-5 foot 9 inches
-endomorphic; alopecia areata in beard and scalp for years.
-stomach, hips, waist, butt.
-bipolar/mood swings for years and social anxiety/social phobia. Struggled enormously to ever gain muscle. Binge-eating compulsion. Insomnia for ten years. Symptoms started around onset of puberty (~15 years old).
Take xanax 0.5mg every night to help get to sleep. Sometimes works, sometimes doesn't.
Got full blood draw done from primary care doc after moving to new city. Showed total T at 590~ng/dl and free T at 8.7pg/ml ("low"). Doc gives me RX for 200mg/ test cyp once every two weeks (idiotic) and says "feel better!"
Read internet, realize doc is stupid. Run one week of 100mg test cyp. Go to mens health clinic specializes in TRT. They start me on 140mg test cyp/week.
After first few weeks, some changes:
-way increased libido/erection strength/sexual performance
-increased anxiety including one incident of full-on panic attack. Was sitting on the couch after a night of poor sleep and out of nowhere, felt like I couldn't breathe. Stood up, walked around, panic increased. Thought I was going to die alone in my kitchen floor. Almost called an ambulance, was so convinced of death approaching.
Get labs re-tested after 4 or 5 weeks. Results show total T @ 645ng/dl on day 6 after injection, with the office's estimate being 845ng/dl peak day 4. Estradiol 13.2pg/ml. Physician's assistant (manages the office) increased dosage to 150mg/week. Was supposed to start HCG around this time, but I banked sperm pre-therapy and told them I was feeling good with no personal need for HCG. Didn't mind the testicular shrinkage. So the office concurred and I did not start HCG. No AI, no HCG.
Sometime around now, I noticed bad changes. Libido fell off completely and went away. Currently 10 weeks in and have zero sex drive. Some of the muscle I initially gained seems to have gone away. Food cravings/binge eating has been really hard to control. Sleep is poor and motivation/drive/energy is down.
Got labs tested Monday, 2/2/15 (11 weeks). Results came back today showing total T ~574ng/dl on day 6 (day of draw), and free T at 8.3pg/ml(!). Estradiol at 12.1pg/ml. Both total T and free T are LOWER than BEFORE I started TRT!
I asked the PA to review the results with him. He was first of all confused why free T was even on the blood draw. I told him it was because I specifically asked for it to be. I told him of my symptoms and disappearance of TRT benefits. He said he honestly had no idea why my total T and free T are actually LOWER than they were before starting TRT. He said, "maybe you did better on the lower dose. Maybe it's too high." To which I said, "Well the estradiol is still really low. How can the dose be too high?" He concurred.
He said he was going to research it some more and talk to his boss, an actual doctor. The only thing he said was "it might have something to do with your SHBG. But we've NEVER tested anybody here for that."
I have 4,000iu of HCG in my possession, reconstituted in the fridge. The office's notes are to use 25 units 2 days before T injection, and 25 units the day before T injection. I haven't touched it yet.
Any thoughts on what could be causing this, or what I should do?