T Nation

A Little Rant About Life


#41

Hi and thanks for joining the thread, if I feel like talking to somebody I’ll hit you up so we can have a chat.

I was blown by two girls this week (3 times by one lol) and I even casually made out with another girl right in front of my ex Saturday night. I also have a date set up for this Friday with a girl that’s been talking about Ms endlessly to a mutual friend ever since I’ve been free. So I guess I’m kinda doing that.

Still, when I think about all of this, I feel maybe a little insecure about having had sex with only 2 girls. Sure thing, I went as far as foreplay with some (ten maybe), and with a percentage of them it was me that just didn’t have the desire to go further. I could very, very easily fuck those two girl that blew me but I feel like I’m just not that attracted to them.

So who knows if I would be able to “fuck as many girls as possible” even if I tried…

Anyway, yesterday I finally had my first appointment with a psychologist—it was supposed to be last week but got moved to this.

I felt better after the talk, but I want to elicit long-term changes, and I realize that feeling better is only temporary.
For now, I’m due to write down every time I start to feel bad or have negative emotions and try and track them down to a rational cause.

I’ll keep you guys updated.


#42

Sigh, first time I noticed this thread. At your age, women want bad boys or at least one they can think they can “fix” so the panties go flying. How’ve, as you grow older, women aren’t into unstable guys as much. Seek out a psychiatrist for your issues and a therapist or psychologist. I’d recommend the psych first and have them refer you to therapist cuz ya need a team when dealing with lots of baggage. Unfortunately, if you don’t learn to deal with life, you’ll accumulate more and more shit. You made the first step by admitting you have a problem, now accept it and take the measures to change it. No girl or anything can fix you. Only through hard work, can you move on and actually live life. I wouldn’t recommend as much sex as you can have because you’re emotionally charged meaning I believe your trying to fill that whole inside of you that’s an open wound, and if you’re whoring around, that”hole” will take pieces of you wit it. Some guys sex no biggie whatever, but you’re into mind games. And have few friends. So I’d recommend some masturbating, a psychiatrist and psychologist. Work on yourself


#43

No, both of you are kids with issues. Don’t give each other advice. This would be very irresponsible despite your self-perceived “good intentions”. You will both make things worse for yourselves.


#44

So you’re saying he’s trying to fill the whole in himself by filling the whole in others?


#45

That’s part of his problem yes. He’s too damn emotional to be fucking around


#46

Sounds like a plot for one of those porn movies that tries to incorporate a story…


#47

Don’t whore around, its like telling a drug addict to do as many drugs as possible to get it out of their system. Plus, do you really want to hurt anymore girls? You probably left your ex with emotional scars that won’t heal soon, why would you do that to more people. Now if you find a girl who all she wants to do is fuck and doesn’t really want anything else to do with you (they’re out there) then as long as both of you are on the same page go for it.

I’m all for enjoying your youth but don’t screw over others in the process of that. Learn to look at things from other’s point of view.


#48

I don’t want to hurt anybody. One of the girls that blew me is my best friend, and she’s been doing it for a while. Never considered being anything more, we are very happy to be friends. The other one has been in “love” with me for months, and I really never deluded her into thinking I’d ever be anything more with her.

The girl I’m having a date with is not relationship material—can tell from a mile’s distance. I never made a girl think I wanted something more when it wasn’t the case.

Plus my agenda isn’t to whore around at all. Heck, I never had an agenda to begin with. I’m just trying to live life, and with that comes meeting girls that won’t ever mean anything more than a blowjob, and possibly girls that will mean the world. If it occurs that tomorrow I meet a girl that I’m really into and matches the profile of a desirable long term relationship, I’ll be a heck more than happy to be with her.

I’m truly sorry for anybody I might have hurt so far, and looking at life from others’ perspective is what I’m now trying to learn. When this last girl gave me another chance, like I talked about, I really did my best to remedy my mistakes but apparently at that point it wasn’t about me anymore.


#49

Hey, if the girls know what the deal is and aren’t being led on, do you. I just don’t think its wise to TRY to fuck everything that moves. Be upfront and you’ll still get laid.


#50

I mean, I wouldn’t do that anyway. I get no fulfillment from being with girls I don’t really like, and “fucking everything that moves” would probably involve also being with ones I’m not attracted to, to some extent. I wish I was attractive enough to be able to afford fucking every girl I like so my “fucking everything that moves” would only involve 8’s and above.

buuut, this is real life, so…


#51

I’ll also expand on this one.

I can’t remember the last time I’ve been actually rejected. Even when the girl and I weren’t really hitting it off, I still got at least a kiss. I didn’t try and go further with all the girls I’ve made out with, but with those I tried with, again I can’t remember being stopped.

This tells me either of both of these things:

  1. I’m not really hitting on a ton of girls
  2. Those I’m hitting on, are already interested in me and all I’m doing is not screwing up

I used to sweat the small stuff, like what should I text her, how should I phrase the invite on a date, and the like. Now I get, and I have for some time now, that if the girl is interested in me, unless I do some major screwing up, everything I say will work.

Conversely, if she’s just not into me, there isn’t anything I can say or do that’ll get her to like me (except, maybe, becoming another person… Which isn’t really worth it let alone practical).

So, while all my insecurities started a long time ago because I felt I was ugly and had no “game” and zero ability to be with girls, now I can say that my issues are probably rooted somewhere else.

