[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
Guys~ while you are pouring your hearts out trying to get through to this twat he just keeps pushing your buttons and upping the ante to get more.
I’m pretty sure this whole persona is completely contrived.[/quote]
Younger guys such as myself, do read the advice and knowledge put down here. Regardless of whether you get through to this kid, I take value from what you guys write in this thread.
Thanks.
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
Guys~ while you are pouring your hearts out trying to get through to this twat he just keeps pushing your buttons and upping the ante to get more.
I’m pretty sure this whole persona is completely contrived.[/quote]
x2 the OP is just a mediocre troll
[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
Oh for fuck’s sake, kid…[/quote]
Didn’t you say you were like 25-26 or something? If so, where do you get off calling a dude who’s almost 22 a kid? Just curious.
[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
You keep claiming to be working on things, and just return to continue to label yourself as a loser and try and make rationalizations about the way you are.[/quote]
Should I stop rationalizing myself to myself? When you think about it, who do you really have to answer to besides your boss or other people who have control over your life? Making myself my own enemy isn’t going to get me anywhere. I think I respect myself a lot more than you think. That’s part of the reason I don’t work anymore than I have to, and also the fact that I want to someday have a career making art. I’d rather do something that heals my soul than gradually destroys it and leeches it out slowly every day through my ears.
Now - you are right about the discipline part. Even if my dream is to do music / whatever for a living, I can’t live an idyllic lifestyle if I want that to be my livelihood. When I’m not working a day job or whatever, every second I spend has to be spent moving toward that creative goal. It’s not a cakewalk.
This is probably idealistic bullshit though, and the likelihood is that instead of making my dream I’ll end up working at Valu-Martwhatever when I’m 40 years old.
The main difference between you and me at this point is that I haven’t gotten a girl pregnant. When you look like me, having sex on a great enough frequency to get a female pregnant is not something you are really in danger of.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think the world owes me jack shit. I don’t really shirk (monetary) responsibility either, I don’t write checks that I don’t have the money for. I have no debt right now, but also no credit.
I also spend very little money. I take free hand outs when I can, and I’m smart about where I buy things and how often and when I do. I live an almost monkish lifestyle. You could say I’m on a spiritual journey, which is part of the reason I feel unmotivated to work enough to start climbing any sort of ladder. It’s tough to rationalize climbing a corporate ladder when you realize the only ladder you need to climb is the one toward enlightenment.
This will be for a few things. I always save a bit of money to cover rent for awhile when I change location, but I would also like to have a car at some point. Worst case scenario I can live out of it, if I have to.
[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
Be aware that you probably aren’t going to get anywhere in psychology without a Master’s at the absolute minimum. [/quote]
Then it sounds like school isn’t for me. Loans are are a thing, and I get depressed thinking about it because I couldn’t ever see myself in a suit and tie sitting behind a desk correcting papers, or a CEO / management position, or anything like that. It’s liberating to think about not ending up like that, but the alternative isn’t great either, probably only a little better than what I have at present.
[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
Put yourself out there and talk to people in a friendly way. Don’t allow yourself to be used, but do favours for others out of genuine kindness, not because you want things from them (this is the difference between being a kind person and a “nice guy”). Most people will appreciate your kindness and reciprocate. [/quote]
I do this every day. Problem is, I am “Dave the nice guy” to girls…which brings me to #7…but you said to not worry about women so I guess I won’t. My cock can just kind of chill / rot in my pants for awhile, hopefully I won’t have E.D. or whatnot by the time I get to actually use it. I think I would commit suicide if that happened.
[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
8. Appreciate what you’ve accomplished. [/quote]
Two years ago, I was penniless and in a psych ward with no direction whatsoever in life. So I am making steps, just slowly.
[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
10. Give back. [/quote]
+100000
To me this is the main difference between a child and an adult. Children (and adolescents - I consider adolescents overgrown children) are actually more heartless than adults. They don’t have empathy, or compassion. I used to be that person, but then I realized how much of an illusion I am to myself and how much I could simply seek into the pit of myself and stagnate, never getting anywhere, never letting the light in or making any forward progress.
