[quote]pushharder wrote:
Davey baby, remember, there’s someone for everyone.[/quote]
Hey, bigger women need love too. Just because she’s over twice his weight doesn’t mean they can’t click.
She looks like she’s about to eat his head, though.
[quote]dave670 wrote:
[quote]pushharder wrote:
Davey baby, remember, there’s someone for everyone.[/quote]
Hey, bigger women need love too. Just because she’s over twice his weight doesn’t mean they can’t click.
She looks like she’s about to eat his head, though. [/quote]
As a courteous gesture, in return for all the care, advice, time, and thought, we have provided to help you, can you please tell us if you are screwing with us or are just giving ridiculous ramblings to entertain or indulge yourself, and maybe some of us here who do get a kick out of it all?
Although when I was depressed, in what, if I have them correctly, are called “mixed episodes”, I would mindlessly go on tirades to express my cynicism and how the odds were stacked against me.
So what is it? If at this point you want a sounding board, just say it. Otherwise, wouldn’t it be better if you stopped trolling the people who have poured their emotions and insights in this thread to help you.
[quote]BrickHead wrote:
As a courteous gesture, in return for all the care, advice, time, and thought, we have provided to help you, can you please tell us if you are screwing with us or are just giving ridiculous ramblings to entertain or indulge yourself, and maybe some of us here who do get a kick out of it all?
Although when I was depressed, in what, if I have them correctly, are called “mixed episodes”, I would mindlessly go on tirades to express my cynicism and how the odds were stacked against me.
So what is it? If at this point you want a sounding board, just say it. Otherwise, wouldn’t it be better if you stopped trolling the people who have poured their emotions and insights in this thread to help you. [/quote]
Believe it or not, the thread itself actually is in earnest, and mostly factual. The occasional silliness that I’ve done has been more out of a “fuck it” sense that I’ve already lost too much respect on here, but I can only blame myself for that. Here’s some serious info though:
Solidarity with the depressed tirades, sometimes it can feel to a depressed single guy that the entire world is stacked against you. It’s a very humbling moment when you look yourself in the mirror and see yourself as you actually are, and ego is put out of the equation. When I did that, it suddenly became clear why I wasn’t getting laid, and I stopped feeling as angry about it. That said, looking at yourself in terms of whether you are “fuckable” or not is NOT self-love in any way, shape or form. It’s actually a pretty cruel way to evaluate yourself, but it is also a very common way to evaluate yourself for people with low self esteem. Drug use is also associated with lack of self confidence. Do you see a pattern here?
The sad thing is that I’m not even the very bottom of the barrel. There was a time I was actually thriving more in life. I was a good student in high school, took AP courses at a community college and bagged an Associate’s by the time I was 18. I liked to draw, read, listen to and make music and longboard.
By around 17, though, a new age was dawning of a period I like to refer to as The Great Uncertainty. I was getting ready to leave the relatively sheltered environment of high school (high school was HELL, but it’s still not the real world). I still remember the fall of 2011 and feeling about how clueless I was about what I was going to do for college and such.
Once I got to college, I felt very out of place, very alone. I couldn’t identify with many of the people there, though some I could - mainly the awkward loner stoners who skipped class to play puff puff pass. I did abysmally with girls, most of them (and the guys) had somehow managed to mature both mentally and physically faster than I had, so it just increased the awkwardness factor. Whether I knew it or not, the ego that i had build up around myself in high school was slowly disintegrating and I was losing any sense of self confidence whatsoever.
I got really depressed after that. I had been athletic in HS, I ran XC and had been 145 and mostly muscle for a period of time. But instead of gaining weight in college like most people do, I lost like 35 lbs in 6 months by basically not eating and smoking cigarettes. I didn’t feel like putting shit into my body when what I really needed was soul food and things that made me feel good in the inside. I still have yet to get those.
