T Nation

20 Years Old, Want to Come Clean.

Long Read

Unfortunately, I made a decision I will most likely regret for the rest of my life. I ran a test cycle (this week will have mark the 20th week of my cycle, will discuss more later), and it’s starting to hit me how silly of a choice this was. For the most part, I thought, I’m 20 years old and puberty is just about over for me and I’m fairly content with my height and all (right under 5’11’’ , pretty broad-shouldered) and recovering when you’re young is very easy.

Now I realize that nothing is guaranteed, there is a good chance I fused all my growth plates prematurely with the raloxifene that I dropped after 2-3 weeks, or elevated estradiol although I took care of it when it was slightly out of range on my midcycle bloodwork asap. My precycle bloods were what drew me to this in the first place; I was concerned with alot of basic puberty stuff like “Why am I not growing facial or body hair? My face seems to not have matured yet, whats going on? My libido has never been that high as well.” so I went to the doctor and he drew my testosterone at 200ng/dl but this was 4-5pm in the afternoon. I do it a few weeks later in the morning and it was 640 ng/dl. Fast forward 6-7 months from that before my precycle bloodwork it was 220ng/dl in the morning, weird huh. But now after this cycle I ran, I may have stunted things for good.

I want to know what the best way to go about recovering from this is. I ran HCG in the last 4 weeks at 750iu a week and my last injection is in 2 days. I will probably do another week of HCG, maybe 2000 IU spread out throughout the week and dose some Asin to keep estro low and just move on and let my body bounce back. I don’t want to use the Nolvadex as it’s confirmed to fuse growth plates, I may have done it with the raloxifene but who knows. Any tips on moving forward? I know I’ll probably go through hell for the next few months but it’s the price I have to pay and it’ll definitely keep me away from AAS forever unless I need TRT which I highly doubt…or at least I hope.

At the end of the day – I get that I’m young, didn’t run anything extremely suppressive, and it was my first cycle so the odds are in my favor for recovering. I’m just more so neurotic right now about the permanently damages I’ve done to my development that I will have to live with.

Do not do this. Your estradiol will already be low as it is. The hcg will help raise it to a more normal level, but aromasin won’t actually stop the e2 conversion that’s caused by hcg. So whatever other e2 you have floating around—as a result of the testosterone ester unwinding until it hits critical decline—will be nuked by taking asin. And it’s a suicidal AI, so the recovery takes longer if you fuck it up.

You ran 20 weeks of testosterone. You’re well beyond suppression. You now live in Shutdown Land. Your body is making (functionally) zero of its own testosterone and has been in that state for ~18 weeks. Yes, you could recover on your own eventually, but that’s going to be fairly unpleasant. You should really consider using a SERM and attempting a proper pct. All the concern about growth plates fusing is somewhat silly when you factor in the other major variable here. You don’t have any testosterone. So I’m sorry to say that any extra growth you think you’re sparing by skipping a SERM is likely going to be voided by the fact that you will spend the next few months with the testosterone levels of an 80 year old. Not a ton of old men grow taller, more masculine, or more muscular. You’re a dude, you need male hormones. Simple as that. Maybe hcg will be enough for you. Get blood work done six weeks after your last test injection. If you’re taking hcg during that time then perhaps it’ll be enough to get you back to normal. But there’s a reason that pct has been and will continue to be a SERM: nothing else works as reliably. Best of luck young man.

Much appreciated. Just so I understand, my last injection will be this week and it will have been 4 weeks of 750ius of HCG (3000IU total). I’d imagine an extra week of heavy HCG doses isn’t really necessary as the testosterone tapers off? It’s actually new to me that aromasin doesn’t nuke the estrogen conversion from HCG.

I have an extra bottle so I could put it to use but either way I’ll get bloodwork 6 weeks after my last injection and I’ll reassess and use the nolva if my LH, FSH and test are still bottomed out.