Let me tell you the extremely messed up situation I am in, you guys seem much more knowledgeable than my docs , so hopefully somebody can help. Please forgive me for the lengthy post. Long story short, I am 25, going on 26 in 3 months. I also happen to still be a virgin, OUCH.. right? but hold up.. somehow looking back at my life this all ties together and seems to make sense now with my recent diagnosis.
to make things as concise as possible, leaving out all irrelevant to the question, and explanatory life details,
I only had one girlfriend in high school, and I failed to sleep with her and we broke up because I did not feel comfortable because I "did not find her attractive enough" despite her being quite decent looking by any normal standards. Since then, many decent looking by normal standards girls pursued me through high school and college years, and I would turn them down because I felt like "they were not attractive enough for me" it just seemed like they wouldnt really "turn me on".. the only girls that would turn me on are like the 10-15% where they had some feature that was extremely attractive, and that was too low of a percentage for me to ever get with any of them. This makes me think I actually may have had libido problems and T problems all along and never knew it. I didnt realize something was wrong, and just laughed it off thinking "i was way too picky" and it was killing my chances
2013 I started getting my game straight, and found the first woman I tried to have sex with.. despite finding her very attractive, once we got in bed all the sudden I felt like I had no interest at all and cannot even get an erection. after that I have tried with about six or seven other women and gotten the same exact results.
My first T test I got was in early 2015, It came back at 365, at the time I had some rather severe insomnia, and was drinking pretty heavily for the past year. After getting on trazadone for sleep, and getting about 6 hours a night average since then, and cutting back and eventually quitting drinking entirely, i thought I would improve, but I got a new test 2 months ago and it came back at 325! Also i felt like my libido got worse, I failed with yet another woman, and women actually started to look strange to me! it was a real head trip! not even attractive anymore really, but strange!
Some more background/ recent blood tests.
I had a severe head trauma when I was born
my blood tests indicated that I have a condition called hypocholesterol - my non fasting total cholesterol came back at 125
I was slightly low on vitamin D
I I did not have any other test done as of yet, I just went to see a urologist who was terrible and did not listen to me although he did give me an order for a blood test for LH and LFSH and Estrogen. He also just threw a prescription of testosterone gel in my face in five minutes and told me to take it or leave it. I accepted the prescription but I really want to be careful before making a life-changing decision like this, plus at 25 thats a long time to be on trt the rest of my life, and I still want to have children.
one of the things I have been doing since the last month is desperately trying to raise my cholesterol. I started out with a little bit of butter and milk everyday and lately I have really been upping it, as of the last week and a half I have been at about half a stick of butter and two eggs and two glasses of milk a day, and now I'm trying to go even higher.
Semingly no improvement in sleep, libido seems same as terrible when watching porn, with about 65% erection strength and potency, but seems just a bit easier now to get an erection, also seems like muscles are just a little bit rounder and fuller, but only a little, and it seems I have at least lost the effect of women looking "strange" and they look at least attractive again. Still afraid to have sex though and fail again. I never got my levels tested yet after starting this since its only been about a month i got this idea.
Im not sure if I am improvign or not.
Could I have your guys thoughts on my situation? I feel like my GP is fantastic but not too knowledgeable on the issue, and my urologist is an asshole who would not listen to me or conduct any thorough tests on me at all, he straight told me my cholesterol had nothing to do with it.
Sorry for the long post.
Thank you so much!