T Nation

A Sweaty Ass?

It has been unseasonable warm here for the past few days. For that reason, I get terrible sweats in my crotch and ass (swampass or swass as i’ve called it). Anyway, not only is it uncomfortable, it doesn’t just smell like any regular sweat.

It smells much worse and on my ass much more like crap than sweat. Thankfully the smell isn’t all that strong, but it still annoys the hell out of me. It even happens when I am at a comfortable temperature sometimes. Any of you experience this? and if so what have you done to correct it?

Just wear two pairs of boxers/briefs (just thought about it, do you refer to boxers as a pair of boxers? like jeans?) underneath. I do this before I go workout because I will smell really bad, especially leg day.

Here is a tip, after you shit, wipe your ass better… Better yet use water, or baby wipes, that should clean up the sweat that smells like “crap”.

[quote]aznt0rk wrote:
Here is a tip, after you shit, wipe your ass better… Better yet use water, or baby wipes, that should clean up the sweat that smells like “crap”.[/quote]

Baby wipes are your friend, period.

Public schools don’t teach hygiene in gym class anymore?

son my swass is out of control, like if im walkng for mad long i have to talk a bathroom trip just to wipe my ass.

the combination of having a big ass and eating tons of food is atrocious

Wipe better after shitting and clean your asshole in the shower.

Might look into under armour underwear? Expensive though.

As a man with a large rear and a widely known hungry bum (bum that eats boxers and shorts)… sweat is evil.

Baby powder dude. baby powder

lol@ hungry bum

All great responses. Just gotta deal with it however you can.

These have been mentioned, but I’ll back 'em up:

Periodic wipings
Baby Powder
Asshole cleansing in shower (Gross, but clean!)

If you’re so bold, I HAVE known one guy who’s SWASS was out of control during the summer and would walk around with a clump of toilet paper in his A to B connection. Never tried it, but it seems like it’d work.

Get your wifey, girlfriend, mother, whatever to shave your ass and you won’t get the Klingons that melt down when you work out. I hate a greasy wipe before i go to the gym.

[quote]FatCityCobras wrote:
Get your wifey, girlfriend, mother, whatever to shave your ass and you won’t get the Klingons that melt down when you work out. I hate a greasy wipe before i go to the gym.[/quote]

Shaving the ass is a horrible idea. I really don’t feel like describing why though.

Bad idea.

Certainly not with a blade razor, an electric trimmer

[quote]FatCityCobras wrote:
Certainly not with a blade razor, an electric trimmer[/quote]

Not even that, it’s what you’re left with after. The sweaty smoothness of your ass cheeks slipping and sliding when you walk. The lack of any hair to possibly absorb a tad of sweat. Worst of all, the stubbles that when they regrow feel more like spiked tree trunks rubbing against each other.

Do not

hilarious thread!!! baby wipes after shitting, and baby powder if you’re gonna be sweating

Nice advice. I do some of those things. I do make sure my ass is clean both after wiping and showering. It even happens after I shower. Within about two hours or so. I have done the baby powder, but thats only when I’ve gone out. I’ll try babywipes. This thread is actually pretty hilarious.

[quote]Boyder326 wrote:
Nice advice. I do some of those things. I do make sure my ass is clean both after wiping and showering. It even happens after I shower. Within about two hours or so. I have done the baby powder, but thats only when I’ve gone out. I’ll try babywipes. This thread is actually pretty hilarious.[/quote]

Swamp ass is no joke!!

Really, all these guys making jokes don’t get it. I know the problem. It’s wierd, embarassing as hell, and sucks all to hell. Khakis and light colored pants are out. It is a real problem, and being nervous about it only makes it worse.
Ask you doctor for a script for drysol, it works great, but it will chap the hell out of your crack. That and black pants are the answer.

BTW: Cleanliness does not have a single fucking thing to do with it. It is some peoples physiological response to stress. Some get it in the pits, some get the crack, some both.

It’s a good way to get people the fuck away from whatever station you want to use though ha.

[quote]40&Big wrote:
Really, all these guys making jokes don’t get it. I know the problem. It’s wierd, embarassing as hell, and sucks all to hell. Khakis and light colored pants are out. It is a real problem, and being nervous about it only makes it worse.
Ask you doctor for a script for drysol, it works great, but it will chap the hell out of your crack. That and black pants are the answer.

BTW: Cleanliness does not have a single fucking thing to do with it. It is some peoples physiological response to stress. Some get it in the pits, some get the crack, some both.[/quote]

Yes, but would rectal cleansing not take away the stench of arse? I can see a wet streak down your crack being humiliating but at least it wouldn’t smell bad.

If all else fails put one of them hanging car fresheners between your cheeks.