T Nation

9-11 Done Right

Ok, so I’ve been hanging out on another 9-11 thread and it impresses me that the whole topic needs a reworking. So T-dudes & T-dudesses, let’s put together the ultimate 9-11 conspiracy theory here.

Remember, we need gaps in logic, unverifiable hypotheses, demonic public officials and the Laws of Physics have been completely deregulated.

I’ll start. The twin towers came down because when they were built a secret government edict had all of the implosion charged in place at the time of the construction. Since they were made starting in 1966, we see that Richard M. Nixon is the real culprit here. So, was he also a covert Islamicist? Were his Quaker roots just forgeries? He sure didn’t act like any Quaker I’ve met. You decide.

Pentagon planners obviously knew we were going to have to invade Iraq someday (even in the 60’s already!), probably to offset any national shortages of sand. Since they want to invade everybody, doesn’t this mean that most big buildings are awaiting the destruction order? Inquiring minds want to know! Real believers, knights that they are and shining paragons of virtue will, of course, want to start crawling through the ductwork of every skyscraper they can to diffuse any thermite charges. The fact that building security and the police want to stop you just proves they are all in on it.

Your turn. Don’t disappoint!

– jj

All of the people who would have knowlege of any of this were actually in the buildings when they collapsed, killing all of them at once.

edit- One man who knew managed to escape…how’d you do it, jj?

[quote]jj-dude wrote:
Ok, so I’ve been hanging out on another 9-11 thread and it impresses me that the whole topic needs a work-around. So T-dudes & T-dudesses, let’s put together the ultimate 9-11 conspiracy theory here.

Remember, we need gaps in logic, unverifiable hypotheses, demonic public officials and the Laws of Physics have been completely deregulated.

I’ll start. The twin towers came down because when they were built a secret government edict had all of the implosion charged in place at the time of the construction. Since they were made starting in 1966, we see that Richard M. Nixon is the real culprit here. So, was he also a covert Islamicist? Were his Quaker roots just forgeries? He sure didn’t act like any Quaker I’ve met. You decided.

Pentagon planners obviously knew we were going to have to invade Iraq someday (even in the 60’s already!), probably to offset any national shortages of sand. Since they want to invade everybody, doesn’t this mean that most big buildings are awaiting the destruction order? Inquiring minds want to know! Real believers, knights that they are and shining paragons of virtue will, of course, want to start crawling through the ductwork of every skyscraper they can to diffuse any thermite charges. The fact that building security and the police want to stop you just proves they are all in on it.

Your turn. Don’t disappoint!

– jj[/quote]

While reading your post I was struck by how similar it sounds to Dick Cheney musing to himself before 9/11,: “Because the children will give us no peace, it is OK to do this.”

LOL

I knocked down the towers, framed Al-Qaeda, and co-produced Loose Change 1 & 2 to point the finger at the Bush Administration.

I’m that fucking good.

As for the collapse of WTC 7, that wasn’t me. I have no idea how that happened.

ElbowStrike

[quote]Gkhan wrote:
All of the people who would have knowlege of any of this were actually in the buildings when they collapsed, killing all of them at once.

edit- One man who knew managed to escape…how’d you do it, jj?[/quote]

Hard to say in public, but I admit it. In the middle of it all I was abducted by space aliens. Fortunately I have not much memory of that. I do seem to recall that they all looked like Kliplemet though. (ducking for cover)

– jj

[quote]jj-dude wrote:
Gkhan wrote:
All of the people who would have knowlege of any of this were actually in the buildings when they collapsed, killing all of them at once.

edit- One man who knew managed to escape…how’d you do it, jj?

Hard to say in public, but I admit it. In the middle of it all I was abducted by space aliens. Fortunately I have not much memory of that. I do seem to recall that they all looked like Kliplemet though. (ducking for cover)

– jj
[/quote]

Damn, lucky you didn’t end up in a vat in Dulce NM. (google it) (add keyword “Bennewitz” to help) lol

There’s a conspiracy for ya !