Stop the 'drene, horrible stuff - like speeds, weaker, cheaper, brasher, harsher cousin, and speed is a kid you dont wanna know…
It sounds to me like it is a simple case of burning out - drugs or no drugs.
You were training a lot, often dieting, using god knows what stimulants and insulin sensitivity drugs and anabolics to maintain and build more, while rugby training and matches and work and wife… and kids? dog? extended family? you get the drift.
Some people can continue on a path like that for many years - others for not even as long as you. I believe you have come to the end of this particular phase of your particular drug therapy my friend.
Whatever you choose next will either involve more drugs, different drugs or none at all… i suggest the latter.
I usually believe the most obvious answer to be the most likely.
I am currently using many medications prescribed by myself and by others BECAUSE of drug use by myself. I highly suggest you get off most all the substances you need, and while you will feel crap - ride it out. Sometimes that is all that is needed.
Possibly keep the test OR use DHEA and moda… to “taper” somewhat, follow BBB’s advice on that for sure.
I am currently undergoing a short sharp withdrawal from drug abuse of a particalar favourite, that simply needs to be done. simple as.
Ephidrene has set off the cascade of events now and the best thing you can do is remove it and get by HOWEVER the fuck you can.
If you use any drugs, sometimes you need to be held accountable for their actions on you.
JMO - Take care my friend, i hope you feel better soon i truly do.