Giving back to me means being a friend who is there when people need him, making jokes to lighten someone’s day, just lending a hand, surprising someone with a cool , cheap, yet awesome x-mas gift which means enough to be highly important to the person yet not enough to buy into the whole Western materialism thing.
[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
I’m also always happy to hear about progress you’ve made. [/quote]
I’ll probably start a body profile on here just for the hell of it, feel free to monitor it. However, my goals are probably going to be a bit different than others on here. I’m going to take the recommendation of getting active, but it will be activities like longboarding, Parkour and freerunning. I like the idea of being flexible, fast, light and maneuverable, yet not without some strength.
Thanks man. I really appreciate your help.
Thanks, I love you too!
[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
[quote]dave670 wrote:
[quote]BrickHead wrote:
Being a formerly clinically depressed person myself, as I admitted several times before on this board, I believe you are lost and depressed because of the way you repeatedly express yourself. It almost seems like you are taking on the mentality and behaviors of a bum/do-nothing to prove to yourself that you are a loser of some sort. [/quote]
It’s an interesting psychological phenomenon, but within stoner culture, a lot of people (college kids) who start smoking pot start just to do it for fun, but over time, inevitably, they actually end up embodying characteristics of stoner culture itself. My brain is permanently changed now and I have to deal with that. It’s not entirely for the worse, it’s almost like as I am growing up, some of my mind is regaining the mindset of a 12 year old. But, again, that obviously is not good for employment. I want to go to school at some point, probably for Psychology. Believe it or not I’m really not that stupid, though I certainly wouldn’t go to the lengths of saying I had high IQ or lauding myself.
[quote]BrickHead wrote:
It’s not going to be easy to heal your mind and change your outlook and state of well-being or lack thereof. [/quote]
I started with self-love. I just decided one day, since i started this thread, to like myself no matter what. It’s really hard to do, because I’m in that phase of life where young people look to others for validation still, i.e. teachers, bosses, girls who may or may not fuck you. Granted, I would probably take better care of myself if I loved myself more, I wouldn’t smoke or drink or go days on nothing but cigarettes and Mio energy water. Yes I have body issues.
[quote]BrickHead wrote:
I have a sedentary job and was never taught how to use tools (most American-Jewish men do not work with their hands). Now I jump whenever my carpenter father-in-law needs help around his yard and home. I really am surprised by you. [/quote]
I grew up on a farm doing labor every day, I’ve kind of gotten the manual labor thing out of my system I think.
[quote]BrickHead wrote:
You talk about your babyish attribute, your face, yet quit a man’s job! What’s a more manly job than construction? Not many. [/quote]
Is it? Is a man someone who works a manly job so as to gain manliness by association, or is a man someone who is content to play music, sit in the field and look at flowers like Ferdinand the bull, confident enough in himself to know that that’s just what he wants and he doesn’t give a crap? It’s interesting.
[quote]BrickHead wrote:
Also, speaking of women. You think some grown woman is going to want to put up with some guy who quits a job because his co-workers are giving him crap, especially when there are expenses to be met and health insurance to be had or children to take care of? You think she’s going to want to work and come home to some guy smoking pot and eating fast food on the couch and playing video games or writing weepy, angst-laden poetry? [/quote]
At least I’m not a fat stoner. 5’6"-5’7" and 109 this morning. I weigh less than some 12 year olds. Yet the beard is just starting to come in slowly, so perhaps soon I shall be a prime cut above the average 12 year old.
[quote]BrickHead wrote:
A woman who is right for you is not going to give a rat’s ass about your boyish face or slender and hairless physique if you handle yourself like a man! Get a grip! [/quote]
I really hope so, I hope women are less shallow than that. To tell the truth I would rather look a bit boyish than old and gross, but you have to look old enough. Once I stop getting mistaken for a teenager it’ll be good.
