I’ve been where you are man, trust me.
When I started TRT a year ago, my confidence was rock solid for a while. The honeymoon phase, they call it. Even my doctor gave me the heads up about this.
It passes, and you won’t get it back. There’s no way with TRT alone to get it back. Not possible. Everyone here, literally everyone, experiences this and wishes they could have it again. I was in the same boat as you, saying “I will literally do anything to have that back” - it’s not gonna happen. You could look into different treatments that would produce a similar effect, but it won’t be the same (some guys like Wellbutrin, for example).
The confidence and jealousy - I really really believed TRT would fix this for me and I’d be the macho man some of my friends convinced me I wasn’t. Well, TRT definitely helped my confidence, but not in the way you’re looking for (or that I was). I’m now a lot more content with who I am, my future, my goals, and my limitations. Do my friends still pick on me? Yea, my buddy was on my case the other day for being a softy around my girl. Do I care? No, I actually laughed for the first time instead of taking it personally. And that, in my mind, showed a lot more confidence than anything else.
Jealousy - I’ve been there too. Turns out it was the girl I was dating back then. If you’re engaged, maybe look into finding a good therapist to help you through that. I learned a lot of times jealousy comes from not standing by your own boundaries and speaking up about things that make you uncomfortable. TRT won’t fix your girl talking to the guy at the office, but it might give you the boost you need to figure out why that upsets you and what you can actually do about it so the both of you are happier together.
Last thing, my confidence was just as good, if not better, when my total T was around 750 as when it was over 1500. That high and my anxiety got the best of me, and my temper was just creating more problems to worry about.