T Nation

A Baby Story

It was 8:30pm and my wife and I just finished dinner, when all of a sudden she jumps clean out of her chair, starts yelling OOOHHH OOOHHH while sprinting to the bathroom. I never seen a pregnant woman run so fast in all my life. I take off behind her like a cop in hot pursuit. I make it to the bathroom where I find my wife trying to convice herself she just had to pee really bad.

She says with a very shaky voice, “see false alarm, just had to pee”. I said, suuuurrrrrreee you did. Well she starts to leave the bathroom and abruptly turns back for the bathroom only this time there was more “PEE”. She must have been is a water breaking daze because she still thinks its just her needing to go to the bathroom. She gets up makes her way into the bedroom looking for some new clothes because the others are soaking wet when BAM the mysterious leak starts again.

I am screaming at her, get in the hall go go go! You see we just bought a new home that has been remodeled through and through, and I didnt want amniotic fluid stains all in the new carpet. Call me materialistic if you want, I just think it still shows I had enough wits about me during all the drama to think about the carpet.

Anyway, I get her into the hall, shes naked from the waist down, I’m digging through clothes trying to find her something to put on so we can get into the truck and get to the hospital. I peek back into the hallway and she starts leaking again, this time she is getting worked up and starts pacing from the kitchen to the living room yelling, “I think it’s time, you need to hurry”.

I respond back, would you at least stand in one spot, your like Hansel and Gretal, only instead of a bread trail, you leaving a water trail through out the house.

I get the prepacked baby bag, grab her some clothes, run out of the room into the hall, back to the room because I forgot to turn off the lights, run and tackle her put her on some clothes. She is crying by this time, cause she is scared and nervous. I pull her close and hug her, kiss her forhead and say, “this is moment you have been dreaming of for nine months, no come on lets go see our son”.

Out the door we go, her in front of me, me lugged down with bags and clothes and towels. She says to me dont forget the dog, I run back in and get the dog, put the dog in the laundry room, tell the dog bye (cause she is a senstive puppy) lock the door and run and crank the HEMI, put it in reverse scretch out of the driveway making record time to the hospital.

Now upon arrival at the hospital, my wife still in this delusional state ask me to go in and describe her symptoms to the nurses and see if it is indeed the real deal, or did she just urinate on herself repeatedly. I said, Mary, have you ever urinated on yourself before, she says no, I then say why in the world would you start now. Now you get out of this truck and march in there with wet pants and all and tell them you are having a baby. She reluctantly agrees and we walk in.

We meet with a nice nurse who ushers us into the room that will be simply titled the WAR ROOM for the remainder of this story. Once in the war room and the nurse checks her and give us the green light we start manning the phones giving the debriefing. I tell you guys I felt like a circuit board operator. I had three phones, four if you count the war room phone, all lighting up at the sametime.

I dont know how but people were calling me asking me about when was the baby going to be here, and I’m like how did you even find out. I turn on CNN and see if its running across the ticker at the bottom of the screen or something, which it wasnt. In the midst of all the calling the nurse comes back in and says, get comfortable its going to be a long night, she says we are going to give your body one hour to start contracting before we put you on the DRIP.

To me it meant, dude you got one hour before the wify becomes possessed with the labor demon, so enjoy your peaceful hour.

Sure enough, nothing during that hour except plenty of visitors and happy smiles and laughing, giggling, joking, just a grand ol time, but ALL THAT WAS ABOUT TO CHANGE.

Mary gets pricked, the I V is in place and the drip starts. We arrived at nine, but by this time it’s 10:30 and it’s just she and I in the room. By 10:45 the labor pains hit hard and heavy and more importantly, they are coming frequently. They lasted one minute in length, but were spaced four minutes apart.

Early on in the labor, I was filled with sweet words of encouragement, good and helpful bible verses, soft hugs, but by 3:30 in the morning after no sleep and a screaming wife all night, I am out, I’m done. I just start saying stuff like, Just breath honey…dont die on me honey…dont kill me…its not my fault…your said you wanted a kid…your hurting my hand…let go of my hair…and finally NURSE!!! GIVE HER SOME DRUGS.

The nurse obliged and gave my wife some pain medicine which made her have narcolepsy. She would be awake for the one minute of hell called a contraction, then passout for four minutes before the other contraction would come around again. I learned to use these four minutes four various things like…finding a bible so I could be ready to exorcise her for the when the next labor pain hit.

It was a really long…long night. By 8:00am the next morning she had dilated to 3.5cm then by 8:45am she moved up to 4cm just enough for the epidural to be given, THANK YOU JESUS! Now the poor girl didnt even get a chance to enjoy the epidural because within 30 min she moved all the way to 10cm, enough to start pushing and that is just what we started to do.

The nurses come in in camo and green and black face paint with hard hats and binoculars and they clear the remaining vistors and say it’s time for war. Next I feel like I am in Transformers the movie, because they transform the bed into some medevil birth device called a delivery table. Half of the bed snapped off, handles come out of no where, pedals folded from under the bed and I’m like, is these thing autobot or decepticon.

