T Nation

18 YO Male with Low Libido


#1

Hey guys, I was just wondering if i could get some help, Im an 18 year old guy I do not have any desire for sex or anything of that nature. This has just killed a great relationship I've had with a female, I can't understand why I feel this way! I sleep plenty, I have minimal stress, I eat healthy, I have a good social life, I play sports and exercise regularly. I do not know what is wrong with me, I am 100% straight, and I can't seem to figure out what is wrong with me.

Any help would be appreciated!


#2

Get your blood work done. If it’s fine, stop caring. Just live your life and find something productive to fill the “hunting for vagina” time.

You’re 18, the likely hood of that relationship being that significant is lower than you feel about it right now.

Relax, get your panels and enjoy your life if you’re chemically healthy.


#3

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
Get your blood work done. If it’s fine, stop caring.[/quote]

This. People are brainwashed into thinking that all men are sex machines. If everything is fine with your body, it’s just a part of who you are - and that’s ok. Do you suffer from the fact that you don’t lust after girls or from the feeling that you’re broken? Also, most importantly - do you feel physical lust in any way? You don’t have to answer this question, but is there a chance that women aren’t your thing and you deny the possibility? Just guessing here. There are so many flavours other than straight vanilla.


#4

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
Get your blood work done. If it’s fine, stop caring. Just live your life and find something productive to fill the “hunting for vagina” time.

You’re 18, the likely hood of that relationship being that significant is lower than you feel about it right now.

Relax, get your panels and enjoy your life if you’re chemically healthy. [/quote]

I actually did get some blood work done, for low T, and general health. Thanks for the words man.


#5

[quote]nighthawkz wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
Get your blood work done. If it’s fine, stop caring.[/quote]

This. People are brainwashed into thinking that all men are sex machines. If everything is fine with your body, it’s just a part of who you are - and that’s ok. Do you suffer from the fact that you don’t lust after girls or from the feeling that you’re broken? Also, most importantly - do you feel physical lust in any way? You don’t have to answer this question, but is there a chance that women aren’t your thing and you deny the possibility? Just guessing here. There are so many flavours other than straight vanilla.
[/quote]

That it true, i should get my results back soon, i do have that desire, mentally that is. When it comes down to doing the deed i have no desire, if that makes any sense.


#6

[quote]Canuck88 wrote:

That it true, i should get my results back soon, i do have that desire, mentally that is. When it comes down to doing the deed i have no desire, if that makes any sense. [/quote]

What happens when there’s a live, naked girl in front of you? ED? Anxiety? You don’t care?

Do you jerk off?* Watch porn?*

  • You don’t have to answer these publicly, but if you don’t jerk off and you don’t watch porn maybe you just have naturally low desire. Nothing wrong with that at all, but do communicate that to future partners and you and they will be much happier.

#7

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:

[quote]Canuck88 wrote:

That it true, i should get my results back soon, i do have that desire, mentally that is. When it comes down to doing the deed i have no desire, if that makes any sense. [/quote]

What happens when there’s a live, naked girl in front of you? ED? Anxiety? You don’t care?

Anxiety for sure, if she’s naked in front of me I’m interested in her, I just get nervous about what is happening, at that point ill become discouraged and not care.

Do you jerk off?* Watch porn?*

jerk off, once a week max, porn no not for a few months.

  • You don’t have to answer these publicly, but if you don’t jerk off and you don’t watch porn maybe you just have naturally low desire. Nothing wrong with that at all, but do communicate that to future partners and you and they will be much happier.
    [/quote]

#8

Request your prolactin levels get tested.

High prolactin can lead to loss of libido


#9

[quote]Canuck88 wrote:
Im an 18 year old guy I do not have any desire for sex or anything of that nature. This has just killed a great relationship I’ve had with a female,[/quote]

The good news - you’re 18, it never would’ve lasted anyways.

Do you consider yourself a generally anxious person? I think that anxiety is your mind telling your body something is wrong. Maybe this wasn’t the right girl. Maybe the idea of unwanted pregnancies and STDs has you spooked. Maybe you’re thinking about Gramma (RIP) up in Heaven looking down and watching you bone your girlfriend. Who knows?

I bet you really liked this girl, huh? Maybe even felt like you were punching above your weight? The stakes were pretty high.

I hate to say it but you might need to get some randos under your belt. Get naked with girls you don’t want to date long-term so there’s nothing at stake. Stick your dick in some girls you don’t care about* and you might see the anxiety fall away like scales from Saul’s eyes. Then, when you meet someone you really like, you can take things slowly knowing that this is just how you work.

  • This isn’t carte blanche to be an asshole. Don’t lie to girls, don’t tell them you care about them more than you do to get in their pants. Be upfront and honest and respect the fact that a woman is making herself vulnerable by getting naked with you. Care about her as another human being even if you don’t want a relationship with her that lasts longer than 12 hours.

#10

Something might not be right if you only jerk it once a week. At that age I was jerking it probably twice a day.


