him really. Only reason will prevail.
Do I think she’s pregnant? Absolutely not. I know for a fact I was nowhere near ejaculation, esp. seeing how we got interrupted just a few minutes after we had started. That in conjunction with the fact I had been choking the chicken multiple times that day and damn near everyday of my cycle makes it highly unlikely. Statistically it’s looking like she’s not pregnant. At the same time, being an elite warrior and leaving a child behind does not bode well with me. If she’s pregnant, then she is, and I will definitely do my part because it is simply the right thing to do, not because of guilt or anything like that. If I have a child it would be not only reckless, but plain wrong for me to train for combat and possibly enter combat with the chance existing that I may not come back. It’s hard for me to respect people who knowingly and willingly step into an environment where widows are created. The true sacrifice there is not the soldier’s, but rather the spouse and children they leave behind.
However, due to a phone call I recently ended with her, I do believe she will be taking some medication later today that will clear things up either way. Personally I think she mis-calculated when she was due. If her last period lasted till March 10, then she is not due for several more days, but the medication will “jump start” her cycle.
After our lengthy conversation, we might actually be in the process of patching things up. Regardless if we do or we don’t, we are both changed individuals because of each other, there is no doubt of that. Reason will prevail and only time will tell.
My main point in doing this out in the open was to do exactly that-- make it out in the open. This is a rather large issue for me obviously and could possibly be an issue for other members as well. I think it’s a good place to discuss past experiences and whatnot regarding matters such as these.
What have I learned? WEAR THE FUCKING RUBBER EVEN THOUGH THEY MAKE YOUR TALLYWACKER STICKY AND TASTE BAD TO YOUR GIRL!!! HAHA