As some of you who've been here for awhile may be aware, I have a crazy X (literally B.P.D.) who has been popping up lately. She came around awhile back telling me she was going to move to West Coast/I was/will always be the abosolute best thing she's ever had in and out of the bedroom. BTW let me emphasize A-L-O-T of talk about in the bedroom (I'm sure you're all shocked). Anyway, despite the chance at sex with the ex, with her "supposedly moving" in a month or so, I didn't hit it.
Well that was a few months ago, and for the most part out of sight out of mind. Then a few nights ago the bitch ambushed me. She came to where I work, while I was high as a giraffe's ass, and started throwing the ass at me. Amazingly I held my composure, and honestly it's probably because I have interests elsewhere. HOWEVER she brought a freind. A curvaceous, tanned skinded, big tited, thick assed, sexy fucking thing just makes me wanna wrap that hair around my hand nice and tight....sorry. Well of course all my freinds at work are throwing Raw-fuck-eyes at her, and trying to get me to hook it up. The X and here sexy ass friend hang around my work (pt delivery) and the X is practically raping me everytime I come back from delivery. Rambling on and on about how good I look, grabbing my ass, flipping her skirt, and then talking about my sexual prowess right in front of her friend with the thick rear end (not sure if it was all part of the conspiracy, but she seemed turned on).
Finally, after being pinned up against the wall (short of tossing her aside) I agreed under all of my rules, that I will make up as I go along.
Her friend has to come with and so does one of my best friends ie. hook em up.
She and I are going to talk, it's not a date, I will not stare at her friends fine ass, but I will look, just as I will look at whatever else I want.
I pick the restaurant (sushi) and it's her treat. Hey, it's only right since she asked me out.
I'm not driving.
Well sure enough I get out the shower and there are 2 young ladies in my driveway. Here's where it goes all wrong. My friend doesn't answer his phone (kid's practically a fucking narcaleptic sp?), and her friend has to "be home" so it's just the two of us. OH JOY! Long story short, dinner was nice and free. I was told I was being an asshole, and finally explained that's how things are going to be with her and I. Then it happened. I honestly thought it wouldn't but...well just listen. We got into her car and she asked me to get a cd from the back seat. I reached back there and her head and dexterious hands darted for my belt and formed suction around ma huang quite quickly. What further ensued there could merely be described and one of the most wicked backside, frontside, slip-and-slide, ripping rides, ass slapping, nut-sac-clapping fuck fests that parking lot has ever seen.
Now I realize this wasn't a great idea but hey... I said friends with benefits is all we are and she agreed. The next day she called and left a message to confirm how much she agreed, and that "I am the greatest". I figure I won't call her for at least 6 days just to reinforce how things are gonna be. Well today she calls telling me she's got a date tonight. I truly don't care but, I think that she's just trying to get me to call. Why else would she bother telling me that? Anyway, it looks like this isn't going to be as simple as I had hoped, but I'm not suprised.
Sure wish my dick had an on/off switch sometimes.