100 Reasons It's Great to be a Guy

100 REASONS WHY IT’S GREAT TO BE A GUY

  1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

  2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.

  3. You know stuff about tanks.

  4. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

  5. Monday Night Football.

  6. You don’t have to monitor your friend’s sex lives.

  7. Your bathroom lines are 80 percent shorter.

  8. You can open all your own jars.

  9. Old friends don’t give a crap whether you lost or gained weight.

  10. Drycleaners and haircutters don’t rob you blind.

  11. When clicking through the channels you don’t have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.

  12. Your butt is never a factor in job interviews.

  13. All your orgasms are real.

  14. A beer gut doesn’t make you invisible to the opposite sex.

  15. Guys in hockey masks don’t attack you. (Unless you smash them into the boards.)

  16. You don’t have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

  17. You understand why Stripes is funny.

  18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

  19. Your last name stays put.

  20. You can leave the hotel bed unmade.

  21. When your work is criticized, you don’t have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

  22. You can kill your own food.

  23. The garage is all yours.

  24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

  25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.

  26. Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.

  27. You never have to clean a toilet.

  28. You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.

  29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.

  30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

  31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

  32. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

  33. The National College Cheerleading Championship.

  34. You don’t have to shave below your neck.

  35. None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.

  36. You don’t have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.

  37. If you’re 34 and single, nobody even notices.

  38. You can write your name in the snow.

  39. You can get into a non-trivial pissing contest.

  40. Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.

  41. Chocolate is just another snack.

  42. You can be president. (In this lifetime.)

  43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.

  44. Flowers fix everything.

  45. You never have to worry about other people’s feelings.

  46. You get to think about sex 90 percent of your waking hours.

  47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

  48. Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.

  49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

  50. You can say anything (“Wow, do my balls hurt!”) and not worry about what people will think.

  51. Foreplay is optional.

  52. Michael Bolton doesn’t live in your universe.

  53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.

  54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

  55. You don’t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader’s coming by.

  56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.

  57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

  58. You don’t give a rat’s ass if anyone notices your new haircut.

  59. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy without ever thinking, ‘He must be mad at me.’

  60. The world is your urinal.

  61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover’s about to leave you.

  62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.

  63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

  64. One mood, all the time!

  65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.

  66. You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one’s just too sleazy.

  67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.

  68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you’re wearing.

  69. Same work … more pay!

  70. Gray hair and wrinkles only add to your character.

  71. You don’t have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.

  72. Wedding dress: $2,000. Tuxedo rental: $75.

  73. You don’t care if someone’s talking about you behind your back.

  74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth’s population in 15 tries, at least in theory.

  75. You don’t mooch off others’ desserts.

  76. If you retain water, it’s in a canteen.

  77. The remote control is yours and yours alone.

  78. People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.

  79. ESPN’s SportsCenter.

  80. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

  81. Bachelor parties whomp butt over bridal showers.

  82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

  83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.

  84. You needn’t pretend you’re “freshening up” to go to the bathroom.

  85. If you don’t call your buddy when you say you will, he won’t tell your other friend you’ve changed.

  86. Someday you’ll be a dirty old man.

  87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase “Screw it.”

  88. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies.

  89. Princess Di’s death was just another obituary.

  90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

  91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you are not in the mood.

  92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.

  93. If something mechanical doesn’t work, you can bash it with a hammer or throw it across the room.

  94. New shoes don’t blister, cut and mangle your feet.

  95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.

  96. You don’t have to remember everyone’s birthdays and anniversaries.

  97. Not liking a person doesn’t preclude having great sex with them.

  98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with, “So … notice anything different?”

  99. Baywatch.

  100. There’s always a game on somewhere.

=====================================================

for all the man whiners (Live)

How about we don’t have to take an 8 pound crap out of our vagina when having a child. I think that could be number 1.

[quote]Finkikus wrote:
How about we don’t have to take an 8 pound crap out of our vagina when having a child. I think that could be number 1.[/quote]

That, or the fact we don’t flip out and blame everyone else for our own problems every month while bleeding vaginally.

56 isn’t always true. There are sometimes when you have to, but yeah… pretty much the rest is right on. damn, my balls are itchy… not hurting… but definitely itchy :wink:

79 FTW

Why it’s tough being a guy:

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don’t work enough, you’re a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it’s exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, it’s favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it’s equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it’s sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it’s male indifference.

If you cry, you’re a wimp.
If you don’t, you’re insensitive.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you’re a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy, that’s domination.
If she asks you, it’s a favor.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you’re vain.
If you don’t, you’re a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you’re after something.
If you don’t, you’re not thoughtful.

If you’re proud of your achievements, you’re an egotist.
If you’re not, you’re not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she’s tired.
If you have a headache, you don’t love her anymore.

92! That is so true. Walking footballs!

  1. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase “Screw it.”

Aint it the truth!

[quote]OctoberGirl wrote:
100 REASONS WHY IT’S GREAT TO BE A GUY

  1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

  2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.

  3. You know stuff about tanks.

  4. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

  5. Monday Night Football.

  6. You don’t have to monitor your friend’s sex lives.

  7. Your bathroom lines are 80 percent shorter.

  8. You can open all your own jars.

  9. Old friends don’t give a crap whether you lost or gained weight.

  10. Drycleaners and haircutters don’t rob you blind.

  11. When clicking through the channels you don’t have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.

  12. Your butt is never a factor in job interviews.

  13. All your orgasms are real.

  14. A beer gut doesn’t make you invisible to the opposite sex.

  15. Guys in hockey masks don’t attack you. (Unless you smash them into the boards.)

  16. You don’t have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

  17. You understand why Stripes is funny.

  18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

  19. Your last name stays put.

  20. You can leave the hotel bed unmade.

  21. When your work is criticized, you don’t have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

  22. You can kill your own food.

  23. The garage is all yours.

  24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

  25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.

