Well, what you described is the number one reason most people turn there backs on God. It actually has a name, it's called "The problem of evil".
In this respect, I sympathize with you even though ultimately I draw a different conclusion. I don't believe it's all for nothing, I believe it will all come out right in the end.
I see it as a test.
Either way it does not matter in one respect, whether you believe or not, your life is going be a roller coaster and you will have to put up with a bone crushing amount of shit, then you die. This is true for theist and atheist alike.