30 y/o Feeling Like Crap

Hey guys, basically it’s like I wrote, I’ve always had low T it would range between 100-200.
Probably started about 4 years ago. Had my hormone levels checked when me and my ex-wife were trying to have kids, everything came back normal.A year later started a cycle for the first time in my life,I’ve always trained (mostly weight training, but around the time just before I started the cycle I was running a lot about 3 miles a day 4-5 times a week).

Got on the cycle started with 400 mls of Test E and Anavar, I believe it was the 100 mgs, but no less than 50 definitely. My weight was about 215, Im 5’10, and roughly was about 19% bf. I felt amazing, better than I had in years. I eventually stopped the Var and switched to Deca, not much just maybe 150-200 mls and switched to Test Cyp. 600 mls.

Switched to the Cyp cause now I was getting it from my Doctor since my count was low in my last blood work. I was on that combo for probably around 8-10 weeks. Then slowly started to lower the test until eventually I was off it completely. I did some pct for awhile. So now I recently got my blood work done again, and the doctor says I should be starting to grow a clit any day now,the test came in at 190.

I had be feeling like shit for awhile, moody, irritable, lack of energy, Yawning by 9pm, sex drive was stil there though. He prescribes me it again. So I started a low dosage of 200 mls every 10 days. Did that for about a month then added Deca, A veeerryy low dose just to ease the joint pains.My strength was going up, but I was still feeling crappy, so I cut the Deca and upped the Test to 400. My strength went up…BIG.I was Benching more than I ever had. But I still feel like shit.

I’m going to the doctor next week, to get some blood work done again. My dad suffered from Parkinsons and Alzheimers, he got it pretty young at 54, I’m 30 now. I did some reading and there are some studies that show low test may contribute to Alzheimers. I went through alot with my divorce, I kind of still am. So not sure if this is just stress or depression eating away at me or something bigger. But I do know I’m not feeling the way I did with my first cycle.

I still train, somedays harder than others, not as much cardio as I should. I’m not so much concerned with my appearance, I’m currently 230, 36" waist I recently had a BF test done and one showed 19% and the other 21%. The nutrionist, who’s also a buddy of mine, said that more accurate actually showed the lower number. Regardless I know I could lose 30lbs.

I was actually 220 for a long time, after starting the test I gained another 10, So I’m assuming it’s water retention. But my biggest concern is the way I feel, I eat well, as much fruits and Veggies as I could. Cut down on red meat and pork recently, trying to eat more fish.

I’ve always eaten pretty healthy though, my drinking has been on the upside lately, but before.the problem was there before that. When I say upside I mean now I drink socially compared to not drinking at all before. I’ve been trying to cut down the stress in my life, I’m with a new girl…we’re having a little girl in Sept. which I’m thrilled about. Quit my second job that was killing me, I hated my boss. Slowly everything is getting back on track, but this one issue.

Feeling better is very important, especially with my profession, which is physically demanding.
If anyone has some helpful info I’d really appreciatte any help.

Sorry for the long read, your time is very much appreciatted!!

Well I know while on my last cycle they were elevated, I wanna say as high as 90-100. But he said as long as there were no signs of gyno ( nipple sensitivety ), I was ok. But I he prescribed clomid anyway.

But I’ll get the value and post it ASAP

You need Estradiol (E2) not total Estrogens.

You need to figure out your actual dosage in mg, not mL…mL is useless if you do not know the potency.

Read the stickeys in the TRT forum for advice and to figure out what you don’t know about, so you can ask questions (if that makes sense).

You have some work to do.