[quote]BrickHead wrote:
Because you are anonymous here, would you mind telling if you had good relations with your dad or if he served as a good role model? Mine was sinfully negligent and I do not speak to him. Many men who struggle with your issues did not have involved fathers. [/quote]
My dad was successful in life, has a good job etc, however he was a pot smoker and never forced any ideas of masculinity or ideas onto me, his philosophy was to let me figure it out and be who I will be. That said, he disagrees with where I’m taking my life. I admire the man tremendously and look up to him, but I could never get any real answers out of him about life advice.
[/quote]
Oh for fuck’s sake, kid…
I’m getting sick of trying to help you. You keep claiming to be working on things, and just return to continue to label yourself as a loser and try and make rationalizations about the way you are.
I remember once being in a similar spot to you: I was a 21 year-old single father, and a terrible one. I had quit school to work in a dead end job and could barely scrape together enough money for rent and food, though I always had enough for booze, weed, and cigarettes, which were a daily thing. My place was a dump. I was depressed. I felt so alone all the time: I repulsed women and my shitty attitudes and behaviours had driven away all my friends (and realistically, who would want someone like that in their life?). I was skinny, weak and insecure about my masculinity. I stayed inside playing video games for days on end. I made excuses for my actions and fell into a pit of despair. I was a fucking mess without any sort of direction. Nobody believed in me, including myself.
Now, 4 years later, everything has changed. I have a close relationship with my family and especially my son. I went back to school, finished my degree, and am now in a difficult professional program at a respected university. The gym has filled the hole that mind-altering substances once did (though I did only just quit smoking a month ago). I live on my own and pay for my own schooling. I live frugally, but don’t want for anything, and am currently saving money. I have a great bunch of friends that I think of like family, and they treat me the same. I’m no player, but definitely above average with women now, and recently started a relationship with a close friend. The end result? While things are not as idyllic as this paragraph probably makes my life sound, I’m quite happy overall and not angry at the world anymore.
How do you get from point A to point B? By becoming a man. Becoming a man is not about what you look like or the job you do. It is not about rationalizing why it is okay to be a useless lump. It is a mindset. It is about objectively examining what you are not happy with in your life, and cutting the bullshit, rather than complaining or making rationalizations about why you’re not happy. Complaining and making excuses accomplishes nothing other than driving others that want to help you away. Becoming a man is about gritting your teeth and actually working hard to make progress on fixing your problems. Being a man is about accepting that you are not special and the world owes you nothing. It is about growing up and accepting responsibility rather than shirking it.
It’s never easy, and the setbacks can be frustrating enough to drive you to tears. But where weaker men give up and fall back into their old patterns, you must persevere, for your dreams are goals worth fighting for. I can honestly say that all the hard work I put in was well worth it, and I could never go back to living that way.
While this post may sound self-aggrandizing, that is not my purpose. I am not special. I did not do everything alone, and I am grateful for the help I received along the way from family and friends. Anyone can make these kinds of changes if they are truly determined to make positive changes. There are many posters on this board who have overcome significant adversity and flourished, many of which have probably had it much harder than you or I.
Here’s what you need to do:
Quit fucking complaining and rationalizing. Seriously. Everybody on this board is annoyed by your attitude and nobody wants to help you anymore because of it. I’m sure it’s the same in real life.
Put down the pipe, get off the computer, and go find a job that will put food on the table and pay the bills. No matter how shitty, no job is beneath you if that is what you need to make do.
After you have a source of income, join some kind of physical activity that you enjoy. Also, start saving some money.
Set realistic goals (“realistic” means they have to be achievable, and that includes accounting for setbacks), both short- and long-term. Make a plan of action about how to achieve those goals. Your plan need not be ironclad: if what you’re doing isn’t working (be patient before deciding that it’s not working), change it. That said, committing to your plan is essential.
Find out what you need to do to get into the school you want to and do it. This includes sorting out your financials. Be realistic. Be aware that you probably aren’t going to get anywhere in psychology without a Master’s at the absolute minimum.
