21 Year Old, 5'6, 140 lbs

Bigger Stronger Leaner
21

[quote]ActivitiesGuy wrote:

[quote]Ecchastang wrote:
Eat more animal fats, and quit the IF. When I was doing IF back in 2012, my sex drive plummeted. [/quote]

Intrigued to hear this…I’ve been (sorta, not totally) IF’ing for a few months and had started to notice the same. Had no trouble on a recent visit from GF but rarely awake with morning wood or get spurious erections when she’s not around. Might start eating a more substantial lunch again and see where that takes me.[/quote]
Basically when I did about 3 months of IF, I lost the morning wood and random erections. Also had no problem when we did stuff, but just wasn’t thinking about it as much when we weren’t. I was also going pretty low carb at the time, around 100g. Eating more often seemed to make the difference.

22
  1. Am I satisfied with my life?

No. Very much no.

  1. Am I making progress towards getting what I want at a reasonable rate?

No, because I don’t know how.

  1. What’s holding me back?

Puberty.

  1. Why is it holding me back?

Because people don’t take someone who lacks facial hair and secondary sexual characteristics seriously. Seriously, I look about 15 or 16.

  1. What can I do to fix that?

???

  1. Why am I not doing that?

You can’t do what you don’t know.

23

Having a f-ing beard doesn’t make someone more of a man.

24

Mark Zuckerberg looks like he’s 15. He founded Facebook, became a billionaire and married his college sweetheart.

OP, you’re obviously in psychological pain. The posters in this thread have all taken different approaches to trying to help you, but it seems that what you’re going through requires more than you’re going to get on an internet message board. Please talk to a professional counselor. If you’re a college student, your school probably has one whose services are free or very close to it.

25

[quote]dave670 wrote:

Because people don’t take someone who lacks facial hair and secondary sexual characteristics seriously. Seriously, I look about 15 or 16.
[/quote]

Dude. People thought I was 17 when I was 24. Some people just look young. Hell, people still think I look 17, and I’m now approaching 27.

You want people to take you seriously? Don’t like stupid shit like this bother you.

How do you fix your issue? Very simple guidelines-

Lift really heavy things.
Push your body to its physical limits on a frequent basis.
Eat a lot of food.

Do this for a year. If no change occurs, then you may legitimately have low T.

26

[quote]dave670 wrote:

Because people don’t take someone who lacks facial hair and secondary sexual characteristics seriously. Seriously, I look about 15 or 16. [/quote]

Bullshit.

I’ve never seen you in person but I’m finding it really hard to take you seriously. You sound like you’re 15 or 16.

27

What exactly are you calling bullshit on, good sir?

28

[quote]LiftingStrumpet wrote:
Mark Zuckerberg looks like he’s 15. He founded Facebook, became a billionaire and married his college sweetheart.

OP, you’re obviously in psychological pain. The posters in this thread have all taken different approaches to trying to help you, but it seems that what you’re going through requires more than you’re going to get on an internet message board. Please talk to a professional counselor. If you’re a college student, your school probably has one whose services are free or very close to it.
[/quote]

Agree 100% with this. People here will try to help you, but you’re already “arguing” with them, i.e. resisting their advice as a defense mechanism, rather than following it. Not saying that to criticize you, just that an internet message board is not the best medium for that process. A counselor of some kind would be much better.

It probably wouldn’t hurt to start training properly and getting bigger and stronger, though.

29

[quote]dave670 wrote:

It’s hard to feel alpha when your body is underdeveloped. I came here looking to fix that. [/quote]

Tell that to Bill Gates.

Stop making excuses for your shitty life and get your shit together. No one gives two shits about what you look like if you’re good at what you do.

30

Get on a proper program like texas method, ws4sb etc

31

[quote]dave670 wrote:
5) What can I do to fix that?

???

  1. Why am I not doing that?

You can’t do what you don’t know. [/quote]

Dude, legit hormone issues are one thing but I’m not totally convinced that’s your primary case here. Even if, big big big if, it was, there are a handful of simple steps you could take to improve your situation. And they’ve pretty much already been mentioned.

Lift weights 3-5 days per week to build strength and muscle (to be specific, I’d shoot for 20+ pounds of muscular bodyweight, a 315 deadlift, a 225 squat, and a 155 overhead press by Christmastime), and eat at least three meals a day as part of a high-calorie diet with plenty of animal protein and healthy fats (and not necessarily avoiding carbs).

Once those two steps - training and nutrition - are in place for a consistent month or two, then I’d reconsider looking at your hormone situation. It could be as easy as adding a decent Test booster supp instead of full-blown TRT. But that’s getting ahead of things for now. The point is, low Test is almost-certainly not the underlying cause of your issues.

Skinny dudes love bodyweight exercises because they’re good at them. To achieve more, you need to do more. You’re not avoiding dumbbell exercises because you “get a better workout” with bodyweight stuff. You’re avoiding free weights because they’re harder.