So I ended up doing roofing and contracting for a period of time, because I realized there was truly nothing that I could do. I was dirt digger, shit-sweeper and shingle-tearer, the boy who got most of the heat most of the time when other people were having a bad day and got pissed off. I quit that job not because of the work, but because of the people involved, there was too much of a toxic element that was just making me feel even more self hatred.
Fun fact, a few weeks after I quit, my boss (who had screamed at and verbally abused me daily) called me and informed me, sadly, how excellent a worker I was and that he was sad to lose me.
I now live with three roommates in an unnamed, major US city, spending $36 a month on groceries and paying about ~$350 total on rent each month. It is not the most comfortable of living circumstances, I don’t even have a bed, but I am getting by.
So here I find myself, in The Waiting Place as Dr. Seuss so eloquently put it. It is a continuous lifestyle undermined by self-doubt and lack of self confidence that is putting a roadblock on any conscious action I take, excepting that which is necessary to maintain my existence.
If only I was taller. If only I didn’t look 12. If only I had more money.
Years could go by this way, I could be 30-40 and still tilting at windmills. People have told me I have been tilting at windmills and fighting imaginary battles for years. A psychiatrist once speculated (not diagnosed) that I may be what is known as affective schizophrenic, or possibly somewhere on the autistic spectrum.
Time will have to tell, I suppose. But I feel like I’m running out of that.
If I am not for myself who is for me?
And being for my own self, what am I?
If not now, when?
–Hillel the Elder, 110 BCE - 10 CE, as legend would have it.
I’ve seen it quoted a couple of ways (main difference being a change to “and being only for my own self”). This is my preferred version.
The reason you aren’t getting laid is you reek of onions… Quit rubbing them on your face!
[quote]dave670 wrote:
Believe it or not, the thread itself actually is in earnest, and mostly factual. The occasional silliness that I’ve done has been more out of a “fuck it” sense that I’ve already lost too much respect on here, but I can only blame myself for that.[/quote]
Because acting, in addition to looking, like a 12 year old is totally going to get you more respect. If you want to have any shot at being taken seriously, then cut it the fuck out.
[quote]dave670 wrote:
Time will have to tell, I suppose. But I feel like I’m running out of that. [/quote]
Because you are sitting around typing up essays on a bodybuilding forum instead of getting stuff done.
[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
[quote]dave670 wrote:
Believe it or not, the thread itself actually is in earnest, and mostly factual. The occasional silliness that I’ve done has been more out of a “fuck it” sense that I’ve already lost too much respect on here, but I can only blame myself for that.[/quote]
Because acting, in addition to looking, like a 12 year old is totally going to get you more respect. If you want to have any shot at being taken seriously, then cut it the fuck out.[/quote]
Yay, more validation that I do indeed look 12. I’m going to stop posting for good now and go suck my pacifier, or continue the cycle of going out to the club and asking a girl to pull me only to have her reply that I am 12. I thank everyone for your help but it has become clear you cannot help me. I must obtain the puberty. I must accomplish the puberty. I must make the entire point of my existence to accomplish the puberty, even if it kills me. Because puberty is the only solution to this. Puberty.
I didn’t choose the late puberty. The late puberty chose me.
For those of you who joined the conversation late, or have forgotten this. This is what the OP ACTUALLY looks like. The dude who looks like he forgot to shave his mustache and has forehead wrinkles. Apparently that’s what a 12 year old looks like in his world.
You don’t look like a 12 year old. You look your age.
You also don’t act like a 12 year old. You act like a baby.
Dave, go back and read the first few pages of this thread. You were reasonable then, just 6 weeks ago. You weren’t a flaming asshole to us then. You didn’t harp on nonsense incessantly. All you seem to want to do now is be a dick to everyone. Fuck you if you can’t be civil here. The pity party you want to throw for yourself is utterly garbage, and it’s based on falsehoods anyway. I can GUARANTEE you women are far more turned off by your personality than your looks. I
bet you oscillate between begging for attention from women and being a condescending whiny asshole to them, neither of which is appealing. You’re the idiot in the fedora who approaches women by calling them ‘m’lady’ or some other stupid shit, then bitch on the internet about how women don’t like nice guys, they just want hard motherfuckers. You clearly actually think you’re better than other people with all this bullshit about being Ferdinand the Bull. That you can just think yourself above others. That your idleness is somehow an indication that you’re too good for your circumstances. You don’t DESERVE to be harassed by your boss. You don’t DESERVE to be shot down by women. It’s NOT FAIR that you have to work construction.
