Today we chronicle a 20 minute long investigation (I’m lazy, okay?) into the claims of one GERRY.P.SHARMAN, aka Jerry Sharman, aka Icy Cold Stuntaz 412.
For those of you previously unaware with the existence of our dear friend, he is quite fond of discussing pressing social issues!
It’s also interesting to note that he’s an engineer who doesn’t understand the principle of proportion in mathematics, or basic social conditioning which is taught in any pop psychology class.
And, we get to the meat of it, the claims about the state of his physical fitness.
Since Gerry has refused repeatedly to share his picture with us, where he actually trains in Colorado or his age, I thought I’d atleast share the photo for him. You know, to help. I’d like to thank the person who found this for me, he’d like to remain anonymous because he doesn’t want to waste his time with this (I have no problem wasting my time, however), but most of you would know him.
Now, now, how do we know this our dear friend Jerry?
Well, he did post this.
Whoopsee. JP instead of GP. Jerry instead of Gerry.
How do we know the photo is from someone in Denver? And why did I mention that whole engineer thing?
Thrilled you asked!
Scroll down. They’re based in Denver. Snap.
So Jerry, in the spirit of the Real Men of Genius commercials (he is an engineer, you know), I thought I’d modify one of their little diddies as a tribute. I leave you with this:
Dweezil presents… Real Men of Genius
(real men of genius)
Today I salute you, Mr. Blowhard Internet Racist Weightlifter
(mr. blowhard internet racist weightlifter)
Not content with being a white, old, balding ‘scuba diving expert’ with a deep understanding of black culture, you decided to post about your 585 pound squat and 14% bodyfat at 5’6", 240 pounds. If you’ve got it, flaunt it online is your motto, which is ironic; because you haven’t got it
(what were you thinking?)
You think this sounds natural, but it couldn’t seem phonier if your username was NotGoHeavyFool
(couldn’t fool a blind man)
Ah, the sound of a structural inspections engineer living in Denver talking about rap music. Sure, you know absolutely nothing, but we know even less
(I was breakdancing to gangsta rap before you were born, junior)
Who needs reality? You’re posting on the internet, and you’re using your massive penis to do wrist curls right now
(gotta keep the grip strong)
Although you’re always wrong, you’ll always have your 455 pound bench
(not today, grandpa)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Malcolm X, because judging by the homoerotic stylings of your awesome mustache, you really put the hole in asshole