T Nation

10 Little Known Facts About Barack Obama


#1
  1. Video games were originally supposed to come with a 'God' mode and an 'Obama' mode. But it turns out trading all your ammunition for the ability to make people worship you isn't very much fun so they just made the 'God' mode.

  2. Barack Obama can fool all of the people all of the time.

  3. Jesus learned how to perform the Miracle of Loaves and Fish from Barack.

  4. Barack Obama really was born in Hawaii, more accurately, he was forged in the fires beneath Mauna Loa.

  5. Barack Obama is Martin Luther King Jr.'s dream.

  6. The bombing of Hiroshima was conducted to provide a plausible cover for a battle between Barack Obama and Michael Jordan. The battle destroyed Nagasaki and ended in a draw with Jordan agreeing to use his powers for basketball and Barack for politics.

  7. Global warming wasn't man made, it was the Earth anticipating the Obama Presidency.

  8. The real goal of the Obama Presidency is to find a cure for the Childlike Empress and save us all from the Nothing.

  9. If you rearrange the letters of Barack Obama's name, you can't really spell much. If he does it, it spells out the Preamble of the United States Constitution.

  10. Barack Obama bleeds Red, White, and Blue and if you were to paint a flag on any piece of clothing with his blood, it would grant the wearer invisibility.


#2

not too bad. Some were quite good.


#3

[quote]lucasa wrote:

  1. Barack Obama really was born in Hawaii, more accurately, he was forged in the fires beneath Mauna Loa.[/quote]

Does that mean that if four hobbits, an elf, two men and a wizard all get together, carry him back to Hawaii and throw him back into the fire, we can prevent his dark lords from bringing all of the lands of Middle Earth into darkness?


#4

These are the people that have the GOD complex; these are the new chosen ones. The Republican Party holds itself out as GODâ??s party

Check out the banner the Payer in Jesus name project

http://us.mc324.mail.yahoo.com/mc/welcome?.gx=0&.tm=1250459184&.rand=e9iskhcr908nl#_pg=showMessage&sMid=5&&filterBy=&midIndex=5&mid=1_1621_AMTPjkQAAS%2BcSogHdQrrihNbv80&m=1_189162_AMfPjkQAAPR4SohdMwCtzicIFtM,1_188578_AMPPjkQAAVZrSohM1wjYtUhToh0,1_187816_AMfPjkQAAYHUSohJOgyYu07agLM,1_187298_AMjPjkQAAHuaSohDEAq71E8CKYY,1_1009_AMXPjkQAAVw8SogJiQxW%2BCBknWk,1_1621_AMTPjkQAAS%2BcSogHdQrrihNbv80,1_2401_AMXPjkQAAXVbSofnqgf2HH7NOWE,1_2991_AMLPjkQAAGhkSofetQRB4G2HwAA,1_4765_AMPPjkQAASsUSoe7ZQN4HFCfiQA,1_7161_AMnPjkQAARteSodsjw6OL3Xqyxw,1_7742_AMjPjkQAARXnSoc9LQru%2FVQcg%2FU,&sort=date&order=down&startMid=0&pSize=25&hash=0adb9443aae715cbaa6a655cdcc35f03&.jsrand=3397971


#5

[quote]Varqanir wrote:
lucasa wrote:

  1. Barack Obama really was born in Hawaii, more accurately, he was forged in the fires beneath Mauna Loa.

Does that mean that if four hobbits, an elf, two men and a wizard all get together, carry him back to Hawaii and throw him back into the fire, we can prevent his dark lords from bringing all of the lands of Middle Earth into darkness?[/quote]

HAHAHAHAHA!!


#6

[quote]Varqanir wrote:
lucasa wrote:

  1. Barack Obama really was born in Hawaii, more accurately, he was forged in the fires beneath Mauna Loa.

Does that mean that if four hobbits, an elf, two men and a wizard all get together, carry him back to Hawaii and throw him back into the fire, we can prevent his dark lords from bringing all of the lands of Middle Earth into darkness?[/quote]

DUDE!!! How about a “SPOILER ALERT”?! Some of us haven’t seen the movie yet.


#7

[quote]Varqanir wrote:
lucasa wrote:

  1. Barack Obama really was born in Hawaii, more accurately, he was forged in the fires beneath Mauna Loa.

Does that mean that if four hobbits, an elf, two men and a wizard all get together, carry him back to Hawaii and throw him back into the fire, we can prevent his dark lords from bringing all of the lands of Middle Earth into darkness?[/quote]

Thats like the funniest post I’ve read here. I finally got my XCR havent shot it yet but I like it!!!