Put yourself out there and talk to people in a friendly way. Don’t allow yourself to be used, but do favours for others out of genuine kindness, not because you want things from them (this is the difference between being a kind person and a “nice guy”). Most people will appreciate your kindness and reciprocate.
Stop worrying about women. Once you get your shit together and are genuinely content with your life, then you can make this more of a priority. Your attitude is needy and insecure, and your life is in shambles. I didn’t start getting better with women until I gained enough confidence to know that I’m happy with my life and who I am, with or without women; a fun person to be with; and stopped worrying about how much I’m [not] getting laid and what others think about my sex life. While variety can be fun, this whole male culture of collecting notches reeks of insecurity. Sex is fun, and can also be a great bonding experience if it’s with someone you feel a genuine connection with. That’s it. Who fucking cares what your bros think? The guys who always talk about their lays don’t get it nearly as much as you think, trust me on that one.
Appreciate what you’ve accomplished. There will be obstacles, but what is important is how you handle them. While you may not be progressing on all your goals at the same time, take a step back, look at the big picture, and take pride in what you have accomplished and how far you’ve come. Don’t be a dick though, acknowledge where others have helped you (always give credit where credit is due!) and let them know that you appreciate what they’ve done for you.
Never stop growing. To stagnate is to fall behind. You don’t have to become the “self-improvement guy” who is so obsessed with growth that he doesn’t know how to let loose, but when life hands you opportunities to learn and grow, take them. It’s important to be able to look at obstacles, take them as opportunities for growth, and be able to laugh about them later. Celebrate little victories and learn from failures.
Give back. If you’ve reached step 10, you’ve accomplished a lot. It’s an easy trap to become a pompous asshole, and we’re all guilty of this at times. To have come so far from a rough place while being able to embrace humility and show genuine kindness towards others is the mark of a real man and a great human being. Why do you think I’m trying to write this fucking incredibly personal novel of all the meaningful things I’ve learned when I have important things I should be doing?
This is what you need to do to get your shit together and move towards self-actualization. People will help (and sometimes hinder) you along your journey, but the biggest determinant of your success is YOU. Remember that while you are owed nothing, you have the potential to achieve so much more than you think can.
If you have questions or want advice to guide you through overcoming specific hurdles, I will always be here to help. I’m also always happy to hear about progress you’ve made. However, if you want to continue to post to rationalize your situation or complain about how your meager efforts were met with failure, then go shove it up your ass. I will always be willing to help someone who wants to make a genuine effort to change, but I have no sympathy for someone who just wants to wallow in self-pity.
Remember that the future is what you make it to be and that it starts today. You have all the tools you need to fix your life. Now go fucking do something about it.[/quote]
Outstanding.
You are wasting some good years kiddo.
[quote]StevenF wrote:
You are wasting some good years kiddo. [/quote]
Am I really thought? It seems youth is incredibly overrated to me, so the sooner I can do away with it the better. Everything is just more painful and awkward when you’re young, to be honest I have spent most of my youth just wishing I was older. When I finally have a beard, I won’t be 12 anymore, and I’ll know I’m a man.
[quote]dave670 wrote:
[quote]StevenF wrote:
You are wasting some good years kiddo. [/quote]
Am I really thought? It seems youth is incredibly overrated to me, so the sooner I can do away with it the better. Everything is just more painful and awkward when you’re young, to be honest I have spent most of my youth just wishing I was older. When I finally have a beard, I won’t be 12 anymore, and I’ll know I’m a man. [/quote]
You must go through the pain and akwardness in order for your older age (when you get there) to be worth anything. You wanna be 35 yrs old with the maturity of a college freshman?
Everyday, at every age is an opporuntiy.