Anyway, after Optimus Prime gets through transforming it becomes time to count to thirty in a new and fun exciting way.

Here we go…everytime a contraction would come it was my job to coach and Mary’s job to push him out…shove him out…way out. Now if you remember from earlier in this grand tale contractions are four mins apart so you can all get the picture. OOHHH here comes one…deep breath in…and push 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10… deep breath in and rinse and repeat twice more.

Bless her heart an hour into it she is getting tired and sleepy, he has only moved 3/4 of an inch. Still she pushes on…another hour rolls by and nothing…he is stuck…the doctory says I cant let you go on much further like this. We think he is turned… and the best option at this point would be to deliver via C-section. Well about this time Mary gets her second wind, I am staggering to stay standing, she looks at me and says I am doing this natural.

So she gives it all she has for 30 min before the doctor and nurses come in and prep her for C-section.

She is upset and crying feeling like she failed, I must have recovered somewhat because I managed to utter a full sentece that wasnt slurred from lack of sleep. It went something like this, "Baby you and I both prayed from the beginning Lord let your will be done. Mary you have had a great pregnantcy, no pains, no sickness, no nothing and if this is how the Lord wants to finish it then so be it.

Your fine and the baby is fine, there is no hazard here except that he will not come out. Now lets let he who is faithful to begin a good work in you see it through to the end." With that we prayed and they wheeled her off, with me in tow.

I now find myself sitting in this preprep hall before I can go back with Mary, I put on my scrubs and hat and booties and they let me in. I walk in with eyes straight ahead not wanting to catch a glimpse of some intestines or worse. I am placed right behind this fabric wall and all that is showing is my wife’s head. I said, you ready, but something was wrong with her, she was flinching with pain.

She says to the nurse I can feel them cutting on me, I am not numb all the way. I try to calm her by saying, baby is it pain or do you just feel pressure, by this time she is crying and the montior start sounding off like slots machines. Her heart rate begins to sky rocket along with her blood pressure. I look and the nurse and she is already making her way over with a shot of something that was going to knock my wife out and knock her out fast.

That is exactly what it did, she was out, everything was back to normal and just then the most beautiful sound I have ever heard in my life filled the operating room. That sound was the sound of our son Micah making his voice heard, annoucing his entry into this world. I broke down and begin to cry and say he is here, he is finally here, thank you God, thank you God.

They say, here he is dad. I look over and they are cleaning him and doing thier mandatory procedures. They finish, swadle him up and bring him to me so I can show my wife but she was knocked out cold. I then take him to the nursury for the official weigh in and measurement. They say come on dad lets go see just how big he is.

They take him from me, strip him down and place him on the scale. 7.3lbs is what the scale reads. Next the stretch him out, pull out the tape and measure him. A lil over 21.5 inches. Next they meaure all of the other neccessary parts and pieces. They then swadle him back up and give me the official stats, slap me on the rear and say good job and send me out the door to annouce it all the crown of animals, I mean family outside.

I walk out and it was abudance of different reactions. Some smiled, some laughed but most just teared up and cried.

They called for me to come back, which I cooperated.I was in no shape to sprint to the car and make my way home with him, doesnt mean it didnt cross my mind. I handed my son over and made my way back into the hall and thats when the adreniline rush was over. BOOM, I felt all 36 hours of being awake hit me, I couldnt feel my feet or comprehend half of what family and friends were telling me.

All I could think about was my wife and how she didnt even get to see him or hear his first cries. I find a wall and post up on it and do my best to answer the reporters or it could have just been my family with millions of questions for me. I sufficed them all and one by one they all began to leave but not before they all gave me hugs and handshakes congratulating my wife and I on our little miracle slice of heaven in our son Micah.

I hope this brings back some memories for the dads out there and maybe encourage some wannabe dad’s to take the plunge.

This story is a year old but that day will forever be etched in stone in my memory and heart.

Here’s Micah now eating a post work out meal, or should I covered in a post work out meal of his favorite food, spaghetti.

Let’s see some pics and hear some stories about you guy’s pride and joy, AKA your children.

Congratulations, man… BUT THAT IS ONE LONG POST. I’m sorry, but you could’ve made it 1/2 as long…

Edit: Hadn’t realised that was the hero of the story himself. Again, congrats… Looks like the adventure was worth it :slight_smile:

I read the whole thing :slight_smile:

and appreciated every bit of it.

That post left me torn between “Awww, baby, so cute, warm fuzzies” and “JESUS CHRIST, STAY AWAY FROM ME WITH THAT KNIFE/PENIS!!!”


Awesome, I too read every word of it. I remember every minute of each day that each of my four were born, 3 girls and 1 boy.

Congratulations, he is a very handsome guy.

Enjoy every minute that you can with him, before you know it he will be all grown up!