Agree that it's unnecessary (and counter-productive) for a doctor to ask questions in a manner that comes across as judgmental and/or insulting. (Some folks have poor people-skills, and docs are no exception.)
Not sure to whom you're referring by 'us,' but on this subforum the prevailing attitude is that most doctors (aka "idiots") are an inconvenience at best, and a necessary evil at worst. Most posters here are counseled to insist their doctor draw certain labs, and to demand that specific drugs (with particular dosing parameters) be prescribed. If the "idiot" won't comply, posters are urged to doctor-shop until they find one who will. And a doctor who simply gives a pt what s/he wants meets my definition of a dealer.
Symptoms are not included in the diagnostic/treatment criteria for essential HTN, diabetes and/or hypercholesterolemia because they (symptoms) are not relevant to the disease process (until/unless the process is very advanced). OTOH, symptoms ARE a part of the diagnostic/treatment criteria for hypogonadism--they ARE relevant to determining whether the disease is present in a particular individual. And by what currently is considered the standard of care, 'I want to feel younger' is not one of those diagnostic criteria. Neither is 'I feel better when I'm on it.'
There are many drugs that produce an enhanced sense of well-being. Should 'I feel better when I'm on it' be considered legitimate as a sole diagnostic criteria for all of them?
To the contrary, if you went in and said 'I have ED, and I'm depressed,' and your T levels were low, most docs would be happy to consider TRT.
But as mentioned above, 'I want to feel younger/better' is not among the criteria needed to establish a diagnosis of clinical hypogonadism. Further, if the I-want-to-feel-younger/better pt's T level falls within the normal range, prescribing TRT becomes even more problematic from the physician's perspective. A physician can lose his/her license if the medical board finds that s/he is prescribing test (or any other med) inappropriately.
In short, a reluctance to prescribe TRT to individuals who do not meet established criteria for hypogonadism has a lot more underlying it than mere 'philosophical concerns.'