[quote]Yogi wrote:
low T is this generation’s hargainer.[/quote]
I’m worried and bummed out at how accurate this probably is.

32

I agree, this is more of a character flaw than anything else. Low T can be changed, looking lanky can be changed - go to a gym and get your deadlift up to 400 -, being scared and insecure about your abilities can be changed. Start with the latter by doing this:

For the next three weeks, do one scary thing every day. Scary, not dangerous or illegal. Ask someone out. Go climbing. Go to a swimming pool and jump off of the highest board. Etc. Do these thing with as little hesitation as possible.

Here’s the thing - and this is something every psychologist, pick up artist etc will confirm. You could undergo hormone therapy, train and add 50 pounds of muscle but none of this means you’ll change the way you think about yourself. Start building confidence by overcoming fear. Changing the outside is much easier, this board is full of people who have done it.

33

[quote]Ecchastang wrote:

[quote]ActivitiesGuy wrote:

[quote]Ecchastang wrote:
Eat more animal fats, and quit the IF. When I was doing IF back in 2012, my sex drive plummeted. [/quote]

Intrigued to hear this…I’ve been (sorta, not totally) IF’ing for a few months and had started to notice the same. Had no trouble on a recent visit from GF but rarely awake with morning wood or get spurious erections when she’s not around. Might start eating a more substantial lunch again and see where that takes me.[/quote]
Basically when I did about 3 months of IF, I lost the morning wood and random erections. Also had no problem when we did stuff, but just wasn’t thinking about it as much when we weren’t. I was also going pretty low carb at the time, around 100g. Eating more often seemed to make the difference. [/quote]

I just started IF the last few weeks, haven’t noticed the changes you guys have. I’m going 16/8, eating between 12 and 8(ish). How did you IF, surely each method/protocol won’t be the same?

34

Hey man, you’re getting a lot of good advice here and I hope you’re able to let go of whatever hang ups you have long enough to let it sink in. Here are some insights that I think you might find useful:

  1. First and foremost, you don’t have clinical low testosterone based on the number you provided. So, you can drop that as an excuse/ mental hangup/ whatever. Plenty of guys have total testosterone numbers lower than that and are perfectly able to gain muscle and strength, and so can you. It really is that simple.

  2. If you honestly suspect that you have a hormonal deficiency that needs medical attention, you need to educate yourself and take responsibility for your own health. I’m not trying to be a dick, but the excuse that your parents won’t let you see the results is fucking laughable. Legally, it’s not their choice. You’re an adult. Act like one, call your doctor and request the full test results if you want them.

  3. There is a LOT more to understand with regards to your hormonal profile than total (not free, like you said earlier) testosterone. Do you realize that it’s totally normal for a man’s total t to fluctuate by as much as 250 ng/dl during the day? Serum levels peak around 8 am and decline after that… So if you got your blood drawn at noon it might be showing an artificially low number (which, to reiterate, isn’t even “low” in the clinical sense). It is virtually meaningless to say “my testosterone is 400” after a single blood test.

  4. All that said, being small really DOES suck. So, do something about it. You’re wasting time and mental energy focusing on your hormones when what you really should be doing is training your ass off (with shit that will actually make you bigger and stronger) and eating like you mean it. When I was your age I weighed 20 lbs less than you at an inch taller. 3.5 years later my weight peaked at 195 lbs… And this is with actual, medically recognized hormonal issues. So stop being a defeatist and get to work.

  5. Here is what you should do: pick a program from this site. Run it exactly as written for 16 weeks. During this time, eat enough to gain 15 lbs. That means if you go a week without the scale moving up, it’s time to eat more. At the end of 16 weeks, reflect back on how things have gone and then proceed forward accordingly. Getting bigger is not going to solve your problems, but being a man of action who consistently does what he needs to do instead of sitting around and making up excuses will certainly help.

35

[quote]dave670 wrote:
What exactly are you calling bullshit on, good sir? [/quote]

The fact that you choose to address me as “good sir” in response to my deliberately confrontational post is rather telling of your passive character.

Maybe it’s a generation issue, but you don’t sound like a 21 year old. This is why people don’t take you seriously. If I interview someone around your age for a job, I’m prepared for him to say something stupid due to age and/or inexperience. How young or dumb he looks or sounds does not matter. I’m looking for assertiveness and confidence with the right educational qualifications. I certainly DO NOT look for, nor notice the lack of, secondary male characteristics.

You have been given good advice in this thread. Use it.

PS, I also suggest that you contact your doctor for an evaluation, or at least a copy of your lab report to rule out any hormonal imbalances. If you have balls, you’ll find a way to do it.

36

[quote]Ecchastang wrote:
Having a f-ing beard doesn’t make someone more of a man. [/quote]

Neither does having a freakishly large bench press.