  26. Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.

  27. You never have to clean a toilet.

  28. You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.

  29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.

  30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

  31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

  32. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

  33. The National College Cheerleading Championship.

  34. You don’t have to shave below your neck.

  35. None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.

  36. You don’t have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.

  37. If you’re 34 and single, nobody even notices.

  38. You can write your name in the snow.

  39. You can get into a non-trivial pissing contest.

  40. Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.

  41. Chocolate is just another snack.

  42. You can be president. (In this lifetime.)

  43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.

  44. Flowers fix everything.

  45. You never have to worry about other people’s feelings.

  46. You get to think about sex 90 percent of your waking hours.

  47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

  48. Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.

  49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

  50. You can say anything (“Wow, do my balls hurt!”) and not worry about what people will think.

  51. Foreplay is optional.

  52. Michael Bolton doesn’t live in your universe.

  53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.

  54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

  55. You don’t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader’s coming by.

  56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.

  57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

  58. You don’t give a rat’s ass if anyone notices your new haircut.

  59. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy without ever thinking, ‘He must be mad at me.’

  60. The world is your urinal.

  61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover’s about to leave you.

  62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.

  63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

  64. One mood, all the time!

  65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.

  66. You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one’s just too sleazy.

  67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.

  68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you’re wearing.

  69. Same work … more pay!

  70. Gray hair and wrinkles only add to your character.

  71. You don’t have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.

  72. Wedding dress: $2,000. Tuxedo rental: $75.

  73. You don’t care if someone’s talking about you behind your back.

  74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth’s population in 15 tries, at least in theory.

  75. You don’t mooch off others’ desserts.

  76. If you retain water, it’s in a canteen.

  77. The remote control is yours and yours alone.

  78. People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.

  79. ESPN’s SportsCenter.

  80. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

  81. Bachelor parties whomp butt over bridal showers.

  82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

  83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.

  84. You needn’t pretend you’re “freshening up” to go to the bathroom.

  85. If you don’t call your buddy when you say you will, he won’t tell your other friend you’ve changed.

  86. Someday you’ll be a dirty old man.

  87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase “Screw it.”

  88. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies.

  89. Princess Di’s death was just another obituary.

  90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

  91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you are not in the mood.

  92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.

  93. If something mechanical doesn’t work, you can bash it with a hammer or throw it across the room.

  94. New shoes don’t blister, cut and mangle your feet.

  95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.

  96. You don’t have to remember everyone’s birthdays and anniversaries.

  97. Not liking a person doesn’t preclude having great sex with them.

  98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with, “So … notice anything different?”

  99. Baywatch.

  100. There’s always a game on somewhere.

=====================================================

for all the man whiners (Live)[/quote]

Its more of a list about how it sucks too be a girl. ANd I am glad I am not one.

I never cease, nor do my friends. Either we’re criticized for being boorish, or we’re bastards for ceasing, so we’ve always continued.

I’m glad I’m not a girl either. But DAMN am I glad my wife is.

lol

Never trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn’t die.

That’s my sexist comment for the day.

When we say nothing’s wrong, Nothing’s wrong,
When a women says that, no sex for a week.

Women are probably the only reason I make any effort in life LOL

About 90 of those are great qualities to have in a girlfriend… <_<

Being a woman doesn’t automatically make you insecure bitchy and/or insane. It just makes that you default setting :wink:

[quote]
92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny. [/quote]

HAha, I love that you included that one. I think of it everytime I pass a small dog. Those degenerate, inferior breeds are just a perversion of nature.

Besides, you omitted the most important point that really should be on the list on a forum like this. Testosterone ;). Its handy when it comes to packing on the muscle.

most with one hand

I once drove for 2 hours with my brother without saying one word. when we did talk the conversation was “food?” “yeah.”
and we weren’t mad at each other.

what are you talking about? I loved Office Space.

too true.

[quote]Makavali wrote:
Never trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn’t die.

That’s my sexist comment for the day.[/quote]

South Park reference? Mr. Garrison said that.

[quote]Finkikus wrote:
How about we don’t have to take an 8 pound crap out of our vagina when having a child. I think that could be number 1.[/quote]

Good call for a first post … bravo

  1. If we have sex with 3 different girls in a weekend, we’re pimpin. If girls do, they’re sluts.

  2. We can park a truck without looking for a “big enough spot.”

  3. When we go to the mall for a pair of jeans, it only takes 15 minutes.

And now, 10 reasons why it sucks to be a guy.

  1. You never have to go without sex if you really want it.

  2. You expect us to defend your honor, no matter how big the offending party is.

  3. You never have to smash your knuckles open changing brakes.

  4. All we get is the garage.

  5. If something needs fixing, we’re expected to fix it. If we can’t, you’ve systematically managed to make us feel insignificant.

  6. “Thats never happened to me before.”

  7. We have to buy all our own drinks at a bar, plus yours.

  8. Your friends don’t call you to help them move.

  9. Your worth is not measured by how many shots you can do without dying.

  10. We have to deal with you in order to have sex.