T Nation

2008 Election Update: Wk of Jan 21

The battle is on. Will it be Clinton/Edwards vs. Romney/Huckabee?

Who knows! Right now I’m taking a political science class based on this election and we have to write weekly responses. If you’ve been keeping up with the election, you might enjoy it:


2008 Presidential Election: Week of January 20th

Beginning with a close race in South Carolina, this past week indicates more information about what voters want, which has led to dropping out of a couple presidential hopefuls. Well…we now know what voters don’t want. The two candidates that just dropped out are Fred Thompson and the guy whose name rhymes with spinach. Thompson dropped out on Jan 21st and there is speculation he will be endorsing John McCain (the elderly Republican candidate with a wife that physically resembles an aged version of Paris Hilton). While Huckabee’s religious base in South Carolina showed wide support, the polls showed that McCain defeated Huckabee with 33% and 31% respectively.

Following the South Carobama-gets-double-teamed Democratic debate, two candidates appear to be collaborating in post-debate green rooms (not to be mistaken for a green house as neither candidate wishes to be connected to Al Gore’s Inconvenient gas). In the days preceding the South Carolina democratic primary, Hilary Clinton and John Edwards are trailing 2nd and 3rd and were likely discussing a potential alliance. Recent South Carolina polls show Obama leading with 44%, Hillary close at 38%, and Edwards trailing with 8%. Clinton may run a Clinton/Edwards ticket if she believes Edwards voters won’t stray to Obama. Additional benefits of a Clinton/Edwards ticket includes more voter support and the complementary combination of Clinton’s political experience with Edward’s abundance of emotional displays (important since Clinton only produces 2 tears per year – she’s saving the second one for a future appearance on Oprah!)

Being on the campaign road is not only expensive and emotionally taxing; it’s also journalist-infected and expensive. Did I mention expensive? McCain and Guilianni flew out of the south to do fundraising events up north while Huckabee has been forced reduce costs by decreasing traveling significantly. Republican Mitt Romney, leading delegates over McCain by 72-38 (CNN), is still too rich for his own good. Candidates require a lot of money, gasoline, and love while on the road. Hilary’s needs seem to be met as her number one supporter, Bill Clinton, intimately told us about how happy he is to be married to his best friend. I just hope there are benefits involved. Hilary seems to benefit from this friendship since Bill is a highly popular and influential supporter with lots of affairs – er – friends.

The difference between politics and non-political lives is that in politics you have to declare who your friends are in order to boost their popularity. One time in Middle School, I declared my well deserved endorsement for a very well-proportioned ASB candidate named Stacy. My endorsement was, for some reason, not printed in the school newspaper which I still believe to this day was the reason she lost. I totally had at least 2-3 people in the entire school that, had they seen my newspaper endorsement, would have voted for Stacy. Unlike Stacy though, the national newspapers have recently published an endorsement for Hillary Clinton by the United Farm Workers. This should solidify support for Hillary among farm workers, Latinos, and apple-eaters. As the candidates return to the campaign trail, I will personally continue to produce rhetoric so powerful that it will blow the hair off of John Edward’s head.