Haha I kid, since I have neither. =P

OP, what if I told you that this was as masculine as you are going to get? What then? Because 400ng/dL of test may not be huge for someone your age, but it’s not a pre-pubertal amount either. We also don’t know the clinical picture, so it’s a really bad idea to get too freaked out about a number that is meaningless by itself. Total test has some issues too. Work with your Dr if you have an androgen problem. There are always other ways to increase it too.

Hell, someday in the not so distant future you might even see it as a blessing. I’m 25 and still get ID’d all the time. You see, when you have the otherwise physical and mental maturity and experience of a 25-year-old, despite looking a few years younger than you are, you get this absolutely terrible side effect of being attractive to 18-20 year old girls.

But I don’t think that’s your problem. That won’t fix you. How do I know? Because once upon a time I was you. I was the small, underdeveloped Asian kid with glasses and braces who did well at school, but abysmally with people. By the time I graduated high school, I had never even kissed a girl. And let me tell you something, Asian guys are considered by many to be one of the least attractive/masculine ethnicities. It doesn’t help that we’re so often characterized as being weak and submissive and have so few masculine role models to look up to. I used to hate my heritage. But blaming things you can’t change doesn’t solve anything: you have to focus on the things you can change.

Now I’m proud to be who I am and to stand out. I believe I learned a lot of valuable things by growing up exposed to more than 1 culture. And in the 7 years since I left high school, much has changed for me. All the examples of confidence I gave you earlier were from my own life (and I passed that damn cardiology exam for the record). Doesn’t much sound like the guy I just described does it?

It’s not an easy process to completely overhaul oneself, and you will hit a lot of low points along the way. One part is recognizing and working towards your goals and achieving them. It won’t happen overnight. Learn to recognize and celebrate small benchmarks of progress. Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day. Don’t beat yourself up over setbacks. Acknowledge them, consider them learning experiences, and move on.

The other part is learning to accept the things you’re insecure about but can’t change. Realize that you can’t change them, and try and focus on the positives. And I already got you started by telling you one good thing about having a baby face. And after that, you will learn to laugh about them. And then you will realize that you don’t feel so insecure anymore.

It’s not an overnight process and it’s not easy. And it will never stop. After having enjoyed what this process has to offer though, you won’t want to stop.

That’s about all I can tell you. If you want someone to hold your hand through the process, then you’ve missed the point. So no more excuses for why you’re not progressing to where you want to be. What’s it going to be: will you continue to wallow in self-pity and feeble excuses or will you choose the harder, but infinitely more rewarding, path?

I don’t regret my decision.

/awkwardly autobiographical rant

37

This is probably one of the top 5 most frustrating thread I’ve ever read.

Dude, some of the advice you’ve been given here is pure gold. Some really sound ideology.

But, honestly, I think you already know everything that people have been telling you on here. I’m sure you do. Don’t be scared to take control of the things in life you can control. Granted, there are some things you can’t control (naturally low T levels, lack of facial hair or whatever) but the beauty of it is, you don’t have to worry about trying to control those things because you will never be able to. Life is 10% what happens and 90% how you react to it.

You got this dude. I’m rooting for you.

38

X2 on basically everything said

Fish oil, vitamin d3, and zinc/zma wouldn’t hurt either. The last two can affect libido if they’re on the deficient side and the first is just generally useful.

39

I think some of the advice you’ve already been given is pure gold, especially Apoklyps. My take is that you’re looking for excuses to fail at life because it’s easier than putting everything out there to succeed. I think that if you genuinely thought low T was your issue, you’d be having this conversation with your doctor rather than strangers on message boards because you’d be pretty serious about fixing it. I also think that if you woke up tomorrow looking like Brian Blessed, you’d just find another, equally unbelievable, reason for why you aren’t succeeding.

40

[quote]dt79 wrote:

The fact that you choose to address me as “good sir” in response to my deliberately confrontational post is rather telling of your passive character.

[/quote]
Would it have been better if I’d called you motherfucker? Would you have been more assured I wasn’t “passive” if I had responded more angrily?

[quote]Apoklyps wrote:

you get this absolutely terrible side effect of being attractive to 18-20 year old girls.

[/quote]

I’m currently attractive to like 15 or 16 year old girls. So I guess I can wait a few years, that doesn’t sound so bad if I’ll be 25 and dating an 18-20 year old. Still legal.

And I don’t legitimately think low T is my issue. I get horny, etc. I can build muscle. So it’s just down to having lived like a pussy for too long.

Listen, I was hanging with a dude my age last night, and he could grow a beard but I could see underneath he was baby-faced. And he was way more assertive than I. My best guess is that he would have still been assertive was he shaved. I think it’s what you forge yourself into that makes the difference, not what you look like. If you act the right way it will be irrelevant what I look like. Bruce Lee didn’t look particularly masculine in the face yet I don’t think a single man alive would call him less than a man, probably because he would have killed them. I think it’s what I make myself into.

I might get into a martial art or something that builds discipline. I need it.

Thanks for the help guys. I’m not just trolling, I do appreciate the advice.