[quote]dave670 wrote:
[quote]StevenF wrote:
You are wasting some good years kiddo. [/quote]
Am I really thought? It seems youth is incredibly overrated to me, so the sooner I can do away with it the better. Everything is just more painful and awkward when you’re young, to be honest I have spent most of my youth just wishing I was older. When I finally have a beard, I won’t be 12 anymore, and I’ll know I’m a man. [/quote]
SHUT UP ABOUT THE FUCKING BEARD. I’m 32. I still can’t grow sideburns. All I can do is a goatee at best. It doesn’t fucking matter, at all.
And I seriously doubt you’ll be saying youth is overrated in 10+ years. Youth is underrated, if anything. I’m in great shape for being in my 30’s, but I would LOVE to have my 20 year old body back. I was way less muscular, but I had a much younger face (I looked young for my age in my 20’s) and it was awesome. I have shitty forehead wrinkles and a hairline that’s receded so much I almost have to shave my head not to look like an idiot. And my feet hurt… #oldmanfeels #andimnoteventhatold
This has got to be a troll job. But some people really are this kind of dumb and clueless nowadays so it’s hard to even tell.
[quote]dave670 wrote:
[quote]StevenF wrote:
You are wasting some good years kiddo. [/quote]
Am I really thought? It seems youth is incredibly overrated to me, so the sooner I can do away with it the better. Everything is just more painful and awkward when you’re young, to be honest I have spent most of my youth just wishing I was older. When I finally have a beard, I won’t be 12 anymore, and I’ll know I’m a man. [/quote]
Once again~ how can you possibly know that? You are currently as old as you have ever been, and there are no garuantees that anything gets better due to passage of time.
Talk about cognative fallacy- thinking that I’ll be happy if… Or I’ll be happy when.
Stop placing conditions on happiness.
I got another job, I am a porter at a bar. I make minimum wage at present, with the potential to make more with time, but it’s a start. It feels good to make money, as lack of that has been a source of stress lately. Now I just need to get a car, get a bit more financially stable, finish puberty, get a girlfriend, and I should be set in life.
I understand I am somewhat tongue-in-cheek at times, but rest assured this thread is actually in earnest, just with humorous and somewhat sardonic overtones.
[quote]dave670 wrote:
Didn’t you say you were like 25-26 or something? If so, where do you get off calling a dude who’s almost 22 a kid? Just curious. [/quote]
Age is irrelevant, as you still think like a boy.
[quote]
Should I stop rationalizing myself to myself? When you think about it, who do you really have to answer to besides your boss or other people who have control over your life? Making myself my own enemy isn’t going to get me anywhere. I think I respect myself a lot more than you think. That’s part of the reason I don’t work anymore than I have to, and also the fact that I want to someday have a career making art. I’d rather do something that heals my soul than gradually destroys it and leeches it out slowly every day through my ears.
Now - you are right about the discipline part. Even if my dream is to do music / whatever for a living, I can’t live an idyllic lifestyle if I want that to be my livelihood. When I’m not working a day job or whatever, every second I spend has to be spent moving toward that creative goal. It’s not a cakewalk.
This is probably idealistic bullshit though, and the likelihood is that instead of making my dream I’ll end up working at Valu-Martwhatever when I’m 40 years old.
The main difference between you and me at this point is that I haven’t gotten a girl pregnant. When you look like me, having sex on a great enough frequency to get a female pregnant is not something you are really in danger of. [/quote]
You’re still rationalizing.
If you continue on the path you’re on, you’ll be working at the Valu-Mart when you’re 40 anyway, and won’t even have the knowledge that you tried to make your dream a reality or the experience that came with it. All you’ll have is resentment that you were a pussy that gave up without even trying.
And guess what? Most people don’t get to realize their dreams. Even for those who do, at some point you will realize that your dream job is still a job. Working a job you hate to put food on the table for your family is not an easy thing to do, but it is the kind of thing a man does. Quitting a job he needs while barely able to support himself is the kind of thing a boy does.