Time has shown me that I can in fact get girls, and while I still have to work out whether I’m actually ugly or not (my opinion seems to be in direct conflict with that of most girls I’ve been with), that doesn’t bother me nearly as much anymore. Now it’s on something else.


#52

this must be a gender/age thing, but I couldn’t imagine letting more than one guy eat me out within the same week, bleh. :face_vomiting:


#53

When did I question your ability to pick girls up?

All I’m saying is the advice that was given to fuck as many girls as you can is not the best advice. AGAIN, if both parties are on the same page, do it. But don’t lead anyone on or try to manipulate them like you did with your ex. Keep working on fixing and improving yourself, last thing you want is to leave a trail of emotionally scarred women in your wake.


#54

So that’s your standard for guys, but what about the ladies? Uhm, asking for a friend…


#55

Never asserted you did… I just wanted to say that when it came to my mind because that’d long been an insecurity for me. Up until maybe a little over than 9 months ago, I was the one questioning my ability in regards to girls, but in a certain sense facts have proven me wrong.
(I still believe that having been laid with only 2 girls is pretty low, disregarding the 30ish I only went as far as the kiss.)

I never intentionally manipulated anyone into having sex with me.

I think saying that I led her on that is quite a stretch.

What I’ll say, tho, is that with time I discovered that I didn’t feel the same about this girl when sex was taken away. This could mean lots of things but still, what I’m saying is that I think the enjoyment I’d get from the time spent with her went further than just sex (although it wasn’t the same when she intentionally took away sex).


#56

Seriously!

And I know it IS an age and gender thing, but viewing blowjobs as on par with making out or getting a back rub is weird and sad. I believe (based on experience working with girls trying to work through their confusion over sex and boys, not just my own visceral reaction) that the girls blowing guys DO feel they’re having sex, but don’t feel like they can or should make demands and are passively waiting for something to come of it. The appeal in giving oral sex is in seeing/feeling/hearing the guy get excited and then get off. It is not an inherently pleasant thing to do, it is only pleasant in that it’s arousing. So in that sense it’s sex. Just, in your case, not reciprocated.

What are you doing for them? If not sexually, in other ways? Are these good relationships for these girls? Or is what they’re doing with you going to eventually turn into a sour feeling of shame over having let themselves be used by someone who never cared about them? Will they happily admit it to a guy they’re falling in love with, or will it be something they keep secret as they get older? What would their moms and dads think? If you don’t want to hurt anybody and want to learn to understand others’ perspectives, make sure you’re thinking about what’s good for them and not just what feels good for you.


#57

Not viewing those things as on par but really, if you make out with someone you’re probably attracted enough to them to go further. If you don’t, that’s probably because of environmental/social/practical reasons, but if you are disgusted by the thought of having sex with a guy, I can’t imagine a situation in which you would want to make out with him instead.

Yeah I’ve thought about this for a while.

Both those girls had already done foreplay with me in the past, and I did finger them other times, I just didn’t want to fuck them. I even ate out one of the two.

So even if I didn’t have sex with them in the strictest, most literal sense, I still “reciprocated.”

One of the two is my best friend and we literally live by each other. She’s one of the most important persons in my life and this is mutual. I don’t even imagine her liking me in any other way, so I’m assuming all we do is just for fun.

The other girl I probably didn’t behave well with… She fell in love with me after we kissed (I know…), and she kept feeling this way (also posting Instagram stories about me and talking about me with everyone from friends of mine to her friends) for the whole duration of my relationship, which lasted just over 5 months, with the girl I knew a few days after the kiss with her.

I cheated on her with this girl twice, but never told her I wanted anything more than that.

I know I’m trying to deal with my issues and not others’ here but let me say this: although I know I have kind of the upper hand on some of these girls without having to do anything special, but really I never pointed a gun to their head and forced them to suck me off. And I didn’t ever delude them into thinking I wanted a serious relationship versus only fun.

Very rarely does a girl take pride in letting others know she’s sucking a guy’s dick that isn’t even his boyfriend… Regardless of what the guy is doing for her emotionally or otherwise. Ultimately, it’s their decision, isn’t it?


#58

Another thing I was thinking before bed last night ( I have no life lol) dont you respect your privates enough to not want a ton of different mouths all over it ? Like who knows who’s covering up a cold sore or who just blew someone else a few hours before you.
I have this one friend who never bangs only one guy at a time . I honestly think she’s just scared to death of getting hurt so she’s protecting herself by playing the field, but I have no idea how she does what she does to be honest. I never really tell her my actual opinion on the matter and our conversations can be kind of lacking, but I respect my privates too much to allow such randomnesses to be all up in there


#59

I think we’ve strayed from the fact he needs professional adviceone on one. Yeah, I’ve been married for over 10 years and last night the smell on my husbands breathe of chocolate rice crispies and beer was like, hun, plz brush your teeth haha. He didn’t mind cuz he was wired, and you learn with time how to get your man to fall asleep like a baby. Relationships are about the both of you. He respected me and I respected him.


#60

We’re talking about 5 girls that ever sucked me lol, not 25.
(since you’re talking about mouths, I’m not counting the few ones that didn’t go further than a handjob)…

And a couple of them were actually gf’s or former gf’s, so it’s not like I’m some sort of a male whore (although I’ll admit that I wouldn’t turn down such a lifestyle, at least for a while).

I started seeing a psychologist, so there really isn’t much more to say about that anymore