#8

[quote]pittbulll wrote:

These are the people that have the GOD complex; these are the new chosen ones. The Republican Party holds itself out as GODâ??s party

Check out the banner the Payer in Jesus name project

http://us.mc324.mail.yahoo.com/mc/welcome?.gx=0&.tm=1250459184&.rand=e9iskhcr908nl#_pg=showMessage&sMid=5&&filterBy=&midIndex=5&mid=1_1621_AMTPjkQAAS%2BcSogHdQrrihNbv80&m=1_189162_AMfPjkQAAPR4SohdMwCtzicIFtM,1_188578_AMPPjkQAAVZrSohM1wjYtUhToh0,1_187816_AMfPjkQAAYHUSohJOgyYu07agLM,1_187298_AMjPjkQAAHuaSohDEAq71E8CKYY,1_1009_AMXPjkQAAVw8SogJiQxW%2BCBknWk,1_1621_AMTPjkQAAS%2BcSogHdQrrihNbv80,1_2401_AMXPjkQAAXVbSofnqgf2HH7NOWE,1_2991_AMLPjkQAAGhkSofetQRB4G2HwAA,1_4765_AMPPjkQAASsUSoe7ZQN4HFCfiQA,1_7161_AMnPjkQAARteSodsjw6OL3Xqyxw,1_7742_AMjPjkQAARXnSoc9LQru%2FVQcg%2FU,&sort=date&order=down&startMid=0&pSize=25&hash=0adb9443aae715cbaa6a655cdcc35f03&.jsrand=3397971[/quote]

It’s exceedingly humorous that you feel the need to take it on yourself to defend Barack from the fact that he taught Jesus a miracle or fought Michael Jordan.


#9

[quote]lucasa wrote:
pittbulll wrote:

These are the people that have the GOD complex; these are the new chosen ones. The Republican Party holds itself out as GOD�¢??s party

Check out the banner the Payer in Jesus name project

http://us.mc324.mail.yahoo.com/mc/welcome?.gx=0&.tm=1250459184&.rand=e9iskhcr908nl#_pg=showMessage&sMid=5&&filterBy=&midIndex=5&mid=1_1621_AMTPjkQAAS%2BcSogHdQrrihNbv80&m=1_189162_AMfPjkQAAPR4SohdMwCtzicIFtM,1_188578_AMPPjkQAAVZrSohM1wjYtUhToh0,1_187816_AMfPjkQAAYHUSohJOgyYu07agLM,1_187298_AMjPjkQAAHuaSohDEAq71E8CKYY,1_1009_AMXPjkQAAVw8SogJiQxW%2BCBknWk,1_1621_AMTPjkQAAS%2BcSogHdQrrihNbv80,1_2401_AMXPjkQAAXVbSofnqgf2HH7NOWE,1_2991_AMLPjkQAAGhkSofetQRB4G2HwAA,1_4765_AMPPjkQAASsUSoe7ZQN4HFCfiQA,1_7161_AMnPjkQAARteSodsjw6OL3Xqyxw,1_7742_AMjPjkQAARXnSoc9LQru%2FVQcg%2FU,&sort=date&order=down&startMid=0&pSize=25&hash=0adb9443aae715cbaa6a655cdcc35f03&.jsrand=3397971

It’s exceedingly humorous that you feel the need to take it on yourself to defend Barack from the fact that he taught Jesus a miracle or fought Michael Jordan.[/quote]

I do not feel I am defending any one , I feel I am pointing out the lunacy of comparing Obama To Christ, No one feels the way the OP states other than the Jesus only party


#10

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.


#11

[quote]pushharder wrote:
pittbulll wrote:
lucasa wrote:
pittbulll wrote:

These are the people that have the GOD complex; these are the new chosen ones. The Republican Party holds itself out as GOD�??�?�¢??s party