And FFS, will you shut up about the insecurity about your masculinity already? If you’re upset about being a “nice guy”, then you’re not nice. You’re doing favours because you want something in return. You know what a “nice guy” is? A guy who lets somebody else use him for favours because that somebody else is attractive to him and then gets upset because he feels he is owed love/sex. Do favours because you want to, without expecting anything in return. That’s the difference between being “nice” and being “kind”. Being nice is an action: people act nice all the time, that doesn’t mean jack shit. Kindness is a personality trait, and one that is much rarer and something most people consider worthy of respect.
That, and the puberty thing. I’m sure the women on this board can confirm that they’d rather date a young-looking secure guy than a jacked, bearded lumberjack who’s a total basket case of insecurity.
[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
You’re still rationalizing.
If you continue on the path you’re on, you’ll be working at the Valu-Mart when you’re 40 anyway, and won’t even have the knowledge that you tried to make your dream a reality or the experience that came with it. All you’ll have is resentment that you were a pussy that gave up without even trying.
And guess what? Most people don’t get to realize their dreams. Even for those who do, at some point you will realize that your dream job is still a job. Working a job you hate to put food on the table for your family is not an easy thing to do, but it is the kind of thing a man does. Quitting a job he needs while barely able to support himself is the kind of thing a boy does.
And FFS, will you shut up about the insecurity about your masculinity already? If you’re upset about being a “nice guy”, then you’re not nice. You’re doing favours because you want something in return. You know what a “nice guy” is? A guy who lets somebody else use him for favours because that somebody else is attractive to him and then gets upset because he feels he is owed love/sex. Do favours because you want to, without expecting anything in return. That’s the difference between being “nice” and being “kind”. Being nice is an action: people act nice all the time, that doesn’t mean jack shit. Kindness is a personality trait, and one that is much rarer and something most people consider worthy of respect.
That, and the puberty thing. I’m sure the women on this board can confirm that they’d rather date a young-looking secure guy than a jacked, bearded lumberjack who’s a total basket case of insecurity.[/quote]
I’ll put it this way, I’m not an unkind person. I have stuff to work on, like confidence and some general modicums of polite conversation and mannerisms, but I am far from the bottom of the barrel. Of course it’s egotistical for me to say that, so I’ll just say I suck instead.
I don’t know what I have to offer women besides my whimsical humor and general wacky personality to be honest. I think so much about the physical stuff, and to be honest it is probably a surrogate for confidence that is manifesting as physical dissatisfaction because I have nothing else to feel good about. Like I’ve been starting sentences beginning with “If only I was…” for so long time. If only I was taller, hairier, older looking, etc.
That said I don’t know what a smaller, shorter, and smooth guy really has to offer a lady at a physical level . How can she feel secure in giving herself to a man who isn’t really fully developed physically? I dunno man it’ just such a bummer for me.
People do, however, consistently tell me that I need to work on liking myself, and also that I am an old soul, i.e. I worry and think far too much for my age. True story, a college professor, before I dropped out, recognized me as a worrier and obsessive (I was actually a good student, when I applied myself), but he took me aside and told me I needed to lighten up, play beer pong, and have random meaningless sex while I am young and still able to.
I took the beer pong advice. Still working on the other two.
[quote]dave670 wrote:
I’ll put it this way, I’m not an unkind person. I have stuff to work on, like confidence and some general modicums of polite conversation and mannerisms, but I am far from the bottom of the barrel. Of course it’s egotistical for me to say that, so I’ll just say I suck instead.[/quote]
No, that’s actually a pretty good way to reflect on yourself. Telling yourself things like “you suck” is not a productive criticism. It is affixing a negative label to yourself. Don’t do that: it creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. Saying you need to work on your self-confidence and social skills is productive criticism. Focus on the the kind of person you would like to be rather than on a negative perception of where you are now (e.g. “I would like to be more confident” vs “I lack confidence”). I like to think of myself as an eternal work in progress in all ways.
You seem to be able to identify what you need to fix. The next step is to make a plan of action and do it. Get on that.
Beating yourself up over things you can’t change (i.e. physical development) is pointless and harmful to your growth. As a short Asian guy, I [used to] feel your pain. Masculinity is 99% attitude though.
