[quote]Sonny S wrote:
What he was doing was trying to cement his superior status to me, and trying to impose his frame of mind and way of thinking on me. [/quote]
What it comes down to is that through no fault of this guy’s, you feel inferior around him. (Most likely because indeed, you are inferior.) So then you’ve felt inferior for a long time and finally you’ve just gone batty and started making up shit to justify getting away from this superior person who you can’t help but compare yourself to and measure up pitifully short. So now you’ve turned on him and started trying to find any possible fault with him that you can. That he’s narcissitic is a nice one that works basically for anyone who doesn’t hate theirself. So now that after a careful search you’ve found some unforgivable fault in him, you can get the hell away from him without feeling guilty.
Generally speaking, relationships have to be equal. If one person dominates, then it just isn’t going to work very well. In this case you have been dominated, and you should indeed slink off in the manner in which you are doing. Your poor “friend” just doesn’t understand that you are too far below him to bother with. He’s been far too nice by hanging out with you in the first place.
[quote]NateN wrote:
Break up with him in a diner like Jerry did on Seinfeld. Just don’t cave like Jerry did when he starts crying.[/quote]
I agree here. This whole thing is very strange. Why should he have to break up with his former friend? Christ. This isnt his girlfriend. If you dont want to hang out with this guy anymore, dont. No need to set up an official appointment and discuss feelings. If he calls just tell him the truth - you dont want to go out. Let time pass; you’ll begin to forget why you started to dislike him. He’ll be less annoying the less times you see him.
[quote]Jay Sherman wrote:
What it comes down to is that through no fault of this guy’s, you feel inferior around him. (Most likely because indeed, you are inferior.) So then you’ve felt inferior for a long time and finally you’ve just gone batty and started making up shit to justify getting away from this superior person who you can’t help but compare yourself to and measure up pitifully short. So now you’ve turned on him and started trying to find any possible fault with him that you can. That he’s narcissitic is a nice one that works basically for anyone who doesn’t hate theirself. So now that after a careful search you’ve found some unforgivable fault in him, you can get the hell away from him without feeling guilty.
Generally speaking, relationships have to be equal. If one person dominates, then it just isn’t going to work very well. In this case you have been dominated, and you should indeed slink off in the manner in which you are doing. Your poor “friend” just doesn’t understand that you are too far below him to bother with. He’s been far too nice by hanging out with you in the first place.[/quote]
[quote]Al Shades wrote:
Jay Sherman wrote:
What it comes down to is that through no fault of this guy’s, you feel inferior around him. (Most likely because indeed, you are inferior.) So then you’ve felt inferior for a long time and finally you’ve just gone batty and started making up shit to justify getting away from this superior person who you can’t help but compare yourself to and measure up pitifully short. So now you’ve turned on him and started trying to find any possible fault with him that you can. That he’s narcissitic is a nice one that works basically for anyone who doesn’t hate theirself. So now that after a careful search you’ve found some unforgivable fault in him, you can get the hell away from him without feeling guilty.
Generally speaking, relationships have to be equal. If one person dominates, then it just isn’t going to work very well. In this case you have been dominated, and you should indeed slink off in the manner in which you are doing. Your poor “friend” just doesn’t understand that you are too far below him to bother with. He’s been far too nice by hanging out with you in the first place.
This whole thread is sounding a little gay. You sound like a high schooler trying the old “I want to dump him, but not hurt his feelings” routine.
If you are at the stage of sitting down with someone and telling them that you never want to hang out with them again, the friendship is long dead. Given that, why would you care what he thinks after you two have “broken up”? I’m actually a little confused as to why there is any problem at all.
A few things have changed in my life and I have had to break away from some people. Thats how I explained it to them too. Regardless of how they responded, that was it. I did it out of respect for them and made that clear.
But this guy sounds different. He seems to have some serious defense mechanisms working, and even if he does realize why you aren’t around anymore, those thoughts will quickly be squashed. Don’t lose any sleep over this one, he sure as hell won’t.
[quote]Jay Sherman wrote:
nephorm wrote:
I’ve had it happen to me.
It’s childish and immature to end a friendship of multiple years without a real explanation. It’s one thing if you’ve been telling him for a long time that certain things piss you off, and he’s continued to do them. It’s another if you just up and decide one day that gee, this guy isn’t worth my talking to him ever again. That’s low.
Yeah. It sounds like something a bitch would do. Sounds pretty fucking gay coming from a guy. [/quote]
Sucking another guys dick is gay. Unless they are talking about sucking each others dicks, I don’t think this is gay.
The problem is that I didn’t want to burn any bridges, I wanted him to understand that though we’re friends, we’re not going to hang out much anymore.
Ideally, a couple of times a year.
There’s no reason for me to tell him to f%ck off, he didn’t do anything that warranted that. He’s a good person, I just can’t stand his negativity and ego anymore.
There’s people in life that drag you down, and others that lift you up.
He was dragging me down.
[quote]Massif wrote:
This whole thread is sounding a little gay. You sound like a high schooler trying the old “I want to dump him, but not hurt his feelings” routine.
If you are at the stage of sitting down with someone and telling them that you never want to hang out with them again, the friendship is long dead. Given that, why would you care what he thinks after you two have “broken up”? I’m actually a little confused as to why there is any problem at all.[/quote]
You know, I could call you Gay Sherman and tell you to go spoon with Al Shades but instead, I’ll be superior to you and simply say, thanks for your opinion.
[quote]Jay Sherman wrote:
Sonny S wrote:
What he was doing was trying to cement his superior status to me, and trying to impose his frame of mind and way of thinking on me.
Let him feel superior, that’s his only way of thinking and dealing with the world. Its no reflection upon me.
What it comes down to is that through no fault of this guy’s, you feel inferior around him. (Most likely because indeed, you are inferior.) So then you’ve felt inferior for a long time and finally you’ve just gone batty and started making up shit to justify getting away from this superior person who you can’t help but compare yourself to and measure up pitifully short. So now you’ve turned on him and started trying to find any possible fault with him that you can. That he’s narcissitic is a nice one that works basically for anyone who doesn’t hate theirself. So now that after a careful search you’ve found some unforgivable fault in him, you can get the hell away from him without feeling guilty.
Generally speaking, relationships have to be equal. If one person dominates, then it just isn’t going to work very well. In this case you have been dominated, and you should indeed slink off in the manner in which you are doing. Your poor “friend” just doesn’t understand that you are too far below him to bother with. He’s been far too nice by hanging out with you in the first place.[/quote]