Man, I should have left this thread long ago, and I would have if I didn’t know other people weren’t getting something out of this. I sincerely hope that someone not named Dave takes this to heart and makes a positive change for himself. I hope Dave does as well, but I can’t maintain such unrealistic expectations.
shaving that horrendous excuse for a moustache would lead to 400% more sex at least
14 pages of this?! Things are slow on GAL these days…
OP: On what planet do you look twelve years old?
You look your age. Please… go talk to someone. Find someone that will provide pro bono counseling, someone who will lend a helping hand with their life experience… someone!
You can continue to post on here, but preferably not with self-destructive, stupid crap. Although I can relate to you in some ways, it’s played out.
You need to get things straightened out before you find a woman. Everyone has baggage, but the baggage you are currently carrying is HEAVY, and a significant other can’t carry it, especially in the beginning of a relationship, when there is not even a deep life bond yet!
I still can’t get over you quitting a solid job to be at the one you’re at now. If I recall correctly (I don’t want to scroll back or skim right now), your former boss told you what a good job you did, which means you were better than your ill-behaved co-workers, perhaps not in rank or skill, but in your character and how you work, which might prove some here wrong in regards to our assumed pot-induced slack.
You and no one else deserves to be mistreated, but it will happen so long as you are living. So you better toughen the fuck up a bit if you want to at least be a guy who can deal with life and have a normal life. You think you’re not going to run into mean people ever again, or that people are going to always deal with you with kid gloves? I am not going down the tough-love road here, but this is how it’s going to be, especially for people who lack enormous power and resources (which is what, a fraction of a percent of the people yo might ever encounter?).
This is the OP. I just thought I would provide some closure to this thread at a little under a year since the original posting.
O, what a little insignificant piece of dog crap I was originally posting this. Even in that space of time, much of what I had been bitching about is now irrelevant due to personal growth and change, life experience, and having just seen more of the world. In the time since posting this, I have served burgers, stacked palettes, worked in warehouses, painted houses and other various jobs and interacted with other sectors of society. I have received some attention from young women and it had nothing to do with being 5’6" and less than 130 lbs.
TL;DR, growing up makes you stronger and you realize it makes the woes of adolescence irrelevant due to character strength. It has less to due with testosterone level and more your own drive and discipline.
Still cant grow a beard but it is starting to come in as chicken feathers. FUCK!
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Also something i have learned is that part of a man is just doing what you want. I watched something about this where it was stated that one’s position as a man is in his capacity to act according to his own will. But to be a good person it is important to ask one’s self, do I really wish to live in this way?
I did an experiment earlier this year and actually took some of the suggestions on this board. I had around 1800 dollars saved through the luxury of simple living and spending, but quit working for four months until i only had about 200 dollars to my name. I then experienced a quiet, yet intense desperation as i struggled to become re-employed and build my assets once again. But it had been foreign to me as someone who lived with his parents until 19 and never had money issues. i learned that part of being a man is providing for yourself through any means necessary, as is done by families in third world countries or in the United States alike.
And i’ve done the experiment someone suggested of going to a strip cub. All i can say is meh. If you think being a man is someone related to getting sex, you are just misinformed and part of the problem.
Good job, Dave. You’re beginning to sound like someone I wouldn’t mind my daughter dating.
I think it comes down to being willing to act without the consent of a committee or some sort of authoritative other, which can take courage. And yes, one should check oneself - if you consistently act according to your will without regard to the consequences or wisdom of the choices you’re making, you’re sort of a sociopath.