[quote]dave670 wrote:
That said I don’t know what a smaller, shorter, and smooth guy really has to offer a lady at a physical level . How can she feel secure in giving herself to a man who isn’t really fully developed physically? I dunno man it’ just such a bummer for me.
[/quote]
Do yourself and all of us a favor. Go to a mall on a Saturday afternoon and see the men walking around with women. Come back here with an estimated percentage of the men with women who are 6’0" and handsome, and who might even APPEAR as if they are loaded (you know, getting in and out of their expensive cars). If you’re not walking around Manhattan or the Northshore of Long Island, chances are you will find few.
Chances are you will see plenty of bald, fat, nerdy, short, slovenly, and mostly ordinary looking men with women. Whether the women the majority of these men are so good looking themselves is a different story. But just the fact that there are plenty of ordinary or physically flawed men walking around with women disproves your theory.
Your’e thinking too god damned much about this stuff and making it overly complicated. Perhaps you need to keep busier on top of this new job of yours and GET AROUND PEOPLE. With the way you’re talking and for what you want (eg, a woman, respect, connections, etc.), you are, judging from your posts, taking on the life of an overly-introspective loner. Being a loner here and there is fine. I myself get thoroughly exhausted from too much socializing; I mean mentally devastated. But being a constant loner will not get you what you’re seeking, one of them being getting over your hangup about your looks.
How many close friends do you have? How often are you around people OUT OF WORK? If you about three to five close friends, indulging in some interests and hobbies, and regularly getting around people, I think you would land a woman and we will see how fast your hangup either goes away or greatly diminishes.
Like the broken record I have become with people like you, in my vain attempts to relate because of my personal experiences, I will again repeat what I have implied before: 1) If you’re concerned about being skinny, eat more and lift weights. 2) Go to a qualified doctor if you’re so concerned about your T level. 3) Move on eventually from this minimum wage job and get your ass back to a real sort of job you had before and then down the line, change careers considering you are beyond manual labor and you find it unfulfilling. 4) Get around more good people and find out if if you are truly socially and romantically limited by your lack of a freaking beard. 5) If you really do not think some women will feel secure with your thin stature, then get a short or skinny woman, considering in all likelihood you will not be landing 5’10"+, buxom Amazons! You can be happy with a more diminutive woman, right?
[quote]Lift or die wrote:
Younger guys such as myself, do read the advice and knowledge put down here. Regardless of whether you get through to this kid, I take value from what you guys write in this thread.
Thanks. [/quote]
x2
[quote]BrickHead wrote:
If you really do not think some women will feel secure with your thin stature, then get a short or skinny woman, considering in all likelihood you will not be landing 5’10"+, buxom Amazons! You can be happy with a more diminutive woman, right? [/quote]
Nah, it’s the same deal as when women say they aren’t into Asians. Yeah, some women will be absolutely against it. But most of the time, if you can play your cards right, it’s not an absolute thing. It’s just like how most guys would look the other way to some extent on physical imperfections in their lady if she makes up for it elsewhere.
That said, I do love my tiny women. They call them fun-sized for a reason 
[quote]BrickHead wrote:
If you really do not think some women will feel secure with your thin stature, then get a short or skinny woman, considering in all likelihood you will not be landing 5’10"+, buxom Amazons! You can be happy with a more diminutive woman, right? [/quote]
Absolutely, yeah it’s kind of a non-issue. I’m 5’7", and there are plenty of women who are 5’7" or shorter out there. I’m shorter than the average man, but if it’s a problem for a woman she’s probably not the type of woman I am interested in anyway.
[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
Nah, it’s the same deal as when women say they aren’t into Asians. Yeah, some women will be absolutely against it. But most of the time, if you can play your cards right, it’s not an absolute thing. It’s just like how most guys would look the other way to some extent on physical imperfections in their lady if she makes up for it elsewhere.