#11

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:

[quote]Canuck88 wrote:
Im an 18 year old guy I do not have any desire for sex or anything of that nature. This has just killed a great relationship I’ve had with a female,[/quote]

The good news - you’re 18, it never would’ve lasted anyways.

Do you consider yourself a generally anxious person? I think that anxiety is your mind telling your body something is wrong. Maybe this wasn’t the right girl. Maybe the idea of unwanted pregnancies and STDs has you spooked. Maybe you’re thinking about Gramma (RIP) up in Heaven looking down and watching you bone your girlfriend. Who knows?

Yeah i would say i am anxious…

I bet you really liked this girl, huh? Maybe even felt like you were punching above your weight? The stakes were pretty high.

she was too hot for me, but i have shit self esteem

I hate to say it but you might need to get some randos under your belt. Get naked with girls you don’t want to date long-term so there’s nothing at stake. Stick your dick in some girls you don’t care about* and you might see the anxiety fall away like scales from Saul’s eyes. Then, when you meet someone you really like, you can take things slowly knowing that this is just how you work.

ill work on it boss.

  • This isn’t carte blanche to be an asshole. Don’t lie to girls, don’t tell them you care about them more than you do to get in their pants. Be upfront and honest and respect the fact that a woman is making herself vulnerable by getting naked with you. Care about her as another human being even if you don’t want a relationship with her that lasts longer than 12 hours.
    [/quote]

#12

[quote]strungoutboy21 wrote:
Something might not be right if you only jerk it once a week. At that age I was jerking it probably twice a day.[/quote]

low t?


#13

Are you on any medication?

Did you use to have desires and cravings, but they recently stopped?


#14

[quote]mbdix wrote:
Are you on any medication?

Did you use to have desires and cravings, but they recently stopped?[/quote]

no medication

yes, always, just seemed to fade away, i guess after my first serious gf and i broke up last winter, not abruptly did the desires and cravings stop, like i said they slowly faded


#15

How is your mental well being, amxiety and depression can wreck havoc with libido. Performance anxiety especially. Sometimes performance anxiety can cause symptoms you would’t think are “anxiety”. Or it could be something with your test levels if low enough. Perhaps even some kind of unconscious conflicft from something in your previous relationship.


#16

[quote]Canuck88 wrote:

[quote]mbdix wrote:
Are you on any medication?

Did you use to have desires and cravings, but they recently stopped?[/quote]

no medication

yes, always, just seemed to fade away, i guess after my first serious gf and i broke up last winter, not abruptly did the desires and cravings stop, like i said they slowly faded[/quote]

You are just being a bitch about the breakup. Get into the gym.


#17

[quote]cstratton2 wrote:
How is your mental well being, amxiety and depression can wreck havoc with libido. Performance anxiety especially. Sometimes performance anxiety can cause symptoms you would’t think are “anxiety”. Or it could be something with your test levels if low enough. Perhaps even some kind of unconscious conflicft from something in your previous relationship. [/quote]

Its okay, i get nervous over things, not depressed, performance anxiety is something that I have as i compare my self to others constantly, could be something i need talk about with a therapist.


#18

[quote]mbdix wrote:

[quote]Canuck88 wrote:

[quote]mbdix wrote:
Are you on any medication?

Did you use to have desires and cravings, but they recently stopped?[/quote]

no medication

yes, always, just seemed to fade away, i guess after my first serious gf and i broke up last winter, not abruptly did the desires and cravings stop, like i said they slowly faded[/quote]

You are just being a bitch about the breakup. Get into the gym.[/quote]

great advice, no sense in commenting if you’re going to say that.


#19

[quote]Canuck88 wrote:

[quote]mbdix wrote:

[quote]Canuck88 wrote:

[quote]mbdix wrote:
Are you on any medication?

Did you use to have desires and cravings, but they recently stopped?[/quote]

no medication

yes, always, just seemed to fade away, i guess after my first serious gf and i broke up last winter, not abruptly did the desires and cravings stop, like i said they slowly faded[/quote]

You are just being a bitch about the breakup. Get into the gym.[/quote]

great advice, no sense in commenting if you’re going to say that.[/quote]

bit of advice - you’re on the internet looking for advice … you’re going to get responses like the one from mbdix. Deal with them if you come on here asking for advice/help/whatever. Best approach is to pay attention to good, honest advice and ignore the trolls/really shitty advice.

You responding is just asking for him to come back and fuck with you some more.

To sum it up, if you come on the internetz for advice, best come with a thick skin.


#20

@OP - I’m having a little trouble understanding. You say you’re “100% straight” yet have no interest in sex whatsoever. If you’re so certain you’re heterosexual then you must desire sex with women no? Is your problem erectile? That’s not a big deal and affects lots of guys. I’m not the best one to give advice on that but i thought I’d seek clarification about what your problem actually is. It seems to me if you have/had a girlfriend and you’re 100% straight then you clearly are “interested in sex”. Perhaps you just have trouble performing it. Again, no big deal and could very well be a phase or something easily fixed.