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Sex is obviously relevant to being a man. I don’t know how you can disagree, but if you do, then I’m not sure I can really convince you otherwise. It’s inherently relevant to being a mammal, period. And it’s significant to every culture of humans, as far as I’m aware, in the world. Maybe you can find an obscure one where this is not really the case. But that being said, I’m definitely NOT one of those folks who advocates going to strip clubs. I think strip clubs are boring as fuck. Not interested. I think I mentioned that before in this thread.
How did you live on 1600 bucks for 4 months? I guess you’re not responsible for any monthly bills? That would basically cover food if you’re cooking a lot, and maybe a little bit of recreation if you’re very very frugal. So it sounds like you’re still living off other people’s labors. I suggest you stop quitting jobs and stop spending months at a time being unemployed. The fact that you spent 4 months earlier THIS YEAR as ‘an experiment’ makes me think you’ve learned less than you suggest you have. Being a lazy fuck was sort of your M.O. before, and it sounds like it still is. Not sure what your experiment was in the first place, considering you’ve spent most of your life unemployed already.
I am very politically liberal. I do not believe that any man is an island, I believe in the concept of welfare, I believe that none of us are entirely responsible for our own destinies, etc. But Jesus dude. Stop mooching. Start being a productive fucking person. You clearly haven’t done that yet. And it IS essential to being a man.
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I understand completely why you would think that, but actually this is one case where you are wrong, a moocher i was not. I earned every dollar that i lived off in that period. I had around 1900 actually after my last couple paychecks. I have three roommates so my rent is 270 plus utilities which are 50-100 for my share, figure a monthly phone bill of 30 and bada bing. I pretty much starved, as well, but that teaches you a lot of things too, and i feel like a have a good base to start taking health and nutrition seriously and actually get a gym membership.
Sex is relevant to being a man yes but even as a man who doesn’t have a girlfriend and hasn’t had sex, my point is that it shouldn’t stop me from doing what i want to do. Nor should being 5’6" or 5 8 or whatever i am. Nor should weighing a hundred pounds due to cigarettes and substance abuse, but i really want to start eating right and get in the gym because i don’t feel good and i look obviously like a drug user, which is not going to improve my employment prospects.
There are plenty of bullshit videos on Youtube already of guys whining about this lord of the virgin angst and the friend zone, and i realized the fallacy one day when i saw myself in a friend of mine complaining about what i once had. Buddhists say one of the steps of enlightenment is compassion, or recognizing yourself in others.
I’ll move on. Yeah i have periods of indolence but when i work, i really work. I want to save a bunch and actually move to a city that’s decent.
Also the fact that I want to actually do something with my life. I have friends who are 10, 15 years older than me (i’m 22 now) and still essentially doing a parody of what i am now, that being working menial labor, living in shared housing, using recreational drugs and jerking off. Er, that last one i quit though, along with cigarettes. Widow Palm and her five daughters weren’t doing me any favors. Nor was Mr. Camel and his black lung.
So the secret is to figure out what fatal flaw led them to have the same fate. One friend i know said he was just plain stuck in his own head for 10-15 years, so i think humility, open mindedness and discipline will be my allies. Persistence too. I have demons, as we all do, but I think it is possible to channel what might otherwise be negative forces, such as self loathing and nihilism into productive effort.
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I"m still stuck on the math. Indulge me. 270 for rent. 70 average utilities. 30 phone. That’s 370 per month in bills. 4 months of that is 1480. You said you spent 1700 dollars over that period (1900 to start, finished with 200). You’re telling me 220 dollars was sufficient for food, laundry, and any other basic expenses during that time? Just doesn’t add up. Somebody was paying for a part of your bare necessities.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ogQ0uge06o
As i said, i didn’t eat a lot. I did not do laundry a lot either, and the laundry that i did was furnished by what i had available beforehand. i went swimming a lot.
Lose your need to superimpose the motherly figure into little Davey’s life. That was time ago, he off’n doin’ his own thang now. He dun groan.