Check out the banner the Payer in Jesus name project

http://us.mc324.mail.yahoo.com/mc/welcome?.gx=0&.tm=1250459184&.rand=e9iskhcr908nl#_pg=showMessage&sMid=5&&filterBy=&midIndex=5&mid=1_1621_AMTPjkQAAS%2BcSogHdQrrihNbv80&m=1_189162_AMfPjkQAAPR4SohdMwCtzicIFtM,1_188578_AMPPjkQAAVZrSohM1wjYtUhToh0,1_187816_AMfPjkQAAYHUSohJOgyYu07agLM,1_187298_AMjPjkQAAHuaSohDEAq71E8CKYY,1_1009_AMXPjkQAAVw8SogJiQxW%2BCBknWk,1_1621_AMTPjkQAAS%2BcSogHdQrrihNbv80,1_2401_AMXPjkQAAXVbSofnqgf2HH7NOWE,1_2991_AMLPjkQAAGhkSofetQRB4G2HwAA,1_4765_AMPPjkQAASsUSoe7ZQN4HFCfiQA,1_7161_AMnPjkQAARteSodsjw6OL3Xqyxw,1_7742_AMjPjkQAARXnSoc9LQru%2FVQcg%2FU,&sort=date&order=down&startMid=0&pSize=25&hash=0adb9443aae715cbaa6a655cdcc35f03&.jsrand=3397971

It’s exceedingly humorous that you feel the need to take it on yourself to defend Barack from the fact that he taught Jesus a miracle or fought Michael Jordan.

I do not feel I am defending any one , I feel I am pointing out the lunacy of comparing Obama To Christ, No one feels the way the OP states other than the Jesus only party

YOU are attacking the use of hyperbole?[/quote]

What I am trying to point out it is the Jesus, Bible thumping, self righteous that are claiming Obama thinks of himself as righteous. It goes to show you can train the masses with rote.


#12

[quote]pittbulll wrote:

I do not feel I am defending any one , I feel I am pointing out the lunacy of comparing Obama To Christ, No one feels the way the OP states other than the Jesus only party[/quote]

Wow! That entire post, and the comparison (rather the asserted mentorship) of Jesus Christ is the looniest thing you could find?

To be completely honest, thematically, I’m drawing a stronger comparison between Barack Obama and Chuck Norris.


#13

[quote]lucasa wrote:
pittbulll wrote:

I do not feel I am defending any one , I feel I am pointing out the lunacy of comparing Obama To Christ, No one feels the way the OP states other than the Jesus only party

Wow! That entire post, and the comparison (rather the asserted mentorship) of Jesus Christ is the looniest thing you could find?

To be completely honest, thematically, I’m drawing a stronger comparison between Barack Obama and Chuck Norris.[/quote]

I agree Obama reminds me of Chuck Norris :slight_smile:


#14

[quote]pittbulll wrote:
lucasa wrote:
pittbulll wrote:

I do not feel I am defending any one , I feel I am pointing out the lunacy of comparing Obama To Christ, No one feels the way the OP states other than the Jesus only party

Wow! That entire post, and the comparison (rather the asserted mentorship) of Jesus Christ is the looniest thing you could find?

To be completely honest, thematically, I’m drawing a stronger comparison between Barack Obama and Chuck Norris.

I agree Obama reminds me of Chuck Norris :slight_smile:

[/quote]

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Barack Obama pajamas.

Barack Obama can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Barack Obama has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.

Barack Obama doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.


#15
  1. Obama’s poop is used as currency in Argentina.

#16

River Tam can kill Chuck Norris and Barack Obama with her brain.


#17

[quote]Varqanir wrote:
River Tam can kill Chuck Norris and Barack Obama with her brain.[/quote]

Now you’re getting obscure and a little cult-ish. The show didn’t even last a season.

EDIT TO ADD: I feel so out of the loop. I just googled and found out that a movie was made. In 2005.


#18

[quote]Gambit_Lost wrote:
pittbulll wrote:
lucasa wrote:
pittbulll wrote:

I do not feel I am defending any one , I feel I am pointing out the lunacy of comparing Obama To Christ, No one feels the way the OP states other than the Jesus only party

Wow! That entire post, and the comparison (rather the asserted mentorship) of Jesus Christ is the looniest thing you could find?

To be completely honest, thematically, I’m drawing a stronger comparison between Barack Obama and Chuck Norris.

I agree Obama reminds me of Chuck Norris :slight_smile:

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Barack Obama pajamas.

Barack Obama can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Barack Obama has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.

Barack Obama doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
[/quote]

Holy Macaroni , I must be Super Man


#19

[quote]Varqanir wrote:
River Tam can kill Chuck Norris and Barack Obama with her brain.[/quote]

You wouldn’t believe the things I can do to River Tam with my brain.


#20

[quote]lucasa wrote:
Varqanir wrote:
River Tam can kill Chuck Norris and Barack Obama with her brain.

You wouldn’t believe the things I can do to River Tam with my brain.[/quote]

Oh, yes I would. I’ve already done most of them.