[/quote]
What kind of discrimination in the dating game are you up against, as an Asian? I have some Asian guy friends, they tell me that they’re always assumed to be less aggressive or “masculine”, which is a type of assumption I can understand because I know how it feels.
Then again, you have Bruce Lee, I don’t believe there was a man alive who would look him in the eye and tell him he was anything less than a real man.
[quote]dave670 wrote:
[quote]BrickHead wrote:
If you really do not think some women will feel secure with your thin stature, then get a short or skinny woman, considering in all likelihood you will not be landing 5’10"+, buxom Amazons! You can be happy with a more diminutive woman, right? [/quote]
Absolutely, yeah it’s kind of a non-issue. I’m 5’7", and there are plenty of women who are 5’7" or shorter out there. I’m shorter than the average man, but if it’s a problem for a woman she’s probably not the type of woman I am interested in anyway.
[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
Nah, it’s the same deal as when women say they aren’t into Asians. Yeah, some women will be absolutely against it. But most of the time, if you can play your cards right, it’s not an absolute thing. It’s just like how most guys would look the other way to some extent on physical imperfections in their lady if she makes up for it elsewhere.
[/quote]
What kind of discrimination in the dating game are you up against, as an Asian? I have some Asian guy friends, they tell me that they’re always assumed to be less aggressive or “masculine”, which is a type of assumption I can understand because I know how it feels.
Then again, you have Bruce Lee, I don’t believe there was a man alive who would look him in the eye and tell him he was anything less than a real man. [/quote]
You completely lack empathy with women if you think any of this is actually related to how women see men. Bruce Lee? What woman your age even knows who the fuck Bruce Lee was? Maybe a vague familiarity with the name?
And every man is up against discrimination in the dating world. I’ve been shot down by women who say they don’t like muscular guys. Plenty of women prefer ‘fluffy’ dudes. Often they can be persuaded by a killer personality, but not always. Some girls won’t date a dude under 6’0. Some girls won’t date a guy with a beard. Some won’t date a guy without one. Women are going to be discriminating if they have any sense of self-worth. And really, discriminating is an inappropriate word for this. It’s just preference.
[quote]flipcollar wrote:
You completely lack empathy with women if you think any of this is actually related to how women see men. Bruce Lee? What woman your age even knows who the fuck Bruce Lee was? Maybe a vague familiarity with the name?
And every man is up against discrimination in the dating world. I’ve been shot down by women who say they don’t like muscular guys. Plenty of women prefer ‘fluffy’ dudes. Often they can be persuaded by a killer personality, but not always. Some girls won’t date a dude under 6’0. Some girls won’t date a guy with a beard. Some won’t date a guy without one. Women are going to be discriminating if they have any sense of self-worth. And really, discriminating is an inappropriate word for this. It’s just preference. [/quote]
Well, we, as men, have a tendency to forget that women are less likely to be attracted to a man at a physical level, or at least for that to be the overriding component in the relationship. So often I think it’s just down to whether they “like you” or not. If they view you as immature physically, they’re likely to associate that to patterns of behavior in their own mind, and get the impression that you’ll just be a fuckboy with the maturity of a 17-year old and raging hormones.
Then there’s the exceptions, like Michael Cera, Jared Leto (when he was young), Justin Bieber. These are “men” who have carved out futures and done quite well for themselves, and I daresay they have gotten laid more than me or anyone on this board.
Maybe I just need to be famous?
At present, I can’t tell whether when girls say I’m “cute” whether that means that they would fuck me or if I’m cute in the teddy bear sense. Whichever way, my testosterone jumps like crazy when I hear that sort of shit, but I don’t like to be excited for nothing.
Anyways, I have two options - be patient and wait until I look way older and don’t need confidence as much because my appearance alone can sell me, or try the whole Doogie Hauser thing.
True story - the same thing happened to my dad. He was a doctor, and when he was first starting out his career (in his 20s) he looked young too. When he saw a patient, he or she would often ask if the real doctor was going to come in. He obviously didn’t give a fuck, maybe I need to learn something from my old man.