Unfortunately, I made a decision I will most likely regret for the rest of my life. I ran a test cycle (this week will have mark the 20th week of my cycle, will discuss more later), and it’s starting to hit me how silly of a choice this was. For the most part, I thought, I’m 20 years old and puberty is just about over for me and I’m fairly content with my height and all (right under 5’11’’ , pretty broad-shouldered) and recovering when you’re young is very easy.
Now I realize that nothing is guaranteed, there is a good chance I fused all my growth plates prematurely with the raloxifene that I dropped after 2-3 weeks, or elevated estradiol although I took care of it when it was slightly out of range on my midcycle bloodwork asap. My precycle bloods were what drew me to this in the first place; I was concerned with alot of basic puberty stuff like “Why am I not growing facial or body hair? My face seems to not have matured yet, whats going on? My libido has never been that high as well.” so I went to the doctor and he drew my testosterone at 200ng/dl but this was 4-5pm in the afternoon. I do it a few weeks later in the morning and it was 640 ng/dl. Fast forward 6-7 months from that before my precycle bloodwork it was 220ng/dl in the morning, weird huh. But now after this cycle I ran, I may have stunted things for good.
I want to know what the best way to go about recovering from this is. I ran HCG in the last 4 weeks at 750iu a week and my last injection is in 2 days. I will probably do another week of HCG, maybe 2000 IU spread out throughout the week and dose some Asin to keep estro low and just move on and let my body bounce back. I don’t want to use the Nolvadex as it’s confirmed to fuse growth plates, I may have done it with the raloxifene but who knows. Any tips on moving forward? I know I’ll probably go through hell for the next few months but it’s the price I have to pay and it’ll definitely keep me away from AAS forever unless I need TRT which I highly doubt…or at least I hope.
At the end of the day – I get that I’m young, didn’t run anything extremely suppressive, and it was my first cycle so the odds are in my favor for recovering. I’m just more so neurotic right now about the permanently damages I’ve done to my development that I will have to live with.